Why do weddings cause so many arguements over money?

Question

Why do families almost always fight over who is supposed to pay what and why do the bride and groom sometimes just expect that their parents will foot the bill? And why do some people argue over things like the colour of the flowers, the size of the cake, the guest list? Its insane. I thought getting married was supposed to be a happy time?

Answer 1

well for 1, they are insanely expensive.  Bride and Groom's parents sometimes want to feel like they are the more important set of parents, because they are "paying more" or they want their input since they are paying.

Bride and Groom have to plan everything and if money gets tight, it gets stressful and don't want everyone giving their 2 cents.  While everyone paying feels they are entitled to it (which is understandable. I'd want a BIT of a say if I was paying for my kid's wedding too.)  As for the guest list, bride and groom usually have a set number of guests they want, and parents usually say "well don't forget your 8th cousins' brother-in-law's friend" lol.  Parents don't want anyone calling them saying "why wasn't I invited" which most people don't but they think they will.

My fiance and I are paying for our own wedding, not asking anyone for money.  If they chose to pay some it will be a gift and we will most likely say something like "oh great! this will pay for our marriage certificate" or something like that so they know it is for something specific and they have no say in the flowers when their money is going to help with the rental of chairs or something.

That being said, we are having a small wedding, only 50 - 60 guests and only close friends and family but if my mom says "do you mind inviting this close friend" I'll do it.  As long as she doesn't get carried away.  Most of her friends are already on our list as they have been in my life for most of it, and I feel very close to them.

Answer 2

Getting married is a happy occasion, but organisational issues are no fun. Most of the things people tend to want are insanely expensive, and if the parents are paying for something, they expect to have a say in the decision too.

Answer 3

It's just a streesful time especially for the bride and especially if the bride and groom are paying as we did also. I thought many times during our planning the same thing but the stress is overwhelming and can get to us!

~MLF~

Answer 4

ok

my fiance and i are firm believers in

if your old enuff to get married...your old enuff to pay for it...

we are paying for our own wedding... we have had offers but... we decline...another good reasont to pay for it yourself is ( no one can tell you wat to do)

and the reason ppl arguee = Bridezillas who want everything

theres your reason... some women need ot be slapped

Answer 5

I think it boils down to differing priorities compounded by egos.

Your parents want to show off to every person they ever knew.  Men tend to be easy-going and minimalists.  Girls are often trained from a young age to dream of their wedding day.  And "tradition" dictates that the brides parents foot the bill for almost everything but these days the couple often pays or sometimes both parents will chip in equally and that causes difficulties, too.

Answer 6

We are paying ourselves for it and we agree on the financials of it. As for the colour of the flowers dress etc That is my choice.

We opted to have the large parts in place before we told anybody so we'd have nor arguments on that.

Besides I will do it my way anyway. I have accepted my mothers request to invite 4 people that are mostly her friends. One couple as they are a sort of surrogate aunt and uncle, one very dear old friend of hers that would not be able to attend but loves the little bit of attention and my deceased uncles gf that I have only met once. This for family politics reasons. She will not attend anyway

Other than that I am having my bouquet made by my MIL as it is a hobby of hers and with two sons, she will never be the MOB, but this way she feels she is contributing significantly to the bride.

I am finding most of the wedding prep quite easy this way.

Answer 7

Because weddings cost a fortune...