Why do we feel an unfilled hole when someone die??

Question

It feels like a strecth, a slope, a deep feeling of emptiness along with a strange sensation in the torax.

Answer 1

you have to fill that hole with good memories until it's overflowing and that's all you can do

my mom died 14 years ago and i'm still working on it

Answer 2

I do not have an answer for you but I can definatley relate to how you feel.

I lost my aunt to cancer about 5 years ago, and I still hurt just as much as if it were yesterday.  They say that time heals all wounds...but whoever came up with that, obviously never lost a loved one.  I think that time may help a little, but you can never fully move on.

There are times in my life when I get good news and I start to pick up the phone to call my aunt...she was always the first person I wanted to share my good news with...but then I remember I can't do that anymore...so much for the good news.

Ohhhhh, now I hurt again. You are not alone!

Answer 3

Things won't ever be the same. You're right about that. It's because that person used to be a part of your life. That person filled a part of you, but when that person died, she/he was gone. So you're heart gets ripped. But always, always remember that the person is always with you, just not physically.

Answer 4

cos we'll miss them.

Answer 5

Sometimes it might also be that the soul in the beyond contacts you to let you know that he is still alive and the feelings you get might possibly be that you feel his/her pain that s/he cannot contact you or that you believe all is over if one dies.

Answer 6

One thing is it is a very painful thing to feel, that is no doubt. I am not sure I can give one answer to this question because there are so many. It could be because that person was so close to you that a part of your identity if with that person. That happens a lot in the case of a spouse dying. The living spouse does not look at them self as an individual and always viewed life with their spouse. It could be the pain of feeling unfinished business and not having to say goodbye or a regret of what has happened in the past.

I have felt like this personally and I can speak from experience on this one. One thing I can say is in time the person who is hurting will start to feel better. Not that the individual will ever forget and many times (depending on how the death happened) there many never be full acceptance in the situation.

Answer 7

Well... because... if we felt a full hole then it wouldnt be a hole.

Answer 8

Because the expectation and interaction are really missing and lost for the physical plane of existence.

Answer 9

Because we are used to them being there, they become part of us and when they die we are parted with them and when a part of you is taken away it leaves a hole in the part of your life that they filled.

Answer 10

It is funny you should ask this question today I got call from my Mom that my cousins Mother in-law passed away yesterday and now I have wake to go to tomorrow and the whole family will be there!! So sad she was 83 and a widow and she has been sick the past few years so I feel she is at peace and in heaven with her beloved husband....

When a death touches us it makes us really look at where we are in life and what we are actually living for and yes a huge emptiness because we want to be loved and love others as well and make out lives worth something so that when we die people will know we have lived for something. There are many stages we go through life and people that we have loved died or fell ill and suffered very close to us but wwe must remember the things they taught us for that love in our hearts never dies. I feel sad and depressed in hearing the new she was sweet lady and when was a widow I would drive her to my cousins house sometime and she told me its so lonely without my husband all I can say is she is at peace now and she is smiling with her husband I feel this so we must keep going and live our lives with love and not be afraid to take chances and live our lives with passions and great loves so that when our time is up on this earth we have no regrets but we stop and see that any death that touches makes up more alive then we could ever imagine :))

Answer 11

It's not the end. It's more like a beginning. They have been around and helped you and are needed elsewhere. You will be with them again. It is not the end. They didn't leave for good. It's not a goodbye. You meet up again in a world with no pollution.

We feel this way because of how close we were intimately with the person. You feel as if you have been ripped, torn, and scattered to the crows. You will never get over the loss completely, but you try to forget day after day but it just makes you even more bitter. Don't forget because you need to remember for everyone's sake. If you forget, then it will have like they never existed at all. And thats not what you want.

Answer 12

There is no going back after someone we love dies.... just a forward. Sure we miss them but we know that they cant come back..Its a black hole but we climb out to be with those who are living. Those that are living keep US alive to take care of our lives.Sure we feel empty , hopelessnes and think we cant go on but those who love us keep us going..

Answer 13

It is a stark reminder that we are separate from other people..but it is an illusion.  Seeking that God shows your true identity as His child and not only qual to, but the same as all others, will help you resolve the feeling of emptiness..  Feelings come from thoughts. True thoughts bring joy.. Distorted thoughts bring obstructions to joy...fear, anger, sorrow.

Answer 14

death is the cycle of life ..your born you live you die...you cant change it....everybody dose it....life is for the living ...live your life,,the best way you can...and if you do....you will never fear death...and die with the feeling of a job well done...and a life not wasted........Bosun x