Why do teenagers always say "I Hate You" when they argue with their Mother?

Question

Every time my 13 yr old son dosen't get his own way and an argument ensues he storms to his room saying i hate you and slams the door?

Answer 1

because its what really gets to the parent and hurts them

Answer 2

It's probably just an impulsive outburst of emotion :) Teenagers can be very emotional. If you think you're being rational, Don't worry about it!

Answer 3

HE doe not hate you. He only hates the answer that you gave him. When I was a teenager my parents were so dumb, When I was 21 they were about the smartest people I knew. Just how did they get so smart in just a few years? Well  come to find out it was only me? It is hard to let your children grow up. I know you want to keep them kids all their lives but you can not do this. I know you do not want them making mistakes. Please try and start letting them make some of their own decesissions  and their own mistakes if the price is not to high. That way they will learn to make the right choices and if they do not they know what will happen. I know it is hard but by starting early they will be a better  person and make less costly mistakes later in life. I know it is a bitter pill to swallow but sooner or later it is going to happen anyway. I hope this is of some help to you. Good Luck

Answer 4

They're angry, frustrated, and don't know how to express themselves in a logical way so they say stuff to hurt their parents feelings. They think their parents will treat them more seriously if they use harsh words. But don't worry, he probably doesn't mean it.  

Answer 5

I hate my dad... but i have my reasons

He's a prick

Answer 6

Because they think it's the most hurtful thing they can say to their parents...  the people who love them more than ANYTHING.  They don't mean it.  They just want your attention.  I find that it does usually bother the parent, though.  It's not entirely ineffective.  Just not the best response.  Basically, they can't think of anything else to say.  

Answer 7

they dont mean it, it's the worst they can say without cursing.  

Answer 8

they want to hurt you or make you feel bad,because they haven'tt gotten their way or when they are fighting with you,because you have hurt them, i don't believe any of them really mean it, they just want attention!

Answer 9

i only ever said it to my mum ONCE and in the end i went to my room crying because of what i said not what caused me to say it, they don't mean it, its the only thing they can say to make you feel bad, when i said i to my mum she said back "no you don't"

its just a reaction, there is hardly ever any truth behind it

Answer 10

( I HATE YOU ) ---Your not agreeing to what I want.

As they saying goes---Its Cruel To Be Kind, teenagers go through alot at this age, everything is such a big issue, As parents we have to at times be hard on our children, BUT only in the long run its for their own good, as we Parents look back at our own teenage years and realise it did us the world of good. (some anyway). My daughter says it not so often, but I still know deep in her heart she still loves me, as she tells me 20 mins later. And apologises that she was in such an angry mood. Its great to make a time, when just you and your children or teenages sit down and can talk about anything within half an hour and know that whatever is said, no one can get into trouble, its a great time to let everything out....well on that note take care, and remember we all were teenages too.

Answer 11

In my experience its a frustration thing. They cant convey their thoughts properly so they lash out.

Children also rarely understand the true meaning of hate. Ive taken to translating "I hate you" into "Im so angry and frustrated right now"

Answer 12

coz were all melodramatic xD

Answer 13

im 17 and i think its cause they dont understand how much of a harsh word it is  

Answer 14

Me and your son have a lot in common. I am also 13 and the reason i say that to my mum [only said it once] is because its the only verbal punch they can throw without getting told off for swearing. And plus he knows the phrase hurts deep down.

Puberty... Isn't it great...

Answer 15

Because hate is the closest emotion to love, yes, strange but true.  It takes alot of energy to hate, it also takes a lot of energy to love. At 13 he is just frustrated.

My comeback to my teenagers is "I will alway love you, but I don't have to like you right now".

13 year olds just don't have the abiltiy to deal with their emotions. Just make sure that you let him know that you love him and explain why he was unable to get his own way, open the door to lots of communication!

Good luck :-)

Answer 16

i think that question answers itself

they hate you (short term ofcourse)

also, from a childs perspective

its the only thing he knows that may offend or hurt you

Answer 17

I agree. He thinks it's the most hurtful thing he can say (I too used to say it to my parents even though I didn't mean it.)

I think if you have a good relationship most of the time then don't worry about it. You should just shrug your shoulders and say "Oh well, if that's how you feel, so be it."

As soon as you make out that you are hurt by it then he'll play on it.

If he was taking to you with his fists or acting withdrawn or something, then you should probably be concerned.

I wouldn't say "I hate you too" back though, as kids may take it literally but being adults we know a little better.  It's probably just a phase that will pass with adolescence.

Answer 18

i'm 14 and i've never said that to my mum or dad. that's just stereotyping all teenagers. in my opinion your son is weird. none my mates say they hate their parents either.  

Answer 19

I hate my Mom.

She treats me like an outsider.

She never cooks meal with sincerity.

I hate her.

She's self centered, a liar, a manipulator who talks bad things about my dad whom, at the end of the day, she'll ask thousand of dollar from.

And of course my dad will give it to her!

I HATE HER!

Once, she threw a knife at me and hit my head on the wall!

When I was a child, she would abuse me everyday without reasons! Gosh I hate her!

How I wish my dad would ditch her!

She's just want my dad's money.

And yes she is my biological mother!

Now I'm 20, I think I'm going to snap back!