Why do we learn life's most important lessons too late? What are we supposed to do with them then?

Question

I'm the youngest child of 8. My mother died, quite unexpectedly, when I was 28. Now I'm 34, my Dad is 72, and he is in mid-stage Alzheimer's. I wasn't a horrible child. They both know that I love them. But I look back on all the stupid, asinine, hateful things we said and did as kids and all I can think is "We didn't get it." You know, your parents are supposed to be immortal to a degree, so you can afford to be embarrassed to be seen with them for 5 years or so. Then you learn that they aren't immortal, and that's 5 years none of us will ever get back. I don't know if this even makes sense at this point........but now that I understand all these things I'm basically out of parents. I haven't had grandparents for over 20 years. It seems like I would have been better off not ever "getting it." But I did, so there must be a reason---I'm just clueless as to what it could possibly be.

Choose to answer all that mess in any way you see fit. Sorry.

Thank you.

Answer 1

Please to let go of the past as it no longer exist and the burden of carrying it in this present moment will stop you from living in this present moment.

IN the past, you were neither a good child nor a bad child, a good person or a bad person.  You were simply who you were at that moment in time and that moment has passed.

Everything that you have ever done, witnessed or learned of has brought you to where you are now in this present moment.

If you changed any part of it, would you be here as you are now?  You would be a different person and not necessarily one who is either more or less beneficial to yourself and to others than you are now.

Be who you are now.

Breathe, be and live in the present moment.

Answer 2

here's a song i dedicate to you

(bye bye - mariah carey)

This is for my peoples who just lost somebody

Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady

Put your hand way up high

We will never say bye (no, no, no)

Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins

This is for my peoples who lost their grandmothers

Lift your head to the sky 'cause we will never say bye

As a child there were them times

I didn't get it but you kept me alive

I didn't know why you didn't show up sometimes

It's something more than saying "I miss you"

But when we talked too

All them grown folk things

Separation brings

You never let me know it

You never let it show because

You loved me and obviously

There's so much more left to say

If you were with me today face to face

I never knew I could hurt like this

And everyday life goes on like

"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"

"I wish I could find a way try not to cry"

As time goes by

And soon as you reach a better place

Still I'll give the whole world to see your face

And I'm right here next to you

It feels like you gone too soon

The hardest thing to do is say bye bye

Bye bye bye bye bye bye

Bye bye

And you never got the chance to see how good I've done

And you never got to see me back at number one

I wish that you were here to celebrate together

I wish that we could spend the holidays together

I remember when you used to tuck me in at night

With the Teddy Bear you gave to me that I held so tight

I thought you were so strong

That you can make it through whatever

It's so hard to accept the fact you're gone forever

Bye bye bye bye bye bye

Bye bye bye bye bye bye

Bye bye bye bye bye bye

Bye bye

Answer 3

Its too late to regain that time, but its not too late to share your wisdom and help others avoid that loss. Take comfort in that.

Answer 4

You seem like an intelligent person so I'm going to recommend to you a study source that will expose you to the meaning Of life Eternal and how we relate to it now.

http://www.urantia.org

Urantia is an ancient name for Earth.

I'm 73 and have three children, six Grandchildren, and one Great grandchild, I to have my physical problems as does my wife of 50 years. I can assure you that there is nothing in all  eternity that any one of these precious children can do that I would not forgive or that I would set in judgment of. I to have done my share of things I would love to do over and sense I will survive as will all my children we can work this out on the other side.

Answer 5

You're mature enough now to appreciate good counseling.

Give a call to 1-800-525-LOVE http://www.klove.com 24-7 and

1-800-232-6459 M-F business hours ask for Counseling dept., tell your story and concerns.

Other, print resources of considerable value:

"The Path of the Higher Self," Mark Prophet,

"A Spiritual Approach to Parenting:  Secrets of Raising the 21st Century Child," Marilyn Barrick, Ph.D.,

"The Great Divorce," C. S. Lewis,

"Testimony of Light," Helen Greaves,

"Hope's Boy," Andrew Bridge,

"Hope Rising," Kim Meeder,

"When Invisible Children Sing," Dr. Chi Cheng Huang,

"The New Strong-Willed Child," Dr. James Dobson.

Poster:  "Teenagers...move out now, while you still know it all."

Answer 6

"you don't appreciate it till it's gone" ...  true of lovers and great people we don't call hero's until their dead.

Answer 7

god gives the strongest people the worst cause he  knows they can handle it. People die but think of all those kids who never got parents had to grow up on the street you are lucky one. Life will get better ull find your own family and have ur own kids and get to be a parent and your parents will be watching over you seeing everthing they taught you has been passed on and what a good job your doing

Answer 8

you live, you learn. and if you don´t learn soon enough, can´t change the past. . . get over it.

Answer 9

I think the answers are always there but we just don't believe them until it is time. Nothing is "too late" if you believe that life is good. We can do nothing about the past (any more than we can really do anything about the future) so . . . . let it go.

Answer 10

that is the experience that u get from life