Why do some women get irritated at the thought of a man physically protecting them?

Question

I don't mean where he's all clingy and over-protective, I'm talking about situations where she's being physically harassed or assaulted by a man and so another man steps in and fights the other guy to protect her.

I've asked women how they feel about this and some of them had this very arrogant "I don't need a man to protect me" or "I can take care of myself" attitude. I find this astounding because women are often victims of rape and assault, but when a man intervenes and challenges the assaulter she points her chin up and says "I don't need a man's help."

Women, how do you feel about the thought of a man helping you out in such a situation, given that women are physically weaker than men? (I'm not bragging, just stating a fact)

Watch this YouTube video. A couple were walking down a pathway and some guy hit the man's girlfriend and a fight broke out. That's what I mean.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LM5hK9QaDrY&NR=1

Answer 1

A lot of women just prefer to feel more independent.  I think it's an issue that has to do with being proud.  

I personally feel honored when a man wants to protect me and will jeopardize his own well being for me.  It makes me feel like I am worth something to him.  In a case when I really do feel like I am in danger I definitely prefer if a man comes to my rescue (well a capable guy, not some scrawny dude.)  I feel a lot more safe in a threatening situation if a man is with me.  For example, if I feel like another man is following me and I don't want to be in a dangerous situation I will call my boyfriend to come meet me.  I think a lot of women need to realize that they can still have pride and still be a stall woman but at the same time accept that sometimes a mans protection is better than going it on your own.

Answer 2

To my understanding, most women like the idea of a man attempting to defend them, so long as there is a need and the man isn't a total idiot about it. That said, it's completely needless in today's society. A woman can take care of herself as well as any man -- if she were to only put her mind to it.

Answer 3

Pride. I think it's because some of them see it as an affront to their independence. They probably feel that when a man to steps in to help, it makes her feel 'lesser' than him. But c'mon let's be realistic, if she's being assaulted by someone who's clearly bigger and stronger than she is and who can cause some serious harm to her, I think it would be in her best interest to get assistance from somebody who's capable of fending off the attacker.

Now if the situation were different however, if she was just being harassed by some small scrawny guy who's physically weaker than her and she's knows how to fight, then she's clearly capable of resolving the situation herself and there would be no need for her to receive help if she can successfully defend herself.

Answer 4

Maybe they are martial arts experts and don't need protection.

Answer 5

I'm a feminist but that's really overdoing it. I'd rather be saved by a guy than raped any day.

Answer 6

I know...I know.  There will always be jerks in the world and it's not he nice guys' fault, and it IS nice to defend people.  Wherever he is, I will always fondly remember my great big friend Brad from second grade who scared away the bullies who used to kick me, simply by being the largest 7 yr old they'd ever seen.  (They didn't have to know he was an absolute sweetheart who wouldn't hurt a fly.)  

But what still makes me mad to this day is that the teachers blamed ME for getting kicked because I liked to play by myself at recess.  The bullies were never punished, but I was told that I should join t-ball or field hockey for protection.  Nevermind that I didn't like field hockey or t-ball.  I found my own solution when I realized that the bullies were scared of my friend Brad, who also didn't like field hockey or t-ball.  I just still can't believe that teachers would do that - tell a 7 yr old that she ought to expect to get beat up if I didn't go with the herd, and turn a blind eye to the 10 yr olds who think it's good fun to gang up on a much smaller child.

And sometimes, I feel like people are trying to do the same thing to women  Like, it's your own fault if you go out by yourself without bringing a big strong man, and you get attacked.  Excuse me? No. It's the attacker's fault if I was minding my own business and they come make trouble.  I SHOULDN'T need a man to protect me.  

And actually, as an adult, the only people who have ever come close to assaulting me were the guys I was with.  Random strangers have never bothered me at all.

Answer 7

I would not refuse him or his help, and don't mind at all feeling protected by a man, especially when he is balanced enough to not think of me as inferior.

I like men who have a protective nature about them, who take care of "business" (as they say) and recognise their strengths, but not the kind who belittle women because of such.

For example, my dad is a very protective person, and he considers that most males and females are different, but of equal worth.

Answer 8

I really don't think there are enough women who believe this to consider it an issue.

Answer 9

I would expect my man to protect and defend me in the situation you presented.  I would respect him for standing up for me in a situation where I am being physically assaulted by another man.  I can say all I want that I can take care of myself, but even with the best training a man is a better match for a man than I will ever be.

The man's reaction in the video was purely instinctual, and he admirably stood up to protect the woman he was with.

Not only would I find a man who did this for me admirable, but I would also find him more attractive.

Answer 10

Unless I'm in absolutely no condition to defend myself, men can just step off.

COUNT: It's delicious!

Answer 11

If I am in danger, I will take help from whoever offers it and would offer the same to others.  I think when our lives or wellbeing is in danger it would be foolish to worry about who might be willing to help or attempt to protect us.  

It seems to me as if what we experience more is that no one wants to help or get involved...and that is truly a sad thing.

Answer 12

If my boyfriend got that aggressive with a stranger, then I would leave him; no guarantees that his anger won't turn on me someday.

Why am I offended if a man tries to protect me? I'm not. I protect my friends, male or female. Its offensive when people tell me that I NEED a man to protect me. People need each other for security. Assuming that its only women who need men IS offensive.

Answer 13

A lot of good points have been made on both sides of the issue. Any man who has a sister, or a daughter understands that it's simply instinctive to protect & defend in that situation. Remember the expression, "Every woman is somebody's little girl"?! ~:)>

Answer 14

Just how common do you think this situation is then?  As most women suffer physical attacks in their own home by a man they live with or have at some time, which white knight jumps in then?  And again, who does the raping? When I was at college there were a spate of stranger rapes, and the college dean suggested that us girls make sure we went out with young men to protect us!!! Who said those young men were going to be alright?  Not all men are potential rapists, but as women we must learn a, to take responsibility for ourselves and b. be more discerning when it comes to male support, friendship and companionship.  And call things as they are, not making snap judgements based on a fear incase we get accused of being unreasonable to nice men.  Do you wear ID so we know who you are?

The last thing is I'm tired of hearing just how physical men can be.  Often when you watch your average street brawl on CCTV it takes longer for the men to take their coats off than it does for the actual fight to take place.

I'll take my chances on me own ta!

Answer 15

That's because it's misleading. Most women are raped by men they know, including those who are supposed to protect them. That goes for physical assault also.

Answer 16

If I were being attacked I would be grateful is someone came to my aide. I don't ever want to be physically hurt and if someone helped me out I would never be offended by it. I think it is very proud and foolish for someone to chastise another person for trying to help you when you are in need.  

Answer 17

I think perhaps most women like myself would appreciate the idea of a man attempting to defend us while we were being physically assaulted.  I think that would be very gallant and chivalrous of him would you not think so? =P