Why do some people believe they are mature?

Question

I have been out on my own for 8 years, have a full time steady job, my own car and license, my own apartment and recently married.

My former best friend still lives with her father, no license or car, bounces from job to job and uses people. She believes she is very mature and independent.

We are both in our mid twenties. We were extremely close and had a lot of fun going out clubbing, bar hopping, etc. I can't do those things like I used to and I refuse to provide her with transportation...she ditches me. I was helping with transportation for work and asked for gas money and she avoided me.

She didn't show up to my wedding or helped me move when she said she was going to, but I was always there for her when she needed help.

We have different goals and lifestyles and she is free to live her life the way she chooses. She acts like she is waiting for a man to rescue her and take care of her.

Why are some people like this? Aren't we working on being independent when we become adults? Why do people have different views on what being mature and independent is like? Then they blame you for every little thing that went wrong in the friendship…

Answer 1

Well people can be very disappointing, especially ones that claim to be your friends.  There are some people who live on their own who are immature, they might have their own place but still act like a kid.  I'm not saying that about you, you seem to have it together.  It sounds like your former boss is using you.  Find a better friend.

Answer 2

Some people are like this because they choose to be. The term 'independent' has many different meanings. The reason why we have different views is because we CAN.

What kind of questions are those?

When I grow up, I want to live with my parents, have a bicycle, be a writer, and have friends that I can count on.

Does that mean that I'm won't mature or independent?

Could you make things a little clearer? Does she still get money from her jobs? How does she use people? Does she burden her father and act like she's still a kid who's needs have to be taken care of by him? Did she even want a car in the first place?

What if, because you refused to provide her with transportation, she ditched you because she thought you deserved it? You said you 'refused' to provide her with transportation, not 'couldn't' because you were married, and couldn't go along with you. 'Ditch?' In which way?

You expect her to give you money even though you refused to provide her with transportation? Excuse me, but in the mind of people like her, you said you weren't her friend after not providing her with transportation.

Some people aren't appreciative of the things that other people do for them. You were always there for her when you could be, but she just wasn't. You grew up, she didn't (in my mind).

Hope that this answer made sense, and I also hope that you include more information soon.

Asking why some people believe they are mature is like asking why people believe in God, and asking why humans are capable of thinking.