Why do the guys my age think i'm fat, and then slightly older guys think i'm s**y/curvy??

Question

i am the biggest girl in my grade (8th) and when i'm in school around guys my age, none of them are interested in me and i'm considered 'fat'... but, recently, outside of school, i've started getting a lot of attention from older guys (early 20s) and they COMPLIMENT me on my body and say i'm 'curvy'.

medically, i'm 15lbs over weight... but, still, i'm not obese... and i've been told that i don't really look my age (i'm 14), so maybe the standards are different??

Answer 1

If you are 15 lbs overweight, that means you are 15 pounds over what the highest "healthy weight" for your height is.  This means you are probably more like 25 lbs over what your "ideal weight" is.  You didn't say how tall you were, but that could be alot if you were say under 5'5".  Also, I agree with some of the above posters.  Anyone who is in their early twenties and is trolling a middle school for a date is bad news.  They can tell you are insecure and will tell you what you want to hear in order to get what they want.  

Answer 2

a couple things here, first boys don't know anything other than what they see on TV so they will expect that the twigs they see on TV are normal.

Second as boys grow into men they start seeing through wiser eyes and can appreciate how curves make a woman more attractive.

Third your not a woman, your a girl and still developing so don't worry about it.

Fourth and last, what the h**l are you doing hanging around 20+ years olds. Girl get your A$$ back in class and stay away from those guys.

Answer 3

The Mrs doesn't read questions properly, the asker wrote that she doesn't look her age, so why are these men perverts? If a man sees a woman (or what seems like a woman) and tells her she's attractive, is he a pervert?

Did the self-appointed equalists forget their high horses this evening?

Answer 4

No, it is because these "men" are perverts.  Any MAN (18 or older) commenting on your looks (other than "What a pretty girl." or other things you that would be acceptable for your grandfather to say) is a pervert.  Please stay away from these guys.  The chances of them truly caring about who you are and what you feel is very low.

At the age of 14, you may look 16 even 17, but guys in their 20's have no business talking about you sexually.

That being said, most 14 year old boys are immature.  They listen to the TV far too much and are far too influenced by the media's outrageous standards of beauty.  Ignore them, just be healthy and know you are doing the right thing.  Keep your focus on your friends and guys who are more mature...mentally/emotionally...but not older.

Answer 5

hey am 15 wat i learned to guys right now its not about whether they like the girl or not its weather their friends will think their girl friends is hott. They don't have real likes just imitations the more u look like a boney model the more they likee you. Don't worry it getts better in highschool. The more they mature the more they like curvy girls

Answer 6

You better listen to Yankee Fever. She knows! If older guys are paying you compliments run the other way. All they want is s*x and that's trouble. Please stay away from them until you're older and more capable of taking care of yourself. Be careful dear. ♥ ∞

EDIT: The Mrs. and others had good answers too. Stay clear of the perverts. ♥ ∞

Answer 7

you are perfect for your size...

good - dont post pictures ...you dont want weirdos all over it

anyways, i had the same problem growing up...i am latina and they are known to be curvy...i was one of them --> i grew up hating my body because i would get comments all the time

from adults i was always being told i had a beautiful body

but from kids and peers i was looked at as fat...please do not believe them...they are unaware of a regular female body...

as for the 15lbs overweight do not stress you are still growing

Answer 8

8th Graders are usually more immature and still act like children than 20 y/o's.

Just ignore the ones at you're school.

Answer 9

The guys your age don't realize the difference between curvy and fat. To them, anything big (except b***s) is fat. They'll grow out of it.

Answer 10

cuz 8th graders want the skinny tall girls while older mmen like real women

Answer 11

Fourteen year old boys still think girls are gross. Twenty year old guys just want to have s*x.

Don't pay attention to what anyone tells you. Be happy, be healthy, be you.

Answer 12

Beware of older guys with lots of compliments about your body. They are probably just trying to take advantage of you sexually. They may seem nice and their compliments probably feel good, but it's dangerous getting involved with guys that old. It's also illegal. They'll say anything to you if they think you'll have s*x with them. Don't take the bait!

The boys your own age are just being immature when they make fun of your looks. They are probably worried about their own looks, so they take attention away from themselves and talk about you. Give it time. They'll grow up, and so will you.

Answer 13

paedophiles are willing to look past your fat so long as you are young enough.

Answer 14

The Boys in your grade haven't matured yet ( i think) so they think there is only one look for girls ( skinny) but older men like more kinds of body types and they'vd matured!!! and the guys that called u fat r stupid!!!

Answer 15

Boys in 8th grade maturally are far behind compared to boys in their 20's.  By the time they are in 8th grade they just barely graduated from the coodies stage.  So with that kind of mentality, you know that any one without bones showing through their skin is going to be fat.

Guys in their 20's don't want to feel like they are with a girl they can "break."  Skinny girls also complain ALOT about their body. Not by looks, but they do complain about aches and pains they have.  So instead of skinny guys want healthy.  And you my dear are HEALTHY.  

Wait until you get to highschool.  They guys in your class will soon find that they have to act up cause girls their age are dating the Juniors and seniors.  Don't bother with boys your age any ways.  At 14 you match boys who are 16 or 17 on maturity level.  So really i wouldn't waste my time ; )

Answer 16

because boys your age are imature do not listen to them. As long as you are comfortable with your body, and you love yourself it will show and the boys will come around.. Don't go messing with the older ones tho they only have one thing on their mind...