Why do some parents of super nice kids don't value them?

Question

Hi! I don't know if my question makes sense, but I know a lot of kids that are the nicest people on earth (almost like angels heh), yet it seems their parents never value them. They yell at them and treat them as if they were the worst kids on earth.

Why?

Answer 1

I know exactly what you mean. I won't take myself as an example, but my boyfriend's mom treats him bad, and he's the sweetest, most obedient kid ever!! :) Seriously. Lol, I mean, he does things for her that I'd laugh if my parents asked me to do, I'm more on the rebellious side and he's really complacent. Anyway, I don't know the answer to this, but I can tell you of the things I THINK.

Sometimes I think it's because those parents weren't ready to be parents at the time they were, and when you're not ready to have kids, you still have that part of you that is selfish and when you have kids they SHOULD become your world. If you're selfish, you're gonna keep that part of you that doesn't acknowledge your kids' accomplishments and qualities.

Sometimes I think it's because the parent is bitter, or resenful toward themselves in some way, and they are too caught up in themselves to care about their kid that much.

Sometimes I think that it's because they know their kid is good and they take it for granted. That's really sad, though.

And, sometimes I think that it's life, lol. It's unfair, and well, it doesn't always make sense. :(

Answer 2

Some people don't like nice people.  Some parents have expectations that their child will be the next Hillary Clinton or John McCain, strong bold types.  

It's sad but many people "smell" weakness and attack it, even if it's their own kids.

Answer 3

I don't think there's one answer to that question. I do think that there's more than one repsonse that a child in that situation can have. It's hard because it's natural to have your self imagine largely shaped by what your parents teach you. However, it's possible to step back and see yourself better than your parents see you. Some kids rebel against their parents and do bad things, it's just as easy to rebel against them and do good things. The most important thing is to be able to accept yourself even if your parent's are overly critical and don't appreciate who you really are. It's good to be able to accept constructive criticism, but it's not good to internalize negativity. If you are good at something embrace it, if you know that you are less good at other things, don't beat yourself up over it. Remember that most faults are virtues gone awry. Find the virtues and go where they take you.

If parents aren't smart enough to see how great their kids are, it's their loss, but it doesn't have to be the kids undoing. Be strong and love who you are.

Answer 4

It doesn't matter what that kid would do.  There is something wrong with the parents.

Answer 5

Some parents take having great kids for granted.  Instead of enjoying and appreciating what wonderful kids they do have they are too hung up on not letting the kids forget who is boss.

You have to develop a relationship  of mutual respect between your children and yourself (the parent).  Parents forget that how they treat their children will determine how their grown children treat their parents as the parents age.  One day the parents will wonder why their kids don't  bring  the grand kids for visits.

I call it KARMA !  You get what you put into the lives of others.

Answer 6

My boyfriend is that way. He's 18 years old, works two jobs, gets pretty decent grades, doesn't smoke, drink, s*x, do drugs, and he's just simply sweet. And his parents are the MEANEST people I've ever met, especially to him.

They're just controlling. That's it. Worried over their own insecurities and such, I don't know. Whatever causes people to be controlling of others.