Why do some women go after douche bags?

Question

My friend just broke off her engagment to my cousin. They were A week later she was dating a perverted drunk who is 30 years old(she's 22) and lives with a bunch of other drunks. He also is known to hurt women that he is with when he is drunk. My cousin wouldn't hurt a fly and he is so sweet. She left him for this guy! Why are some women attracted to a guy who they would never think about settling down with? She want's to get married, but why is she with him?

Answer 1

If she's only 22, then she may not really be ready to settle down yet.  I agree that she shouldn't be dating this drunk guy, but you're a bit biased about your cousin because he is YOUR cousin.  That drunk guy might be someone's cousin too and they may not think he's so bad.

Also, I so hate it when people (especially guys) use the term "douche bag."  Most guys don't even know what a douche bag is.  It's just irritating.

Answer 2

she is with him because she has not met me yet, the ultimate crooner, petey the panda

Answer 3

Just by reading this, it looks like she panicked when she thought she'd never be able to date another man again when she got married. Since your cousin is so polite and awesome, she is probably testing the waters with someone entirely different from what your cousin is like. Lots of women are attracted to bad boys because they have qualities that seem fun and carefree and perhaps she's living vicariously through his partying.

Another thing she might be, is hurt...and on the rebound. She might have realized how stupid her mistake was and is dating any random man just to fill the void (I've been there)...if he's everything you say he is (abusive, a loser, etc.) then she will probably come to her senses and go back to your cousin. It seems like she had that pre-marriage panic where she struggled with the concept of spending the rest of her life with one man.

If she doesn't come around, wish her the best, but know deep down that she made a silly choice. It sounds like your cousin really loved her, and genuine love can be difficult to find. She might wake up one day to regret it all, you never know.

Answer 4

God knows, but it's good because it leaves more nice guys available for us non-psycho girls.

Answer 5

Do you know anything about your friend's background? Did she have perverted drunk family members ?

People are attracted to those that are familiar to them.  I stand by the theory that people's choice in mates reflect what kind of parents they had.

Maybe your sweet cousin isn't what she's familiar with, and she doesn't know how to handle such a relationship.  I too have felt awkward by "too sweet guys" because this is not how my biological father, step-father and brothers behaved.  I dated a "really sweet guy," and it just felt weird.

Maybe it happened for the best, because your cousin and her just weren't meant to be.

EDIT: Just b/c her family seems normal doesn't mean they are. You would be suprised at how many prestigious families have skeletons in their closet and are rampant with abuse and alcoholism. Most families don't show this side to the public.

Maybe she just hasn't disclosed you to everything about her life. Most people don't like to share these things, or they deny it.