Why do some people spend a lot of time complaining about how awful their exes are?

Question

I mean, you used to date/be married to that person, and you CHOSE to do that.

If that person has all of those bad qualities, it is also a reflection on YOU, for choosing to be with a person who has those qualities.

Furthermore, it is very unattractive to hear someone whine about how awful men/how awful women are. Then they gripe about why they can't find a decent guy/gal. Maybe they are hiding from you.

Why are these whiny types oblivious to that?

Answer 1

yeah i dont know, they are miserable

they want to be "the victim" and make excuses for their own shortcomings in life by blaming it on other people

Answer 2

just to give themselves excuses for why they left them..and to not to regret it

Answer 3

Because they have been hurt so much that they don't realize wat they r saying, and that person dat they were wit probly didn't listen to anything they had to say so they let it out on the next person to come along.

Answer 4

They talk about them 'cause they are hurt...maybe still love them. I'm divorced and know that my ex has it in for me...I wish her well...her and my half a million dollars...(that's got to help make her happy)...

Answer 5

because they are full of hate and blinded by it

Answer 6

Because they are looking for sympathy and reassurance

Answer 7

Love and Hate are the same emotion, just reversed

Answer 8

I don't think people choose to find the wrong person, i think they fall victim to people that pretend to be one way. but really aren't. But by the time the figure it out, they already have fell in love with the fake side of the person.

I think people complain mainly because they just can't see how somebody they loved did them wrong and they haven't gotten over it.

Answer 9

Why? Because these EX's wrecked these people's lives.... they turned it upside down when they trusted that person and gave them their all only to find out they were not worth it!

That's why...  

Answer 10

Because they're just hateful

Answer 11

When you figure that one out, please clue me in because I don't get it either.  My ex and I have been divorced for 7 years.  The first year was a little rocky but even then we didn't speak negatively of one another to others.  We kept it between ourselves.

There are very few cases where one party can be held wholly responsible for the demise of a marriage.  Even in cases involving an affair, there is usually some underlying marital problem. I have a theory that people just don't want to accept responsibility for the part that they played in the marriage ultimately leading to divorce.  I think it makes people feel better about themselves to throw the blame off on the other person.  I think they honestly believe they're making themselves look better by knocking their former spouse.

Answer 12

because there is a very tiny thin line between love and hate.  and i would think they complain, because of the reasons that you stated.  from a woman's point of view we want to change his bad habits when we can't we just complain about them.  when the one and only person that you put your heart in their hands and then they drop kick it, it hurts and once the hurt is done, there is only anger.

Answer 13

That's why they had broke their relationship with that girl.

Because their awful. but they should have pity for that girl. They just want to let people know that their exes is like that and like this. But by complaining about how awful their exes are, they wouldn't get anything at all. People don't have anything to do with that person anyway. The reason why they can't find a decent girl/boy is because they don't know how. Choosing the right person to love is a hard thing. You should know what's the problems of your girl/boy so you could suggest things so it wouldn't get worse. And if your heart is really for him, then he is the one for you all along.