Why do some people think its so easy to report a rape?

Question

especially if the attacker is someone you know? i was raped by a closed friend.. it took me a while before i can gather and think about what happen. i asked a question before but all i got was remark from people that i am stupid enough not to report him immediately..

its not that simple.. i cant handle being poked again by some unknown people being interogated again and again.. its emotionally exhausting... i just feel that my attacker can twist and turn the story because i had some feelings (was a bit obessed with him) a long time ago..

why some people just dont understand...

Answer 1

it is not easy to report a rape i agree there is alot to consider in reporting a rape.  I chose not to report mostly because my attakers were threatening me and i was young and beleived them.

TO the guy who compared paternaty fraud to a rape----grow up!

Answer 2

I know someone that got raped for many years and i just found out. I asked he why she never reported him or why she doesn't now. I guess it was when she was younger and after about 10 years you can report it anymore. I felt really bad. I know she was emotionally exhausting as well and also how hard it is for her to trust people now. Doctors know what to look for when people do this to you. It may be hard at first but you just need to believe in yourself and do what is going to help you in the long run. I  Good Luck!

Answer 3

Perhaps if you took the time to articulate who these 'some people' are miss, I could explain the psychology of it..

Answer 4

Either you were raped or not.  If you were, report it.  Sure, you're getting examined and questioned.  Only this time it's people who are helping you and society.

Justice says report it.

Personal morality says report it.  (because it'll just happen again to you or even someone else if you don't)

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Why do some people think its so easy to report a rape?  Because it is.

One can make excuses not to do something all day long.  But, where does that get you?  Nowhere.

Answer 5

I'm sorry you had a bad experience here, especially after having gone through such a terrible ordeal.

Most people don't understand what a harrowing experience it is, to report an incident of rape. They have absolutely no idea what the process involves, and many people base their knowledge on TV shows such as SVU.

Most people don't understand that rape is the only crime where the victim has to prove her innocence. That in itself, often makes many women decide not to report it.

We live in a society where if a woman wears "provocative" clothing, or was walking alone in a dimly lit street, she was "asking to be raped". Somehow, the rapist is considered innocent, and the person raped is considered guilty. Why would a woman  feel encouraged to report the crime, when she knows that even if her case goes to trial, that many people (including the jury), will perceive her to have "asked to be raped"?

Many people don't understand these things, unless their wife, mother, sister or friend goes through it.

Note: I appreciate that men are also raped, but for the purpose of this question, I have used her/she etc. I am in no way suggesting that it doesn't also happen to men/boys.

Edit - Kris, 95% eh? Got any reputable links to your utter BS?

Edit 2 - Looks like I'll be waiting a while for this reputable link, but if you return, since you are so acquainted with legislation (whether or not it pertains to rape and sexual assault), perhaps you could share with me other crimes where the victim must prove their innocence, rather than the other way around. Surely you're aware that lawyers for the defendant often rely on attempting to paint the witness (rape victim/survivor) to not appear credible. They will do that by dredging up her sexual past, her sexual habits, whether or not she had been drinking, what she was wearing, why she was where she was at the time of the assault etc etc etc. But in terms of the defendants past, it is not admissible to communicate with the jury whether or not the defendant has a history of past sexual crimes.

Now tell me; can you think of any other crimes where the victim has to prove her innocence like that?

Answer 6

You need to do what is right for you. I have never been in your situation so I do not have any good advice.

Answer 7

For some, the entire legal process can be even more traumatising than the rape itself.  And then there is the fact that only 10% of those cases that reach the courts end in conviction.

I was raped.  I chose not to press charges as I didn't feel I had enough evidence to get a conviction, and I also didn't want to have to relive it another 1000 times in front of people, mostly strangers.  Defence lawyers cross-examine the victim in an effort to make them out as a liar, or a sl*t- it is a direct, personal attack on the victim.  I simply didn't want to go through that.

Answer 8

because people dont understand mental difficulties, just look at the reactions to people with depression or schizphrenia.

that and people are idiots im with houes on that one.

Answer 9

they don't understand cause they don't want to and they haven't had the experience of being assaulted and then dealing with a system that puts the victim on trial.

Answer 10

Because they're not in your shoes. Rape is more complicated than people think.  Most people don't talk about it for years and years and years.  By the time they do open up about it, it's too late to report someone because there is no proof.

I'm sorry it happened to you, but there are some supportive people on yahoo about rape. If you want to talk next time, try to specify professionals or other rape victims to answer your question instead.

Try to get counseling if you can, because it works.  Just hearing other people that understand your experience or go through what you have gone through helps a lot!

Good luck.

VoiceofReality-I hope you realize that a lot of people don't want to report being raped by family members or friends.  This isn't about reporting rape from a stranger on the street.  

She's right that her attacker can twist the story, if she had some previous feelings for him. That doesn't give him the right to rape her though.

Answer 11

I understand how hard it is and that the longer you wait the less likely your success will be if you press charges.  Even under the best circumstances you have a difficult case to prove, but even if you press charges and lose, you may cause him to change his predatory behavior.  I can certainly understand if you just try to heal yourself, but that would really only encourage his behavior.

Answer 12

It is absolutely one of the hardest things I have ever done.  I was raped in a different state than my home..  I first had to turn the person in. Then spend about 5 hours in an emergency room in the hospital getting test after test done.... and then another 5 hours at the rape crisis center getting more tests done..... then off to the police station.  I had to document everything a thousand times... I also had to coordinate between two sets of police from both states who both had different laws... And then although I had physical evidence of rape, they told me I had to someone get the guy on the phone that did it and get him to ADMIT he did...... I attempted this for several weeks however what person is going to admit something like that.  To say the least, because i couldn't get that done, my case was dropped and the man was set free, and at that point I didn't even care what happened... I was so frustrated with the whole process.  I just wanted space.

Answer 13

I don't know anybody who has ever said that it's easy. It's not, but it is necessary.

Answer 14

the reason it is needed is because well over half of all reported rapes are Lie's. In country's like the UK it is some where around 95% in the USA around 40%.

              Just a case of one too many "boy crys wolf" when the wolf comes people are less willing to belive so they need more evidence.

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TO the one who said rape is the only crime where the victim has to prove there innocence lmaolmao research paternity fraud.

     But the reason rape is so hard to prove and there is an air of disbelief is because the vast majority of rape allegations are merely false accusations.

Answer 15

Because many people are self centered and can not put themselves in another person's situation or feel any empathy. These people are close minded and sheltered from the world. Anyone who has said that to you obviously has not been in a situation anything like yours. I've had people make remarks like that to me (although about a less serious situation) and its because they have no experiance with it and no empathy. Ignore them, they are just ignorant...