Why do some people feel that children from overseas are less deserving of being adopted...?

Question

than American children?

Now maybe you don't mean it that way, but I can count at least 50 times when the question: "Why overseas when there are children in the U.S.?" has been asked on YA.

Answers are always given, and yet the ? still keeps on coming.

Why can some people not get it in their heads that EVERY child deserves to have a family, regardless of where they come from.

Answer 1

I totally agree with Romany.

Answer 2

I wouldnt do it because it cost too much to adopt a child over seas

Answer 3

I think what you all need to realize is that if some of these children aren't adopted from overseas, like from Ethiopia or Ghana, they are going to DIE!

The median age of a person in Ethiopia is 18.1 years. People die very young, mostly from disease and/or starvation. In Liberia, the country is completely torn apart by war. It's so bad that some agencies don't let adoptive parents travel to Liberia to pick up their child; an escort has to bring the child to them.

In the U.S., we have programs where orphans live with foster parents, and their medical expenses are paid for. It isn't an ideal situation, but they are alive, breathing, and fed. In Africa, children are just thrown into orphanages where the child-to-caretaker ratio is shameful. They have no food, many have polluted water, and there is no medical care. And, most don't even have the privilege to live in orphanages. Two-year-olds roam the streets.

This isn't about how we 'think we're giving a child a better life by making them live in our culture.' This is about giving a child at a chance to LIVE, never mind what culture! And few have blood relatives. My family sponsored a child in Kenya. He had one grandfather. No aunts, uncles, or parents. They had all died long ago. And this is a common problem. AIDS is rampant in Africa, and they have no medical care to slow it down. Once someone gets it, they die rather quickly.

It is a wonderful thing to adopt an older American child. It is equally wonderful to adopt a child from overseas. They are two very different callings people have in life, and both are equally as noble.

Answer 4

not at all less worthy and i do believe the need is just as great in america.  everyone has a specific purpose and mine just happens 2 b n american adoption but i would love to branch out if i have done all i am purposed 2 do in america.  wishing you the best...

Answer 5

Please provide references to show people stating that children from overseas are less deserving of homes or families.  I'm not seeing this.  I see people saying that children should always have the best possible home, which usually means loving, caring biological parents - and that if biological parents aren't available then a second option should be found that is equally loving and caring.  I see folks saying that kids shouldn't be shipped half way around the world to serve the selfish desires of adopters who could care less about what the child will go through as long as they've got their child.  I see people saying that all children should have homes where they are - in their own homeland, surrounded by their own culture, their own people.  I see people saying that adopters who think Americans can provide a better home for these kids are the ones who are being elitist.  I see no one - not one single person - saying that children DON'T deserve a loving family.  Please provide references so that I can better answer your question.

Answer 6

I completely agree with the fact that ALL children deserve to have a loving and caring home.  However, I personally feel that we, as a nation, need to take care of the children in our own country first.  There are so many children in America that are in desperate need of loving parents.

Answer 7

i dont care what other people have to say! i completely agree with you all children deserve to have a home and a loving family. i think people think that because its easier and cheaper i mean if you adopt a child from china you may save them from death of hunger the same with aferica, and all other hunger bound countrys. if you adopt a child from iraq you may save them from suffering from the war. also alot of people are racist and would rather have a child from their own country but the quote "think globaly act localy" doesnt always apply. children all over the world deserve a home so all the power to you who ever ignors racist comments and adopts from other countrys!

Answer 8

We should take care of our own country first, but hopefully I live to see the day when the borders of countries are knocked down, there are no crimes, no terrorists, everyone is a child of one, peaceful government. THEN, we can adopt others.

Answer 9

Well - those of us who have tried (are still trying) to adopt from our foster care system KNOW the answer and would never ask the question. It is difficult to impossible to adopt from the US system - we are still trying (and still fostering) these 6 years. In the meantime we have adopted 2 amazing children (one son and one daughter) from China and we are so grateful to be able to call these children family. We are still hoping to adopt locally - but fostering is worthwhile and we will continue to do that as well. I just wish that people would think before they speak - or at least do a quick check of facts before they say something they know nothing about.

Honestly, I have never met one single person who asked the question and then said  - "Oh, yea, I adopted children from the US foster care system" Usually the people who are most critical of those of us who have adopted from anywhere are those who - "Just couldn't love a baby not born to them" HA! If they only knew what  they were missing...

Answer 10

The statement "why overseas when there are children in the US?" is not meant to be elitist.  I think adopting a child from overseas in order to give him/her "a better life" in the US is elitist.

Is being raised by strangers in American "culture"  preferable to being raised by your own blood relatives or, barring that, by your own countrymen in the country of your birth?

Answer 11

Yes, every child deserves a family, but the reason that many people go overseas to adopt is because they cannot adopt a baby in their own country. There are thousands of older children who are left in the care system because people adopt babies from overseas. It is these children that we are defending when we say 'adopt from your own country'. This is not being elitist. It is being realistic and concerned for the welfare of children who come into the care system when they are not babies.

PS. I write this as an English woman who adopted a 5 year old child who had been in the care system for 3 years.

Answer 12

Hi Kazi,

It's not that we don't think children from overseas are less deserving!  

It's that every child deserves better.  They deserve to be either raised by their own parents, their own extended family members, or within their own community, or at least within their own culture if at all possible.  Permanently sending a child across the world, without giving them any say in the matter, should be the very last resort.

It is because children deserve to have their own interests considered first before those of PAPs in other countries are considered.  It is in children's best interests to not be separated from everything they ever knew.  Being adopted within your own country is traumatic enough.  Try adding changing the language, the food, the sounds, the smells, the people, their name, their religion, everything in their culture and you greatly compound the challenges for the child.  

There are other ways to help children that do not involve taking everything away from them.  For example, if you stopped to consider that a conservative estimate for international adoption costs for ONE child is $30,000, and multiplied that by the thousands of adoptions annually, you could begin to see the difference that much money could make if we truly wanted to help children there instead of helping ourselves.  Families can be helped to stay connected so international adoption would not have to be resorted to at all.  Communities can be made stronger so they could become better prepared to take care of their own children.  People could work for political change that could lead to helping the children of the future.  Donations can be made for programs to help them thrive where they are.  Taking one child away not only is not necessarily the best thing for a child, it does nothing to help the many other children left behind.  It does not begin to solve the problems there.  Our priorities as well as our motives need to be questioned.

Consider also that many international adoptions are ethically questionable with respect to how children become available for adoption, and you have more reasons to not contribute to the demand for their children.

The issue is really not about more choices for U.S. PAPs so that they may be allowed to take children from other countries.  The issue is about doing MORE for foreign children there so that the problems in their countries do not continue into the future.  We DO wish to stop the presumed need for exporting children in the first place, don't we?  Why should any country have to do that?  Why should any family have to sacrifice their children like that?  It is far more respectful to honor the child by creating solutions for them, not for adults in other countries.  

Hope this helps explain it from the child's perspective.

julie j

reunited adoptee

Answer 13

For me, elitism has nothing to do with it.  All children deserve to have a loving, warm, caring, emotionally stable family composed of people they are directly related to.  Anything else is, unfortunately, second best.  All children deserve "a family", but that's not good enough.  Using that logic, any ol' family off the street would do, regardless if they're abusive, drug addicts, etc.  No, I think that we must recognize that anything less than the child's OWN family can't possibly meet the standard of being the BEST possible scenario.

I would never say a child "deserves" to be adopted - to be taken from their biological family (regardless of the reason, it still sucks), to be shuffled around, raised by strangers, and add onto that an international adoption where the child loses his/her heritage, culture, homeland, language, customs...no, I don't think children deserve to have that kind of life.  I think they deserve to have happy, healthy, loving, kind parents who are directly related to them.

I'm willing to admit I'm second best, and that my children deserve to have their own parents...but it couldn't happen.  Children in other countries can at least be taken care of in their own countries, by people who look like them, speak their language, know how to cook their native food, etc.  If the programs they have in other countries aren't good enough (or are non-existant), then we need to be putting forth the effort to get programs in place to help people keep their babies!  We don't need to be helping ourselves to their babies.  That helps no one but the AP's.  International adoptees would be better served by a loving, emotionally healthy, stable, financially secure family of origin in their country of origin.  It has absolutely nothing to do with American children being "better" or "more worthy".

Answer 14

Take care of children in our own country first

Answer 15

Every time I hear "take care of our own" I think racism. In my mind every child deserves a loving home regardless of where they are born.

To those who scream take care of our own I say practice what you preach!

Answer 16

I completely agree with you.

It sounds like "Every child deserves a home and family, but some children deserve it more than others."

It would just be enough if people could accept that the choice to adopt and the choice of which adoption route to take is very personal and just leave it like that.

Answer 17

As a single mother (with two biological children and lots of income), I was ineligible to adopt an infant in the U.S.  Yes, perhaps I could have adopted an older foster child in the U.S., and I hope to do that someday.

I was able to adopt my daughter in Russia in 2000.  She was in a "baby home" with many, many other babies, none of whom were going to be adopted by Russian families because of the desperate economic circumstances there.  When I brought her home, she was pale as paper and desperately malnourished.  Although she is now healthy and thriving socially & intellectually, her weight remains under the 5th percentile for her age.  Many people told me that if I had not adopted her, she would either have died in the orphanage there or she would have been turned out on the street at age 16 to try to survive as a prostitute.

So I don't agree with the people who say that we do international adoptees a disservice by bringing them to our country through some sort of elitist co-opting of their culture.  I look at her and shudder when I think what would have happened to my precious daughter.

As far as "our children" and "their children" go, I believe it's dangerously parochial thinking.  We are all God's children.  And I don't think God drew lines on the earth when he created it.

Answer 18

We adopted internationally, we'll probably adopt domestically at some point in the future (older child(ren) from the foster system).

I agree that God sees the world without the man-made borders & we should begin to see things that way, too.  A child in need is a child in need.  People should adopt from the country where they feel a tug at their heart.

Answer 19

Wouldn't you rather take care of your own country first?