Why do some people look down on people that have kids out of wedlock?

Question

Was on the bus coming home from work the other day and got a lecture in front of the whole bus from an old witch about how if there is no ring on my finger I should be ashamed of myself!

I say they think it's wrong because it gives them a reason to moan!

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Just want to say that because someone has a baby out of marriage does not mean no contraception was used!

Marriage also doesn't mean the child has a better chance of being brought up with 2 parents as look at the amount of divorces in this world today - I can see why it would have made a difference years ago but generally marriage today doesn't have the same lifespan as marriage then!

Just Because I or someone has a baby but isn't married doesn't mean "they/i want to have a baby with someone I don't want to spend the rest of my life with"

Making assumptions is a horrible thing to do!

Answer 1

They are called stereotypes and like all the other unbearable things we have to tolerate them too. My tip is never to start conversation with them.

Answer 2

I usually don't wear my wedding ring when I'm out with my daughter, who is stay you just didn't wear a ring? Not that is any excuse. People shouldn't judge or lecture anyone, especially a stranger.

The elderly are set in there ways, don't let them (or others) bug you. Someone always something to say to bring down others.

Answer 3

I agree with you.  I'm a married mother, but I certainly don't look down upon those who have children out of wedlock - provided that they have a solid, close relationship, that is.  There is a huge difference between an unmarried couple having a baby after being together for 10 years and getting pregnant as the result of a 2 - week relationship. It's the commitment, not the piece of paper, that matters.

Answer 4

it usually has ALOT to do with religion.. people seem to think that it is their job to judge and make assumptions about EVERYONE, and if you dont beleive what they bleive you are a SINNER.. yah right.. whatever I have a  6mth old son and have been with my fiance for 3 years! we are going to spend our life together no matter what.. a piece of paper wont change it! next time u get a lecture id say: " I TAKE CARE OF MY KIDS THANK U AND A WEDDING RING WONT CHANGE THAT! Maybe u should read your precious bible again and u will see that only GOD CAN JUGDE. so get off my back women go to chruch or somehting:) " thats just me though!!

Answer 5

I totally agree, being married nowadays has less meaning in our society than it ever has. Just because not everyone is married before the child is born means nothing, most people don't follow those old christian standards of family etiquette anymore...and most of us don't belong to any of those religions that dictate that you should be married before children. I'm not married yet, and pregnant with my second child, we're going to marry when the time is right and we feel good and ready. hopefully this spring or next summer.

Answer 6

The person had no right to give you c**p about having kids without being married. I had three kids without being married. To be honest, I know a lot of married women, with kids who don't wear a wedding band. It's none of any one business ! Some one once tried to give the "talk" about not being married. I didn't listen, I just walked away.

Answer 7

You are absolutely correct....um....gold digga....?  

Answer 8

it is my belief that you should get married before having a child because:

1) If you do not have enough confidence in a man to marry him (which can be dissolved fairly easily) why choose him as a father of your child

2)If you not have enough confidence in your relationship to get married then why bring a child into it

3)If you are living as a couple (particularly if you stay at home to raise your family or are not the main breadwinner) then you and your children are financially vulnerable should the relationship break up, as you do not have the legal protection marriage offers.

-if you are unmarried what you pay for is yours, this could mean the house

-if you are unmarried a court is legally unable to consider liability for child maintenance at the same time as any division of assets

-if you are unmarried a court is not able to consider your contribution to the home (& family) when dividing assets

4)Surname difficulties (though deed poll can get around this)

5)Next of kin rights - for your partner and vice versa

6)Inheritance tax and probate generally

These are just a few reasons off the top of my head.

Whilst I believe that you should get married before you have a child I would never seek to abuse/victimise/discriminate against either the parents or children of unmarried parents.

Tell the people who had a go at you to get lost - it is ultimately your choice!

Answer 9

you are 100% correct.

Answer 10

Im glad someone hasn't done that to me as I would flip out. I know someone that is married for 2 years with a child, and no money at all to support this baby. I been with my partner for 7 years and have 2. We may not be married, but its only a piece of paper and are financially able. I love him, he loves me, and we both love our children., Thats all that matters

Answer 11

All we can do is pray that those people stop judging.

I don't condone a baby out of wedlock but obviously it does happen. I think people have a hard time getting off their high horses. Shame on them for judging! For all they know you could have left your ring at home on mistake, like I do sometimes! lol Or your husband could have left you. They dont know and they should'nt judge!

Answer 12

hey if you can afford a baby i wont judge ! lol i just cant stand people who take from the state because there to dumb to use a condom or just think money for there baby will fall from the sky

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 13

I agree with you 100%. However, if you don't want to be judged negatively...you probably shouldn't have named your avatar "the gold digga"...just a thought, not a sermon

Answer 14

those old witches need to keep their opinions to themselves. I personally had 2 children out of wedlock. They have the same father...we have been together for 13.5 years and have a 12.5 year old, an 8.5 year old, and an almost 3 year old. we HAVE been married for almost 8 years. I have not been able to wear my ring for most of 3 of them due to pregnancy and weight gain. I would probably have told that witch...I am married...I just forgot my rings on the sink this morning (they are at the jewelers getting another ROCK put into them). and by the way...who the h**l do you think you are to pass judgment on a perfect stranger?

Answer 15

Just ignore them dear! Although I am married, I never judge people that don't feel comfortable with the idea. However, have you considered that the fact that it bothers you so much may mean that it bothers you also not being married? If not, you can always reply to these people that you just lost your ring...

Answer 16

haha yeah no kidding, like there conception method is any cleaner..pfft

Answer 17

It's a combination of ignorance and "that would never happen to me" mentality.