Why do we feel guilty when we shouldn't?

Question

There is this guy who makes me feel guilty for when I need alone time, but we all need alone time. So why do I feel guilty, or why do people in general feel guilty when we have the right to things, or in my case alone time.

Answer 1

do more bad deeds, then u can kill the guilty, well, the gov. dogs taught me on yahoo's answer.

Answer 2

Because you care about him and you don't want to hurt him, if you didn't care about him then you wouldn't, but you can actually still care about him and not feel guilty anymore, you just have to realized that you're not doing anything wrong.

Answer 3

We experience guilt because we put right and wrong in things.  It's self doubt that owns us.  

If you just accept things for what they are, be present to it, then this won't haunt you.  Think back to an event or events  that occured where you got stopped in your life, and now you are living in doubts because of that time or series of events.  You can complete that by taking another look at it, and even talk to the people involved and discuss it and see what perspective they might have had.  We have the tendency to create a total story from events that are far from reality.  Perspectives differ.  What happens is that based on your view/perspective of something in life, it will affect your future.  

So with you...you have a desire to be alone sometimes.  In reality, there's nothing wrong there.  But you have it in your mind that there is something wrong there.  And I would guarantee that whatever you think someone else thinks of it, it won't be what you envision.  If others react to it in a negative way, then they too have an issue with that. Keep in mind though, that if you go into it with guilt, people will pick up on that and wonder and possibly think negative of it.  All that you want to do is recharge your batteries, so to speak.  That is REALLY healthy for you and good for your relationships as well.  Right?  

Right now you have a loss of power because of guilt.  Go have that power back, give up the stories you have around this issue, and the guilt will dissapear.  Visualize how good it feels to be alone sometimes.  Be confident and certain about your wants, and I promise that in the end that you'll not only feel good about yourself, but that other people will accept it as well.  

Answer 4

that guy sounds needy.  oh boy - that only gets worse as they get older.  insist on your alone time.  he KNOWS it makes you feel guilty - it's a classic passive/aggressive move.  DON'T fall for it.

Answer 5

Just being human.. probably because we care for that person, sometimes without even realizing it and we feel bad that maybe they were expecting more from you or like you are letting them down. I think guilt is one of the worst pains we can feel. But people need to understand that we all need some space an d i you feel guilty about it, just pick up the phone.. see how he's doing so you won't have to feel utterly guilty.

Answer 6

just human nature.

you prolly feel guilty for wanting your alone time b/c you feel as though you hurting that person feelings, eve thought you are entitlted to you alone time.  

Answer 7

Well, a lot of time it is the other person. I think in your case this "friend" who makes you feel guilty might just be trying to make you feel guilty so you will spend more time with him.

Lots of times(I don't think necessarily for this case) it is the enemy, satan, who wants us to feel like we are worthless. One of his tactics are by making us feel guilty about things we shouldn't feel guilty about.

Alone time isn't bad. Lots of times I have to confront my friend and tell her I need a break from people for a while. If this guy your talking about is a good friend, then he should understand. If he doesn't I would not worry to much about what he thinks any ways.

Hope this helps! :)

Answer 8

You are surrendering your self to his manipulation. If you had more self esteem and valued your time you would not succumb to his pressure. Why do you? It is also flattering as it proves how important and needed we are by others.

Answer 9

It's a normal feeling we all experience...you want to do all that you can for someone, and when you can't come through, we feel guilt. But in your case, it's completely okay...you need alone time and he should understand that.

Answer 10

you probably feel guilt because you are very sensitive to the feelings of others whether they are deserving of your affection or not...some people can be overly generous with their kindness to others...put to death this feeling of guilt by simply telling your friend that you need more breathing room than usual for the time being, if this is a true friend he will understand and support your desires til you feel  otherwise..if there is no agreement then you may be caught up in self denial as to your needs and then the option may end up being parting of the ways...say something, the sooner the better for both of you

Answer 11

Sounds to me that you love him and all you want to do is make him happy.  So when you take alone time and he feels sad about it you feel guilty.  You might be feeling like you are being a little selfish.  Don't worry about the guilt trip.  You have to be happy to be able to make him happy.