Why do the anti-adoption zealots prefer this mother (1st link) over a loving adoptive mother?

Question

http://www.crimerant.com/?p=707

Crimerant » Blog Archive » Michigan Mom’s a Lock for Worst Mother of the Year

http://www.a-team.org/child_abuse_statistics.html

A-Team. Child sexual abuse. Child abuse statistics. Domestic violence, date rape, abusing women and abusing men. Abusing family and s*x education; marriage education.

http://archive.salon.com/mwt/feature/2000/05/08/stalked/index.html

Salon Mothers Who Think | Stalked by my birth mother

Answer 1

hi me again, the email address you gave me wont let me send it to you, im not sure if its the wrong one or what. haha

ewww this mother is disgusting

Answer 2

ok she is a really bad mother but where is your proof that the state of michigan would leave the children in her care than allow them to be adopted to loving homes and families

Answer 3

That first story made my cry - she will rot in h**l.

As for the anti-adoption folks - I know it's difficult, but don't let them get to you.  Adoption is selfless and loving - both on the part of the birth mother who wants the best for the baby and the adopted mother who wants to provide a lifetime of love for the child.  There are all kinds of kooks out there.  When they are getting you down, go to a few other topics and you'll be amazed (an sometimes amused).  You have people screaming about illegal immigration (when they don't know the difference between legal and illegal).  Or, "what do you think of my baby names?" and then they flip out because you point out that their names will get the child beaten up regularly.  My particular favorite is answering a La Leche n**i with my honest opinion that yes, breast feeding is wonderful and yes, it is incredibly tacky to whip your b*****s out in public and expect everyone to be okay with it.

Just remember - lots of crazies on here.  Fortunately, most want to help.  Just keep on loving and nurturing, AND don't listen to half of them!

Answer 4

Clearly, you are trying to pick a fight.  The cases you cite are the extremes.

However, I understand your point of view.  I am surprised at the number of people on this site who have a 'romantic' view of birth mothers.  

We adopted through the foster care system and have several friends who have done the same.  In many, many cases, the birth mothers of the kids in foster care are neglectful and abusive.  My experience has been that these kids have major behavioral problems and developmental delays, not because of any biological reason, but because of bad parenting.  These are not isolated cases, the foster care systems around the USA are crowded with these kids, and these are only the ones that have been reported.

I can understand the need to know your past, but suggesting that you will always have had a "better" life with a birth mother is wrong.

Answer 5

ok i dont think anyone advocates what that woman in michigan did. you have to understand that each adoption is different. they are not always dramatic and hostile. some are wonderful and peaceful. mine was. my family had their problems, but i dont believe it was any worse than any non-adoption family. unfortunately many dont have such a happy story.

lets face it, some adoptions are just sad stories of children being moved from one bad situation to another. they endure many problems stemming directly from the adoption. its not supposed to be this way, but people are also not supposed to 'pimp' out their kids for p**n either, but as you see it happens.

try to have some empathy for their plight. they are hurt and are entitled to their time to vent, what they feel may not be an accurate overview of what adoption is or is supposed to be, but it is their story and thats all they know. if it was you, you may feel the same way, i think i would.

a little understanding and respect goes a long way. not just by you and me, but also by them. they must understand that our opinion is also importent and should be heard. no one is wrong here, its simply a matter of personal experience.

and just for the record, i hope that michigan woman fries, what a piece of work she is.

Answer 6

It is amazing to me as well.  I have shared the craziness of what is said in this section of Yahoo! Answers to many of my friends and we are all quite baffled.  

Adoption stories may not always be great, but there are plenty of people who grew up with their biological families that are a mess.  True, it would be nice if all biological mothers were loving and nurturing but as you have pointed out in your links posted this is not always the case. There are a great many children adopted into families that love them and give them honost ways of coping with the loss of their biological roots giving them ways to embrace the families that they now have.  I wish all of these people who were so apposed to adoption would stop using their anger to bash loving adoptive parents and begin using their strong emotions to help solve the problems that do sometimes exist in adoptions.

I for one am proud of all you adoptive parents that have opened your hearts and homes to be parents of children that are not of your flesh and blood.  There are many valid reasons for adoption and I am glad to know so many of you!

Answer 7

What are you talking about? Can you show where anyone has said they prefer the mother in the first link to an adoptive mother?

Seriously - please show where you have read this. I would really like to know.

Answer 8

Because theyre stupid???

I wasnt adopted, but I have a stepfather, who I love dearly...My own (Biological) father didn't want me, but my stepdad, is the best daddy a girl could ask for!

I would never take my "real" dad in the place of my daddy...

Answer 9

What's an anti-adoption zealot?  Anyways, she's a horrible, rotten *****, and I hope she rots in h**l.  Seriously.

The only problem is, someone like that most likely would never have considered placing her children for adoption, she obviously had other plans for them.

Who said they'd prefer her than an adoptive mother?  I'm confused!  That's a horrible story anyway.

Answer 10

Because they're anti-adoption zealots?

Answer 11

It looks as if you've taken a lot of time to surf the web looking for the worst possible mothers you could find, and then lumped them all together in one "question" as a back-handed way to bash some of the answerers on this site.

Honestly, I suggest taking a few days away from Yahoo!Answers, or at least away from this section of it, so you can regain your equilibrium.