Why do some people resort to international adoptions?

Question

Don't get me wrong. I know that there are LOTS of children around the world who need good homes and I am glad that there are families who are willing and able to take them in. However, I have noticed that a lot of American couples make it a point to adopt children from other countries. Why is that? After all, there are plenty of children here in the US who also need good homes. (This is especially true of older children and minorities.)

Answer 1

Umm... does it really matter? I was adopted internationally... As long as the child is getting a good home I don't really think it matters. Race, creed, beliefs, nationality... it doesn't matter.

Celebrities do it for media attention. Other people do it because they want to give a child a better home.

Answer 2

I am adopted - I am Korean and my parents are white so I think I have a unique perspective on this.  I think it's a very personal decision that no one should judge one way or the other.  Yes, there are plenty of children in America that need to be adopted but the process is often much longer and filled with more uncertainties.  In America,it's more common to have open adoptions or partially open - which means the birth mother will always have a place in the child's life - can contact him/her, ect.  To some adoptive parents, that idea is very scary.  It can be a great situation but it's scary to think of a birth mom one day tracking you down and wanting to take the child back.  Do you remember the big court case that happened in America in the 80's?  The child was adopted by this wonderful, loving family - they had the child for like 8 years or something - a long time to bond as a family.  Then, one day, the birth father (who had never given up his rights) steps in and is able to claim the child.  The courts in this country highly favor birth parents even if that decision is not in the best interest of the child.  There is no telling how much it scarred that poor child for life to be torn from the only family he had ever known!!!  So, some people live in fear of something like that happening which is much less likely in overseas adoptions.

Some people look overseas because they just feel like that's what God wants them to do, which was the case for my parents.  Either way, I hope that people won't judge others for such a personal decision.  I used to work with a lady who was going to adopt from overseas and another co-worker just berrated her!  It was horrible.  She told her what a horrible person she was for not adopting domestically.  I thought that was awful.  This poor lady had already been through several miscarriages and the trauma of learning she could never have biological children - the last thing she needed was for people to judge her.

Answer 3

because the orphanages in china and other places are WAY overcrowded

i was an orphan in china and was adopted.

Answer 4

I really don't think adoption or children are the right place to bring in patriotism. Nor race. Interracial adoptions have worked out quite well, so I don't see how it's a problem.

Besides, I'd rather not wait for an unknown period of time while going through the emotional roller-coaster of mother accepting or rejecting me as the adoptive mother for her child. Also, I know my limitations and I know I can't handle an older child or a child with FAS or other special needs. I'd rather work within my limit and focus on being a good mom to a child I can handle (a young, more or less healthy child).

Answer 5

My wife and I adopted a little boy from Guatemala, and brought him home a little over 16 months ago, when he was 5 months old.  We tried having children biologically, were told by doctors the odds were very low, so we decided to adopt.

We both have Multiple Sclerosis.  Most countries, including our own (the US), view MS as fatal, which it is NOT.  For that reason we were limited where we could adopt, including domestically.  Guatemala gave us the okay.

Our son is doing well, loving life here with his Mommy and Daddy.  We truly believe God wanted us to be his parents, he was just born in a country far from here....

Answer 6

International adoptions are typically finalized before you travel or before you return to the US.  This is comforting to a lot of familes that are afraid of their adoption falling thru.  

It's true, too.  We adopted internationally in 2003.  It took 6 months.  We spent 2 years trying to complete an adoption from foster care.  After 3 failures and considering more than 50 kids, we gave up.  Race & age were not issues.  It just didn't work...maybe again when our kids are older.

Adoption offers alot of different things for people.  Some are pulled toward international, some open adoption, some from foster care, etc.  I just don't see the reason to fault anyone  for choosing one over the other.  All of the kids need homes.  

Plus, internationally adopted children are usually a bit older.  I have heard many times that someone did not adopt internationally because they wanted a newborn.  Everyone has different things that push their buttons.

Answer 7

Because our system is way too bogged down with paperwork and overworked social workers who don't have time to do anything.  The process really needs to be streamlined and parents screened differently.  I have heard of too many cases where the ones that should have become parents don't for some dumb little reason and the ones who have psychological issues that end up making them kill their adoptive child get them(happened here in MI).  The whole social and judicial system here in the states- no, make that the whole Social system here in the US is slow and crappy.  That's why more people don't adopt from here.  Wish there was something more we could do to change that!

Answer 8

I agree that there are many children in the US that need to be adopted.  But I also believe that ALL children, regarding of nationality deserve a loving home and family.  

The reason that many people adopt outside of the US is that our government does not offer enough support to adoptive parents.  Many people worry that a biological family will change their minds after the child is born, and since there is no guarantee with adoption, all of the thousands of dollars spent to that point are gone.  By adopting internationally, since the children are already "cleared" for adoption, you are almost guaranteed a child if approved.

Another reason people adopt internationally is that there is a fear that the biological parents will try to "find" the child later down the road (before they are 18).  Again, with international adoptions, this is not a major concern.

Hope that helps a bit.

Good luck to you if you are considering adoption.

Answer 9

Well with what I have seen there is a huge problem here in the USA with getting a child. See the standards here are much much higher then from another country to adopt. I do know from what a friends of mine had to go through to get a child from the USA. See here there are laws that can make it to where the parents to be have to wait how ever long the state laws are to really say that the child is theirs. Then we all cant forget about g*y couples. Its hard to become a parent through adoption cause of being g*y. My cousin in law is g*y and he had adopted two kids that are crack babies. They have so many health issues and it was one of the fastest ways to get children for him and his partner. You also have to look at the fact that once a child has left the country it will be even harder to find the child so it will be a even better chance for the adopting parents to keep the child. You must have to really be in the family's shoes to really understand that waiting up to 5 years for a child in the USA to the 1 year wait from another country is going to be the easy way. Us amaricans normally take the fast route to everything. If I had to adopt then I rather wait for a child from here then another country cause of the bigger chance of knowing who the real parents are later in the childs life. I really hope you get the answer you need from other people here cause I know that it is a important issue with allot of couple g*y or straight.

Answer 10

I live in Canada but I think the situation for domestic vs. international adoption is comparable. When I decided to adopt (as a single woman) I approached my local Children's Aid Society. I was open to a girl or boy under 6, and race is not important to me, but when I expressed reservations about adopting a child who had been pre-natally exposed to drugs and alcohol, I was told that it could be a very long wait (years) or that I might never receive a proposal.  Wanting very much to be a parent, and having the financial resources to pursue international adoption, I decided this was the best option for me. I have recently received a proposal for a healthy, happy little boy from South America and I hope to bring him home by the end of the summer.  

Adoption is a very personal decision and you have to do your homework and be honest with yourself about what you can handle. I became quite knowledgeable about fetal alcohol syndrome, as well as the effects of abuse, neglect and many other issues facing children in the care of child welfare agencies. I felt that I would not cope well with many of these challenges. I bless those families who adopt special-needs kids because their situations and histories are heartbreaking. But it's better to be honest up front rather than undertake an adoption you can't cope with.  

International adoption is expensive ($15-$40K depending on the country) and can take a long time (it will be over 2 years by the time I get home with my little guy), but I know in my heart it was the right choice for me.

Answer 11

Because the adoptive children in asian countries are usually from orphanages, they don't have a primary care giver, the orphanage have the sole power to give those children away.  While in America, it's " beggers can't be choosers" for the adoptive parents.

Answer 12

A perfect example is the the question titled Fear analysis?. I do not mean this disrespectfully or in an ugly way. They are entitled to place whatever expectaions they want on the family they chose to parent their unborn child.  With that said the requirements this birth family is looking for rules out a lot of people who would love to parent this child. While there are Asian families looking to adopt the numbers are much smaller. Often times there is one parent that works and makes an excellent living and the other may not have a degree and stays home which is important too.

The number one reason most families adopt internationally is that they do not want to wait to be "picked" by a birth family. Most people adopting want an infant and there is nothing wrong with that despite what others who have never adopted think. Getting an infant in the US is hit or miss at best. It's about selling yourself as the best possible choice to the most birth families possible in hopes that one of them thinks you are the right family for their child.

Again, I do not mean this to be ugly towards the person posting the "Fear analysis?" question but is a timely example of why so many families look international.

Answer 13

I think for a lot of couples they couldn't deal with the rejection. If i were to get a baby and then the birth mother were to change her mind, I don't know what I would do. You already feel like that child is yours and then someone is going to take it away from you. When you adopt from other countries it's pretty much certain that you get to keep that child. They don't have as many rights in other countries as they do here. Plus you can put a time line on the international ones where as here you could be waiting for years and years or if you're lucky get one right away. There is more certainty in an international adoption.

Answer 14

Adoption in the United States is not as easy as you might think.  Many of the children in the foster care system are actually not available for adoption.  In most cases, the goal of the social services administration is to re-place these children in their birth families once the problems have been worked out.   Even when parental rights are terminated, you have an ongoing issue with the involvement of birth parents and siblings.  And most of the children who are free for adoption have been in the system for quite a while, and have MANY problems as a result.  Speaking for myself, I have adopted three children from China - one as an infant, and two others at older ages (four years old and ten years old at the time of adoption).  They had been in orphanages, but were mentally and physically healthy.  And each adoption took ten months or less.  This would not have been the case if I had attempted to adopt in the United States.

Answer 15

because to adopt a child in the US takes a lot of papers!

it takes like two years til the child is given to you and they will ask you for a lot of things!

adopting a child in other countries is easier because those children out there are needing food not like the US kids.

Other countries have other rules and is easier to adopt the child out there.

Answer 16

Many feel that even children in foster homes here in the US have it much, much better than children in orphanages or in the streets in many other countries...so feel they should adopt where the needs are greatest.

US foster children have medical care, shelter and food, educational opportunities, etc. while this is not true of orphans or children whose parents can't raise them elsewhere. Many children in Guatemala, for one example, actually live at the dump, surviving on whatever food and shelter materials they can pick out of the garbage.

Girls that age out of orphanages in China are often put on the streets to live as beggars or prostitutes.

These are just a few examples.

Also, contrary to popular belief, it is not easier to adopt Internationally nor does it require less paperwork. The requirements are the same here, as far as a homestudy with background check is required, and with International you have the added immigration processes as well as the foreign country's laws and processes and requirements. It is a very complicated and involved process, however it is a bit more predictable than a domestic newborn adoption, since the children are already cleared by their country to be placed internationally.

Answer 17

As an adoptive mother of a beautiful 9 year daughter who happens to come from China, I can't agree with your views on foreign adoption.

Yes, I think that there are a lot of children that need to be adopted here.  Myself, I just felt "drawn" to China.  My daughter was waiting for me.

As long as we have judges that will return children to biological mothers after a few years just because of DNA, I have a problem with that. Yes, I know it is few and far between, but frankly I did not want to take that chance. My daughter was mine from the moment I held her. I would have had an easier time cutting off my arm than giving her back. I have a friend that just had to give her foster child back to its drug-addicted mother. She wanted to adopt this child and had had it since birth.

Also, after my international travel, I can honestly say that while our orphanages and foster care is not perfect, the type of poverty that you see over in some of these countries is totally different. Orphanages full of children with insects crawling over them, widespread Aids, lack of running water and facilities. Children lying listless and dirty in cribs with no stimulation. It is heartbreaking.

There is a lack of social services and the type of poverty that Americans can't even dream up. We think we are poor if our house only has one bathroom or if we only have one family car. It's usually not a choice of whether our children can eat or not.  We run up trillions of dollars of credit card debt in this country to buy things we can't afford to keep up with this idea of what Americans are supposed to live like.  Let's face it- A lot of us don't know what real poverty is.  

I know a lot of this is because of the government treatment of their people and other social issues, but as a human being not as an American I don't think any child should be denied a chance for a better life and for loving parents.

Answer 18

The short answer is: they want a healthy, defect-free baby that looks like them; and there's a long waiting list in America for healthy white babies...

Answer 19

I'm having trouble seeing what difference it makes. There are children all over the world who need homes. Why put borders on this situation? Why is it "us" and "them" situation. I don't see it like that at all. I just see children who need homes. Many times a person is pulled in a certain direction for no definable reason. They follow that pull. I never thought I'd adopt internationally but I want to very much. I have three healthy boys of my own but out of nowhere I suddenly had this feeling I should adopt. I want to open my home to more children who would otherwise not have homes. For whatever reason I feel that I should adopt from another country. There is something pulling me in that direction. Will it all come to pass? I have no idea. But for now I'm following this sudden pull. I really do not understand why anyone would judge another person for providing a home for a child who needs one. I also do not understand how it is anyone's business. We've sure become a society of knitpickers. We seem to condemn everyone--even those with only good intentions in their hearts. How very sad.

Answer 20

Every family must make the best decision for them and for the children they might already have. It might not be wise or safe to adopt an older child with problems, this might be too much for a family who has younger children to think about. Our country makes it harder to adopt babies, and the birthmother can change her mind or want an open adoption. Familys shouldnt be guilted into adopting the harder to place children if they cant take that challenge on. My heart does break for them, but I must protect my own first. Our system is so flawed, they keep children in the system too long, to make money off them I do not know, but by the time someone gets them they are so traumatized, and they claim the children have anger problems or attachment problems, or emotional problems. Of course they do, probably caused by the system. At least other countries try finding homes quickly so the children can adjust to their new family. We cannot fix the problem here, its a generation problem. I read that African American children our adopted last, thats sad, I dont know why really, they are beautiful too, and I was blessed to go to school with many of them. Coming from a big family, I fealt I could relate to them more, we shared a lot of the same good moral upbringing. God does command us to love and help the fatherless, and He said if we receive an orphan, we have received Him, he didnt say what nationality, they are all Gods children, so if another one gets a home, then what is the problem?

Answer 21

My fiance and I have had many long discussions about this.  We want another child and have to use either a surrogate or adoption.  She is against domestic adoption due to a family member-the girl was adopted from a teenage drug addicted mother.  Sure enough the girl is 18 and would have two children had she waited enough time between pregnancies for the second one not to miscarry.

Many people just chalk it up to breeding-you do have to admit that most of the adoptable children in this country are not from the best parents.

If you go overseas you have a better chance (especially when going with an Asian girl) of getting a child of affluent intelligent parents who chose to give their child away so she could have a better life.

I disagree and would be happy to have a little American child.  I dont understand how people can possibly think that there is anything programmed into a person that says 'be a deadbeat.'  If you raise the child properly for them (each childis difference of course), there will not be a problem.

Answer 22

Well, I can't speak for everyone, but it's not as easy to adopt in this country as you might think.  Our friends just adopted a baby overseas because they had 3 failed attempts to adopt in this country.  The first, mom changed her mind after they brought the baby home.  The second, mom changed her mind about a week before she delivered, and with the third, they had the baby home for almost 2 weeks and the birth FATHER came forward and contested the adoption.  When they adopted overseas, they knew they had their baby for good when they got home.

Answer 23

Children from other countries are easy to adopt......but check your own source on the net