Why do some women like holding grudges after the man is ready to move on?

Question

The man was in the same argument and is ready to make up. Why won't she? Why do some women like holding on to things?

That's selfish, childish behavior. Long term it damages the relationship.

Answer 1

What? Men do that, too. And not always, but often, women are known for being more forgiving.

Answer 2

Sometimes, certain males might not realize the intensity of the situation, or the woman might not explain how enraged about something she is.

Now, some men think that if they just say "sorry" or "yes, dear" things will be over.  For women.. things don't work that way.  I've been on this other forum, in which one woman's spouse was cheating on her, and it had been around four years since he stopped.  They remained married, and he couldn't understand why she was still angry about his previous affairs.

Just because a problem is fixed doesn't mean that the wounds caused by it are healed.  Also, grudges are often related to a lack of communication or understanding.

Answer 3

Well, what is first worrying me is that my boyfriend's name is Jimmy and his last name starts with a K.  I hope I'm not in an argument and don't know it...

Women are more emotional and take more time to get over things.  Both with friends and boyfriends.  I know some women/girls who hold onto grudges for months and years (even about small stuff) and guys that get over things in a matter of days.

Not much you can do about it.  Women are just different than men.  I don't know what your argument was about or how serious it was, so I can't say much more than that.

If you slept with her sister (s):  it will be a long, long time

If you forgot what her favorite color is, maybe only a week...

Good luck!

Answer 4

Sweetie - everybody is different.  

Some people, maybe a man, maybe a woman, just take longer to let things go.

You cannot force anyone else to release their resentment on your timetable.  

Answer 5

I have someone who has been holding a grudge on me for nearly a year, and another two years.

Both are women, and I've moved on.

Men just beat the c**p out of each other then are friends again, women have a searing hatred they live with of someone they dislike til' they die.

Answer 6

cos you think it should be o k just because you are o k with it.

the world doesn't revolve around you.

Answer 7

I am always the first to move on or be ready to move on. I walk away.

I do not know what it is like to hold grudges in this sense.

Now if the man messed up in any way shape or form, I have been known to hold a grudge until I am over it.

Also, bare in mind that men do this as well.

Answer 8

It also depends on the arguement... We women hold onto things because whatever is said could have hurt us, or we're just subborn..

Other women on the other hand usually look forward to the make up s*x. LOL

Answer 9

Women have memories like elephants.  When they get upset (or even when they are happy) some bad memories can come flooding back...to complicate the f*ck out of the present situation (they say "oh honey, I thought because...

in the past...you did this...and I thought it was gonna happen again.")  

You have to listen to them berate you multiple times and beat you into the mud before they are ready to "forgive" you.  Of course now, what you just did...will surface again

whenever you f*ck up or she is pissed.  Just say "yes dear" and listen.  Shake your head up and down and acknowledge she is the Universal truth.    

Answer 10

Holding a grudge is not healthy. But, it does occur in both genders. I have had things brought up to me that happened years before. Silly? Yes. Some individuals are grudge holders. it depends on the persons temperament.