Why do some "happy" adoptees seem so angry?

Question

I am not asking this to bait at all. Really. It just seems odd to me that the people who claim to have no adoption issues are the ones calling everyone else "a**lickers" (ewww) and trolls and telling people to jump off cliffs and get a life and whatnot.

If these people are so happy then why are they always getting so angry all the time?

Answer 1

Perhaps it's because this forum seems to invalidate their comments and thrash them for trying to learn more, using some lame excuses for their rude remarks. Hmmmm....

Answer 2

I think they just say they're happy. If the person/people you're talking about tells others all that c**p, yet still say they're happy, that's just a little crazy.

And adoptees? I dunno why you singled them out, but I'm sure there's many more kinds of people that do that as well.

Answer 3

I think that many of the people here get labeled as "angry" because they are responding in defensive mode to an attack they received or felt they received.

I know that in one question recently, I went on a rampage because of a question that used my answer and I felt in an attempt to make me look like a bad person.  I spoke to the asker thru email and realized that it was not intended that way and went back and revised my answer.  However, I had just had enough that day with the personal attacks and emails that I flipped.  I think the same holds true for everyone here.  The only problem is that many of the people here hold grudges too - so that this wonderful anger just gets larger & larger & larger until one gets fed up and leaves.  And sadly, this category has lost some very experienced and knowledgable people recently.

Answer 4

They have probably just had stressful lives:( I dont know, maybe anger managment would do some good.

Answer 5

Sarahhhhhhhhhh just thinks it is funny to insult everyone on this site who say they have issues with their adoption. she is awful because she just told an adoptee who said they had issues to go kill themselves. BUT when you insult her or are rude to her, she goes crying about the insults. DISGUSTING.

Answer 6

I guess I’m a happy adoptee. I don’t feel I have ever shown any anger on this form.

However I can understand a little why some might. It seems many time us adoptees who are happy and content with our adoption, have very few to no issues over it.  Well there are some of you and I’m not saying all who say that we are in denial, that we have not come out of the fog.   Even putting happy in quotations isn’t that pretty much like say sure their not truly happy.  Sure there might be some happy adoptees who are truly not happy deep deep down, however certainly not all content adoptees fall in that category.

I also think some people take things to personnel, this is the internet I don’t care if someone on here  feels I’m in denial, They  don’t personnel know me and likely never will. I know my own truth  and that’s all that matters.

Answer 7

If we are all here to learn from each other and educate each other, then why the need to disgusting language and calling each other names.   Adoption is filled with heated arguments but we don't need result to below the belt tactics.

Answer 8

This is my first week on this site & where there are some really interesting topics in this section I feel that these same questions regardless of which 'side' (the happy adoptees or not so happy adoptees)  is asking about the 'other side' it is taking up a lot of space.

Seriously, I know I'm the new booty here but what the f' is up with this?  Okay so most of us are adoptees that is one thing we have in common.  I'm one of those 'content' adoptees now but I was once an 'angry' one...so which ever one you may represent should be just fine.  We're not all going to agree as that's a given but c'mon people.  

You can't expect respect if you don't show it first.  It's okay to completely disagree or not understand another's view point on your adoption experience.  Where we may all be adopted we each have our own unique circumstances...some more positive than others. Just because I've gotten to a place in my life that I can have a more positive outlook on it doesn't mean everybody else has.  If you're one that hasn't gotten to that point in your life where you can be 'happy' don't hate on those that have. Reality is life can suck big d**k sometimes...now what are you gonna do with it?

Edited to add:  "happy" adoptees can be happy about their personal experience yet at the same time it doesn't mean we can't have aggression issues or be upset at something else. I'm not upset at my issue rather than some of the ignorant posts I see between individuals.

Answer 9

maybe because they cant have there own children and its stressfull to think that there children will not love them

Answer 10

I would count myself among the "happy" adoptees, but really that's a misleading category.  There are plenty of adoptees on this forum who are considered "angry" just because they express anger at the adoption SYSTEM....it doesn't mean they are unhappy people in general.  They are just unhappy with certain things about adoption.  To me, there are many categories of people on here, not just "happy" or "angry" adoptees.  

I don't have a problem with anyone on this site UNTIL they tell me how I should feel or try to invalidate my experience just because they have a different opinion.  To me, that's just rude & ignorant.....and really ironic given the fact that many who do that are constantly complaining about everyone ELSE invalidating THEIR experiences or feelings.  So....here's a novel idea....why not let everyone just have their own d**n opinion without attacking people if they don't happen to agree with you or see adoption in the same way as you?  Yes, that part of this forum makes me angry when I see someone else trampling over someone because they don't happen to agree.  Does that make me an angry person?  No.  It means I'm the kind of person who has no time or patience for people who don't treat others with kindness & a cerain level of decency.  Does that negate my happy adoptee status?  No, I certainly hope not.  I count myself as a very happy, stable adoptee who has had a great experience with adoption but who happens to get angry every now & then at the incredible behavior I've witnessed on this forum.  To me, I don't think that makes me an angry person.  It makes me a person who is human.

Answer 11

Its simple, they can't connect to their natural parents, which is a naturality of human nature, they need a hobby to appreciate...

Answer 12

You're a cat

Answer 13

show me where I have ever said this-  I would never tell anyone that had a bad experience to get a life - I actually feel sorry for those who have not had the happy experience that i have had- what makes me angry is when people tell me I am arrogant because I have had a good experience.

Answer 14

LMAOOOOOOOOOO not baiting? much? lmaooooo mmmm u got that quote asslickers from me!! Yeh am a celeb again lmaooooooo *falling off chair in fits of laughter* So now your telling or assuming that I have issues then? oooohhhh mature much. My issues are as follows

Money(quite normal)

Kids(if they are settling in at school)

My pregnancy(making sure everything is ok)

Just normal life worries!!

There u go, I'm like everyone else. I have life issues not adoption issues!

I am not angry, just angry at those who are taling me I must have some little issues somewhere about my adoption. I DONT!!!! get it???????

Answer 15

Have you heard of a man named Jack Kevorkian? Before his death he did excellent work for people in your situation.

Answer 16

It's no concern of mine who has issues and who doesn't.  I have a good, fulfilling life.  I'd just like the same rights as the non-adopted.  If that gets me tagged as a "malcontent" then so be it.  I'm in good company, such as women who wanted the vote and blacks who didn't want to sit in the back of the bus.  I have my dignity and would like the state to recognize that.

Answer 17

Can't we all just  get along?

Answer 18

people might seem happy on the outsie but on the inside they can be filled with anger whether is somthing from childhood or school or somthing.

Answer 19

I wouldn't blame this behavior on ALL adoptees this seems like a personal trait or issue they have within themselves. I don't believe adoptees are angry.

Answer 20

I'm considered a 'happy' adoptee around here I think, mostly because while I believe in private adoption reforms, believe in them fervently actually, I'm still firmly pro adoption.

I've said many times on here that I do truly believe that there are many adoptions take place which are the best thing for the child.

I think the thing that maybe gets some adoptee's backs up is being constantly told that we're in denial, living in fog, angry or suppressing emotions if we genuinely are content with our adoptions.

There's also the fact of being told that our positive life experiences don't negate the negative life experiences that another may have lived.  I for one agree with that entirely.  Who am I to say how another person does or should feel?

But 'happy' adoptees (if we need to be labelled) don't seem to be entitled to the same respect on here.  Just yesterday, I read a question in which an adoptee stated they were happy and satisfied with how their life had been, and at least 3 answerers told her that it was because she was in denial, would wake up later in life, or that she was flat out lying.

From my own standpoint, it's a complete stranger on the internet telling me that I don't know myself as well as they know me that tends to bug me a little.  Nothing more, nothing less.

I hope that answers your question :=)

BTW:  I read a question earlier in which the term of endearment "a$$ l****r" was used by an 'angry' adoptee.

Answer 21

Because, deep down inside, they wonder why they were "gotten rid of".  What's "wrong" with them?  And how could their parents do that to them.  

They may not admit it, and they may tell you that they know it was for a really good reason, but deep down, ANY REJECTION HURTS, especially by your own parent.

Believe me, I know from first hand experience.  And also, because everyone used to tell me how "lucky" I was, so I felt like I had to play the game and be oh, so happy, but I WAS OH SO ANGRY.