Why do the things some teen mums do overshadow the rest of us?

Question

I AM A TEENAGE MOTHER. Not necessarily proud of the fact, but I'll damned if I say I'm ashamed. I have a daughter that just turned one last Wed. and I'm currently pregnant with my second whom is due August 13th. I come from a very understanding family, well, for the most part. I suppose you could consider me lucky on that part. I provide a good life for my child, and by that I mean I DO pay for everything, including the roof over her head. Their father did leave me, which is something completely beyond my control, but I still try to let5 him come and go, I want him to be there for them, and as little as that happens, I just hope it catches up to him soon. I'm drug free, I don't try to have many friends, I just work, and take care of my child. I know I"m the best mom out there, but I know I'm doing MY best, and if you ask me, that's what a parent is....Right? So why must society brand me with this horrid steriotype? Just because some Teen mums p**s their lives away, should it be assumed

Answer 1

I'm 100% with you on this...although my situation is slightly different from yours seeing as my childrens father and I are still together. I got pregnant and had my first daughter at 17,my second daughter I was preg at 19 and had her when I was 20 and now currently pregnant 7 months along with baby #3 and I'm 21. I have also been branded the stereotype of a teenage mom although my kids get everything I can give them and they never go without the neccessities(yes here and there I can not buy them tons of toys that they want but then again I wouldnt anyway cause I don't want them thinking they can have everything they want when later on in life they will have to learn that bills come before playtime) They always have new clothes when they need them and I still have most of the same clothes I had since before I got pregnant with my first daughter(with the exception of undies and a new bra here and there). There are ALWAYS put before me..ALWAYS. And like you I was a virgin when I met my husband(then b/f) and he was the only guy I had been with(although I wasn't the only girl he had ever been with,which sucked but whatever) and he IS the father of all 3 of our children. We work our butts off to support our children and would have it no other way. I also do not ditch my kids with someone else so I can go out partying. I've been to 1 bar 1 time and that was for a birthday present...my mom and dad watched my daughters(and I wasn't pregnant at the time when I went either) so I could have some Me time which I never asked for they just told me they were gonna keep the girls so I could go have some alone time for 1 night. I do not party,I don't do drugs(seeing as my brothers are junkies and I REFUSE to turn out like them) I don't drink(just that one time at the bar) I don't leave my kids with ANYONE unless my mom keeps them for me so I can go do stuff that they can not come with me to do like dentist appointments(seeing as I can not have a tooth pulled while holding my girls) or my prenatal visits that I have to get internal exams at and stuff like that...I always take my kids to the store with me or to pay bills when I go because I don't see a point in leaving them at home with someone when I am capable of taking them myself.

It just realy pisses me off how people can say that I'm worthless and not a good mom just because I'm so young with soon to be 3 children because they don't know the situation...

All I have to say to the people who stereotype me is At least I will still be able to run around and play with my children in 10 yrs as opposed to them(who mainly are older people who make these comments) who will be in a wheel chair or having to worry about breaking a hip in 10yr while tryin to play with their children!

I'm not saying go out and have babies during teenage years but I am saying do not bash every young female who has kids because there are plenty of great moms who had children during their teens years,and also they need to realize that older parents can be just as worthless and bad parents as young parents can be

Answer 2

I think you all need to get over it.. great you can provide well for your families.. And have everything you need.. or some of you are on welfare.. or your kids have their own rooms.. who cares? If your going to get caught up in what people think your you ... you do have alot of growing up to do.. I have my own home too.. married.. have 2 kids.. want more.. Earn fantastic money.. i have a 4 bedroom house.. my kids room is my room.. They dont have their own room yet.. maybe when they start school.. Lol. I think if your a teen mum.. and you talk down on teens being pregnant what does that make you? *sighs* You should have finished school. Don't contradict what your saying.

Answer 3

Mom mom was married and had four kids. She got divorced and he took off. Most men these days take off- married or not.

Answer 4

Good point. I guess society is like that because people want to feel better about themselves and they just try to pick on anything they can find to make themselves "better than others". Like "well, I may be a s*x-addict alchoholic but hey, at least I'm not a teen mom!". I dunno. People can just be stupid.

Answer 5

First of all, congratulations on being a responsible teen mother. Most teens, even preteens, are engaging in some sort of sexual activity. I also cannot stand that young mothers are labeled whores, because they're not doing anything that most people their age aren't doing. They just happened to get pregnant. I got pregnant at 21 and STILL felt the way you're feeling now. I can pretty much bet that most of the people that are running their mouths did or are doing the same thing at your age. I am not promoting underage s*x, but it's just a plain fact that most kids are doing it, so why not promote ways for them to be responsible and finish school and raise their children instead of talking s**+*? I agree with you 100%. Again, good job.

Answer 6

Same answer as twice earlier today to a similar questions:

Because they are ignorant, and generalize them all into one group. They fail to see that a good precentage of them are doing great, and supporting themselves. I was pregnant, married and moved 2200 miles at 17. Bought my house at 19 on an acre, 2 miles off the lake! So obviously we arent irresponsible, and not supporting ourselves. How else would our credit be running at 720??? Can the "older" parents say the same....most of the time no they cant. It's fine though, just do what you do, make a life...and laugh at the ignorant ones that haven't done 1/2 of what you have at double or triple your age. You guys will be fine! Your doing great! just keep with it, and enjoy that lil one! They get big so fast!

Oh, and a little bit of ironic info...pull the stats on the age of gov. assistance recieving people...the MAJORITY are older parents! Not younger ones. Check out the lines at the store the day WIC checks are recieved...most people with them aren't teens or young mom's...they are older people with a bunch of kids that look like trash! So that accuisation is made out of statistical ignorance.

Answer 7

I think people tend to judge way too quickly.  I was married as an 18 year old and had fertility issues but ended up with a beautiful girl at the age of 20.  People still looked at me wierd and I had to go through a lot of stuff to get her. Now at 25 I have had a hysterectomy.  I guess God knew better than "society" what was best for my life.  You just be the best mommy you can be and who cares what others think.  God Bless You!

Answer 8

ok one s*x is for marriage if u waited he couldnt of left. and two u arent old enough your body is not done growing. man i was 20 when i had my son and i still am not done growing. there is still i want to do with my life but that changed. my sister is a single mom she works hard but still gets help. i think the reason people lable u is cause of the news the way they make us view it. having kids does change alot i am sure u know that adds alot of stress with school work and work paying for every thing. i had a friend in our 11th grade year got pg she missed over half the year she droped out of school. when i go out with my son i get looks i dont look 21 so yeah i get the looks too. i think the reason why is cause when we are teens even me we think nothing bad can happen to us that we can do every thing and not get hurt. and when something does happen we get mad cause it did when we deep down knew that it could happen. trust me there was many times i prayed that i didnt get pg when i thought a guy loved me and alls he wanted was s*x but that is another thing men need to learn to control themselfs. and learn what the word no means and to take their time dating.

Answer 9

It is not "some" that only end up on welfare, it is MOST. While I think it is wrong for people to just assume these things about a teenager who ends up pregnant, statistics show that generally, teenage moms are not going to do well. But with family support and the new services out there for teen moms, that is changing. (The teen moms whose family supported them actually have better statistics going for them, so it is best for any parents of teens to realize this.) Just stop worrying about what others think, and do your best. That is what matters.