Why do some women say that they want a good guy, and then intentionally date cheaters and abusers?

Question

We're not talking about someone who seemed like a good guy at first, and then changed. We're talking about you knowing right-up-front that the guy is scum, and you STILL date him on purpose.

Is that a lack of self-esteem? A delusional belief that he can be "changed"? Denial that "he's not that bad"? Justified because "he wears nice shoes and rides a Harley"?

Then these women have the nerve to whine about how terrible things are. Why is this? Don't they understand how hypocritical they are? Do they enjoy being a victim and a martyr?

Answer 1

I truly believe the women who do choose bad boys enjoy being used and crying over it! They look like martyrs and good people. In their mind this covers their shortcommings! It also magnifyed their strong points.Looking like saints for sticking to it! Which if you think of it shows lack of self esteem also.I respect a woman who stands up for herself. If she has no opinion on anything then she doesn't think for or of herself. I dated a woman that was that way. I could have said eat horse manure andshe would have ! I could not  instill self respect in her. Lost cause and had to move on!

Answer 2

You have answered your own question correctly.  All those reasons, and they also think "bad boys" are more exciting.

Then the nice guys have to sit around and listen to them complain and moan about their partners, when nobody else but THEY are responsible for the situation their in.

The nice guy thinks, "Well duh, either leave him or shut your yap!"  Nope, they'd rather stay with him and complain.  It's what women do: rag rag rag rag rag.  Then they wonder why we don't listen to them.

Answer 3

Primarily lack of self-esteem and uncertainty with respect to what they seek in a relationship.

Answer 4

yeah! I know what you mean.

im one of those girls who is always looking for a good guy and end up with a jerk. I guess its because the jerk I have was once a good boy and I was the naughty one, so I ended up messing up his life and he dumped me, then 10 years later we got back together but now im the good one (hit rock bottom and learned) and now he is the bad guy who smokes and is a druggie with no job and a life, so I love him because he was always the love of my life and I guess I feel guilty for messing up his life, now its my job to make him a good man again even if I die trying.

about other woman, personally, they just get a good man and they are so freakin boring its tiring, then they find the bad guy who sweeps them off their feet like a roller coaster with no trail. if good man had wild personalities and not dead boring, then that would be considered the perfect man. good man are very gentle and woman like gentle but not all the time. girls also want a bad and naughty kinky guy inside that nice and good man. life its about balance in both good and bad.

Answer 5

idk either man i think women just like being treated bad...i mean i'm a nice guy no girls date me but the jerk of a jock gets all the girls