Why do we have to hide our real selves? Why can't we be just ourselves purely, boldly and openly all the time?

Question

Why do we have to hide our real selves? Why can't we be just ourselves purely, boldly and openly all the time?

Answer 1

Good Question, many of us do make an effort to hide our true self!

Some are more open, here in Yahoo we all have various avatars, some will be close to how we see ourselves others will be very different from how we see ourself, but Ironically closer to how we are seen, and many will be a long way off from either of the two!

I am talking about this place at the moment because it is a reflection on real life, but even in the real world, people are not so different!

How well does anyone really know themselves?

You may have seen this;

http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-P.RtCqAic...

IT takes time to understand you we are and much more time to understand others, it all depends on how much you are shown and how much you choose to see.

This is me, a little glimpse anyway.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sl5eTLruV...

And this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ism5QT2B0...

More to come, maybe in the future even I will be a little clearer!

Answer 2

Have to?  You mean we chose to, so as to fool others, but we are fooling ourselves too. I chose to be myself always, so that whether I am liked or disliked, I know it is for what I really am. And better to know that I am disliked for what I really am than to know that I am liked for what I am not, for then the one that is being liked is not me at all.

Answer 3

benjamin straight writes:  We are taught to be 'front stage' all of the time for social graces.  That is not necessarily a bad thing; the restraints imposed allow for a predictable social playing field and greases the rails of communication.

Answer 4

people need solitude to find the direction they wish to travle but rather than going froward they come in to these virtual worlds and lose them selves in it. beliving they have found what they need but they only get shadows of the people they are needing to find.

Answer 5

Good question, Small.

Sometimes its a matter of self preservation. There are things about all of us that fall outside the accepted...we hide these things because we fear the ridicule, the subtle ostracizing that revealing them causes.

Sometimes its a matter of our own need to keep something purely for ourselves. I know, myself, that there are a couple of things I am unwilling to share with the world at large. They mean too much to me, and I will not justify, or defend them.

We are taught to conform, yet at the same time, we are taught to be individuals...both with equal intensity. Its a very confusing thing. We hide behind the mundane, socially acceptable standards because we must, never realizing that it is the movers and the shakers (trite expression but it works) that set the standards we toil to conform to.

Answer 6

You are asking about "transparency" as some call it, or authenticity.   I think it's a grand idea, and with our trusted friends it is important to be this "what you see is what you get" person.   It is also important to be accepting of who others are when they are their true selves.

But I think there is necessity in being guarded in certain situations with certain people. Sometimes we must wear masks.  Like it or not we are vulnerable to people who would use our vulnerability for their fortune. That could be as simple as gossip, or as devious as sabotage.  It basically opens you to abuse.

This may sound jaded, but I find that the reason that we can't always have the mask off, is that the atmosphere in this world isn't always condusive to our Pure Bold Open breathing.

Answer 7

Human nuture

Answer 8

Because sometimes being totally honest can hurt somebody.

Answer 9

Hah, but we can.......There are those who lived up to the social norms, those who infatuate with pleasing the world and pursuing and embracing society's expectations. The regulars... Then, there are those who step outside the circle of normality, those who are confident about themselves, who are not intimidated by the boundaries of social expectations. The outcasts perhaps, but certainly more impenetrable, don't you think?

Answer 10

There are aspects of ourselves that are hidden memories,body processes,and abilities.we don't always know what is happening with us until we meet challenges from outer trials and conditions. Also,this society doesn't want the whole of us only little parts at a time.

Answer 11

Firstly because we are humans.  We have evolved further from quadrupeds.

Secondly we live in a  sophisticated society where we are not supposed to express or display our feelings openly ( like animals do) because of etiquette/mannerism.

We being humans, we have capacity to think generally more than animals.  We rationalize things and make a move accordingly.  

If we start acting on impulse, say an angry person may not think twice and fatally hurt another.  He uses his thinking power to Analise the situation and act as the situation demands.

This applies also when upon seeing a hot he/she one does not immediately respond like animals, instead wait for the right moment, cunning that we humans are.

Every human has two faces, a mask below the face, a devil inside. (Ain't there some song like that by IN XS?)

Answer 12

Being totally true to ones tastes and feelings and expressing them openly, would lead to criminal behavior, or a criminal reaction from those exposed to that expression. I am not talking just merely offensive behavior or an offensive reaction from those exposed to my behavior. I am talking behavior or reactions to that behavior that are downright worthy of the death penalty. So the mask that we wear in social settings is more than just a means to stifle our creativity or expressiveness, but it is also a way to suppress the very urges within us that could hurt others, and dissolve the social cohesion necessary for our species’ survival. I think everyone, who is honest with themselves, will acknowledge that the façade of respectability that they maintain in the public domain is necessary for them to suppress their animalistic urges – urges, which if left unchecked, could cause much harm.

Answer 13

I do it all the time and not because im scared of what people will think or anything but sometimes theres this satisfaction in not saying what im thinking or feeling. I know it sounds strange. Its kind of a greedy feeling.

Answer 14

When I was young, I hid myself from view, too timid to see all I was. As time moved on and wiser I grew, I shed some of my timidity and shouldered an air of bravado. Still older I became and now as I stand near deaths door, I stand alone to collect my reward, I stand naked, to hide no more.

Openness and boldness are normally only for the very young, or for the very old. In youth one does not know, and in old age one does not care.

Answer 15

Mevlana's Seven Advice!  

1.Cömertlik ve yardim etmede akarsu gibi ol!

2.Sefkat ve merhamette günes gibi ol!

3.Baskalarinin kusurunu örtmekte gece gibi ol!

4.Hiddet ve asabiyette ölüm gibi ol!

5.Tevazu ve alçakgönüllülükte toprak gibi ol!

6.Hosgörüde deniz gibi ol!

7.Ya oldugun gibi görün,ya göründügün gibi ol!

Mevlana's Seven Advice!  

  



1.In helping others and modesty be like a River!

2.In compassion and grace be like Sun!

3.In concealing others' faults be like Night!

4.In anger and fury be like Death!

5.In humility and modesty be like Earth!

6.In tolerance be like a Sea!

7.Either exist as you are or be as you look!

Also, an old Dutch saying,

"act normal and that will be strange enough"

A rapper  said

"Doe normaal want dan doe je al raar genoeg"

Act normal cuz’ then you’re acting weird enough

Answer 16

I have never hid my real self.  I have always been true to myself.  If people don't like me for myself, I don't care.  If people like me then we become true friends.  I am happy with myself and I like me.  I will never be anything different.

Answer 17

I guess it very much depends on the "real self" you WANT to reveal? You have to fit in with society and norms. Some people like to go round naked.... but the rest of us don't want to go shopping in Sainsburys and see the naturist with their dangly bits at the deli counter!

If there is a massive discrepancy between who you feel you really are and what you "pretend" to be and "present" to the world then you are never going to be happy. People do fake it to a certain extent, to fit in and be accepted but there are levels of fakeness! And everyone NEEDS to get in touch with their real self periodically.

ADDED - oh dear oh dear oh dear... seems like someone has a bad case of the grumps, dishing out thumbs down for answers saying something they don't want to hear. So... why ask the question if you aren't going to like the responses if they aren't what you have already decided they should say?

Answer 18

We need to hide our weakness so that other people will take advantages of us.

Answer 19

Because if we show are real self ,we will feel that we will become vulnerable and be taken advantage of. Humans are very protective and always are afraid of hurt , humiliation, and abused , therefore they hide not from themselves but from others. It is this fear that keeps humans from being themselves.

Answer 20

Because by being ourselves, we mirror the weaknesses in  others.  That's something people can't handle.  It's a lot easier to put on an act than to tell the truth.  It makes people feel better about themselves and it also makes them appear more likeable to others.  If people were honest, they wouldn't have any friends.