Why do some people here think it is helpful to bash other parents when they ask for help?

Question

I asked a question earlier about my three year old throwing fits in stores and I got so many rude remarks. I discipline my child, he is usually a well-behaved child. He is going through a phase of temper tantrums right now, and I was asking for advice. Still, I got the "you have no control over him, he's gonna grow up to be an old lady mugger." We're all parents, we all have the rough moments. You find me one child who is perfect and well-behaved 100% of the time. What is wrong with some people on here?

Answer 1

Unfortunately that's the nature of the beast on a public forum, everyone can and will put in their opinion, regardless of whether or not it's warranted.  I'm not saying it's right, but when the door is open everyone is going to come on through.  Hope things get better with the tantrums, they can be just as hard for parents as they are on the kids.

Answer 2

Maybe instead of being there for their kids, they like to make other people feel like c**p for trying?

Some people on here are sooo rude, but  I guess thats the way soceity is nowadays.

Its not just here but everywhere, you cant do much as a parent without someone judging you in one way or another.

People are rude all over.

Answer 3

All I can tell you is that I feel for you.  My kids were never the type to throw tantrums in the store...and no, they are not perfect and well-behaved 100% of the time.  However, since the tantrums in public were not something I ever had to experience, I have always felt bad for the mothers I have seen having to deal with it.  I can tell you that it would be best for you to immediately take him to the car and tell him that he is not allowed in the store as long as he is behaving in such a manner.  See if you can't find someone to watch him when you need to go shopping.  Kids are creatures of habit and if he thinks this is working for him (whether it's to get something he wants or just get a rise out of you), then he will continue to do it.  Best of luck.

Answer 4

I agree with you 100% some dumb questions on here deserve dumb answers, but some people on here are just rude. I think most people who answer the questions rudely dont have children. If they did they would understand that all children have breakdowns from time to time, in the store, at home or wherever.  It just happens. I think if you dont have children you shouldn't even be answering a question that you cannot relate to ya know?

Answer 5

that's exactly what i tell people.if people are here on y/a to ask it's because they want honest help from experienced people in that particular field if they have no good advice they should move on to something more their level.but as for your child he is going through the terrible 2's,3's,4's etc..usually over a toy or a candy i know it may seem cruel or mean but don't give in as this is their trying time they will wear you out if you let them.also don't just ignore the situation as they will persist until something gives either your temper or your wallet.a child will learn to respect only when your no's are"no"and your yes are"yes" god bless hope that helped. been there i now have a beautiful respectful young lady.

Answer 6

You said it, little lady!!!  My family and I were at the zoo today and when we sat down to eat there was a lady sitting near us with four children.  She was obviously keeping the table until her partner or whoever came with their food. One of her kids started screaming and throwing a fit.  Lord, you would have thought she was a leper!! People were rolling their eyes and looking at her and her children like they had two heads!  When we walked past her, I patted her arm and told her to stay strong. It's unbelievable how unsympathetic people can be, especially when any one of us could be in the exact same situation. I think some people use Y/A to hide behind and make comments to make themselves feel superior.  God knows parenting is hard enough without holier-than-thou people telling you what a horrible job you're doing.  I feel your pain.......

Answer 7

Wow I am so sorry.

I would really like to know why some people on her are so rude. I mean the way I see it if you don't like the question then don't answer it. You dont have to be mean. I have seen this alot on Y.

I think that your son is just testing his limits and it is a phase. I don't know how much help my advise might be, or if you already tried it but here goes.

Maybe explain why you are going to the store. " Mommy has to buy meat for dinner, I can't buy you anything today.OK" Then let him feel imp. say something like," Do you want to help me pick out the meat?" Then make sure you praise him for being a "Big Boy" Big Helper"

May be just  ignore him if possible.

Most of all give him a lot of LOVE and remember he will get over this stage.

Answer 8

Cause some people are self righteous and stupid.  The people who said that to you probably either dont have kids, or dont want to admit their kids do it too.  My son used to throw fits in the store if he didnt get m&ms (when he was 2-3).  I would walk away and hide around the corner and watch him till he quite then come back and tell him to stop and explain why he wasnt getting m&ms.  All kids go through a phase where they want to test their parents to see what they can get away with, they are discovering the world and they are discovering themselves.  After time your kid will realize he or she is not going to get away with it and will move on to something else.

Answer 9

Because they have low self esteem.    Sometimes people put others down so they can feel better about themselves.     In your situation, another answerer may have thought that since their kid never done that (and this of course doesn't mean that their kid didn't have other behavioral issues) then they themselves are the better parents so they ATTACK.   Now they feel better about themselves for thinking they're better at parenting (or so they think).    It's very childish and comes from poor self esteem.

And then there are people who have no children and are just plain clueless.

Answer 10

They are just ignorant. I'm almost 100% positive that they have some faults in their parenting as well. Nobody is perfect not even as a parent, no matter how hard we try. Maybe it makes them feel better to criticize other parents. Don't worry about it though. As long as you know that you are a good mother that should be the only thing that matters.

Good Luck.

Answer 11

Thank you!  I always hate the judgment that some people love to spew.  You're absolutely right.  We're all in the same situation, trying to be the best parent we can be.  Not one of us is a perfect parent.   It's really nice when you receive advice from an understanding person who is able to put themselves in your shoes.  

I think people who throw the judgments need to feel that they are superior parents.  Obviously, though, they are not w/o fault.  They most assuredly yell when they shouldn't and even  gasp....have children who are sometimes less than perfect!

Answer 12

alot of people who answer questions on here are teenagers who don't have babies or children who don't have c**p to do for summer.

but my opinion is that there is nothing wrong with your son he is just going thru a phase jus don't take everything said on your answers to heart. alot of people are also jus trying to push your buttons and get their scores up.

Answer 13

I find people that do junk like this either don't have kids of their own, are bored teenagers that think they have the best advice about kids and have no clue what they are talking about OR they themselves have little hellions for kids and want to cover up by being superior.  

I have a little boy of my own who is 16 months old. He's a well behaved little guy, but even he has his moments that make me wonder who switched him with the monster he turns into.

Take heart, you're not alone in that boat.   I usually remove him from the situation by putting him on a tile square on the floor (if it's not busy in the store)OR you can take your cart to the service desk and ask them to leave it for you while you go to the bathroom. You can then take your child into the bathroom to calm them down appropriately.  After I finish in the store it's usually straight home and a nap because I find when it's my little guy he usually didn't nap enough before going or needs that second little nap and he's tired.  Usually the threat of "do you need to sit in the corner" in a firm voice is enough to make him stop before he goes full blown.

Hang in there. You're not alone and I'm sure your kids are going to grow up just fine.  No one turned into a thug or wild person because of a few childhood tantrums in their life. If that were true we'd all be thugs and killers because goodness knows we've all done it as kids ourselves- whether we want to say so or not.