Why do some people say that having an affair strengthened their marriage?

Question

You might learn from it and avoid it in the future but something major like an affair never strengthens a marriage, it weakens it greatly. It's much better to avoid this ever happening.

It's like saying abortion is a cherished right. The word cherish and abortion just do not go together so the word affair and strengthen do not go together.

Answer 1

I agree. People who say that an affair strengthened their marriage have a twisted concept of marriage. I'd avoid these kinds of people at all costs

Answer 2

Because they are fools unwilling to let go of all the time "invested" in a bad marriage.

Answer 3

Those people who think an affair can strengthen a marriage are seriously deluding themselves. Trust is the most important part of a relationship and when that is gone, the relationship will never be the same.

Answer 4

Having been married, I can say that it is a unique possibility to strengthen your marriage in a rare case -- it can provide an opportunity that if your spouse really is truly regretful and sorrowful for the affair, that you can show how deep your love is for them - by sacrificing your deep pain and hurt and by accepting them as someone with faults and failures. Then you can reconcile and grow closer - the spouse knowing your  true love for them and what you have done for them.

Most cases, unfortunately, the affair weakens the marriage because it is devastating. We invest our time and trust and our heart in someone who betrays us. It changes everything. I just want someone in my life that I can trust, who gives me in return the faithfulness that I give them.  Good question.

Answer 5

Because they're sick and twisted and have no idea what real marriage is. I wouldn't let perverts  like that within 30 yards of my kids.

Answer 6

Wow, I don't even want to know the kind of people who would claim that an affair strengthened their marriage.

Answer 7

While I think they may have been brought closer because they went through a struggle together, the cheating greatly reduces the level of trust.  In my mind the level of trust being broken far out weighs being brought together.  If you want have a closer relationship spend time with your partner...not someone else.

I completely agree with you, it is never a good thing.

Answer 8

Sometimes it takes something really catastrophic (like an affair) to make you appreciate what you have and how valuable it is.  What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and working through the aftermath of an affair will bring a couple closer together if it doesn't tear them apart.

Answer 9

This is purely an "ego defense mechanism."  It's a way for the couple to get past the untoward event with the delusion that it was a beneficial experience; and this delusion seems to "preserve" the "sanctity" of the marriage.  

There is no benefit to marital infidelity.  This is pop-psychology nonsense.  When the issue of marital infidelity comes up, it should immediately be followed by divorce (assuming that there is an iron-clad prenup a priori to protect the male against, the de facto, legal injustices that post-modern feminism has so brilliantly advanced in the Western world).

Answer 10

because they can play the field ands still come home