Why do some people say you can't tell what your sexual orientation is before you try it?

Question

I have this "friend" who says I should go out with that guy because I have no way to know if I like guys or girls cause I've never been with either. I just KNOW I like girls very much, and guys dont do anything for me...

Why do some people think that?

Answer 1

you re already attracted to girls, so i guess you already know your sexual orientation

Answer 2

Because, for people who said that, they sexual play didn't work out, when they did it! lol.. and they realised thats not their orientation..

  

Answer 3

It's because they don't know what's going through our minds, I think.

We'll do what we want, thankyou very much.

Answer 4

Why don't you tell her to go out with a girl before she passes judgment on you? If you cannot know before you have tried it, then surely she cannot either, right..? How can she be so sure that she isn't attracted to girls, when she has probably never given it a shot?!

See, the argument works both ways. And it is a total fallacy!

Of course you can know what you want, even if you are inexperienced. I know first hand.. I realized that I was a L*****n long before I had even done as much as to kiss a girl, let alone sleep with one. Turns out, I was 100 % right. Just like I supected.. Straight kids also say they knew about their sexual orientation from early on. Why does nobody question them?! Slightly hypocritical if you ask me.

Answer 5

For many people, that is the truth.  But not for all

Some people are lucky enough to know decisively which orientation is right for them - it sounds like you're in this category

However, for others they can only make a decision after they have experienced both and decided which they prefer.  And of course, some people never decide

Answer 6

This is not true.

You said it yourself, you already know what it is that you like. Do what you want, tell her to mind her own business when it comes to your orientation.

Answer 7

yeah those people who say that are g*y...

i'm straight i like men

i have been with a woman... long story involving lots of booze lol

but i didn't need that to know my sexual orientation  

Answer 8

My girlfriend is really butch, she knew when she had a crush on her kinder-garden teacher!

Answer 9

Because they're bigoted morons.  Are they suggesting they didn't know they were straight until they tried s*x with a member of their own gender and decided they didn't like it?  

Geesh, I'm sick to death of these fools who claim "you can't know you're g*y if you haven't tried dating/s*x with someone of the opposite s*x" or "it's just a phase" or some other such nonsense.  They need to get their heads out of their backsides and realize we know who and what we are just as much as they did--maybe better .

Answer 10

If you know you're into women, you don't need to experiment with men just to make sure. If your mind tells you you like women, then that's it :)

I have never done anything sexually with a guy because I've always known I'm a L*****n. I didn't "check" by doing anything with a male to make sure I was g*y - I just knew I was.

If you know you like girls, stick to girls, forget what your friend says :)

Answer 11

I don't think you need to try it out to know. Sure it helps but you seem sure on what you've got set for yourself. There are some people out there that think you need to have s*x with a person to know for sure.

I believe that others opinions shouldn't change what you believe in.

Answer 12

Your situation is exactly why I think it is best to have definitions for words. Many people in Answers feel it is a "mistake" and "limiting" that we "define terms", and that the LGBT community should be "fluid", and I disagree, especially in your case.

Homosexuality (in medical definitions) is defined as the sexual ATTRACTION for the same s*x, nothing more. It did not say that you had to "try it out" to know "who you are" - in other words, have actual sexual contact - all that is needed is the realization that you have a sexual attraction for someone of the same s*x, to define yourself as "homosexual".

It also isn't in the "number" (some people think that just because they are attracted to only one guy or one girl, it does not make them g*y), it's whether that attraction exists or not, period. Whether one is, in colloquial terms, a prude or a s**t does not bear on whether one is g*y or not, period.

And if you are attracted to both sexes, then you are defined as bisexual. (Honestly, I don't know why some people here are so afraid of labels - my gut reaction is that they want to sleep around and want to avoid having to explain themselves, so they desist labels and say they are "open minded", that's why they resist conventional definitions. Sounds like a lengthy way to escape the truth.)

Tell your "friend" experience is not needed to have those feelings of sexual attraction. That's all there is to it - you are absolutely right in saying that even if you had no "experience", you know to whom your attractions are directed to. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.

Answer 13

Gosh, people are so stupid. Just tell your friend, "Well, how do you know you don't like girls if you've never been out with one?" Tell her to grow up. She needs to learn a thing or two.