Why do women do this sometimes?

Question

to be clear, L*****n dating a lot more complicated than hetero dating. I could obviously tell that this women was inexperienced as far as dating women. However, it was she who had made the first move by inviting me to this "thing." She had given me every reason to believe that there was a genuine interest. As the night wore on, it became evident that there was at least a certain level of sexual attraction between the two of us based on her signals. In the end, she actually said she had had flings with women but no actual dating which is why she didn't think she was g*y. I still think she is interested but she's probably very unsure of herself.

Answer 1

women (especially young ones) love playful flirting-they don't necessarily see it as a precursor to something more. once they realize (maturity)that flirty behavior sends mixed messages, they learn to curtail it if they do not want it to go further (assuming they are not a "headcase"). Sometimes when it "comes down to business" they chicken out-they may want to but have been conditioned to "wait", or they fail to realize the connection between previous behavior and their date's interpretation of it.

my advice-date more mature women or let your date make the first move-no ambiguity there!

Answer 2

D:

Sorry to hear that...

yeah happends

There is a scientific explanation of this, that says that the frontal lobe of some people is not working properly, so they are not 100% aware of what they are doing, and they realize it later...

This is when they change their mind lol

((((({{{{[[[[This was in a book by a female psychologist, to give advice to males on dating, it said that this was more common in females, but that it wasn't yet proven. This happened to me before, my almost gf changed her mind in a so ridiculous way that a friend ended up giving me the book, but when i returned it to him he lost it.

The autor was probably something like jane carter or joanh carter...dont remeber sorry]]]]}}}})))))

Answer 3

I don't know, girls like to play with other people emotions a lot, specially with men.

Answer 4

EDIT 2: I'd say you're right. She is interested, but not sure. She might need a bit more wooing or she might reconsider altogether. Take your time, and maybe next time you go out, try a different venue to end the night, one that doesn't have and possible negative 'memories'. A change can make a big difference in the end result. But, as I said before, with straight girls, you are likely to be disappointed. She could be playing you, or she could be shy. Take care of you by making sure you don't push things, let her make the moves.

~*~*~*~

EDIT: No offence ~ I understand what you mean about the signals, it IS hard and it is confusing and it is NOT always fair! Believe me, I do know exactly what you are talking about. I just didn't want to write a novel ... it sucks bigtime but it happens, is the thing.

And look at it this way ~ if you were the one who changed YOUR mind, you'd want that respected too, wouldn't you? I mean, you're not suggesting people 'owe' s*x to someone they've sent the wrong signals to?

She's got to be able to change her mind, and you have to be able to accept it, or at some stage she's an unwilling participant ... and that gets kinda ugly. And I'm sure from what you've said, that is NOT what you are into.

~*~*~*~

Are you serious?

She thought it seemed like a good idea but when it came to it, she changed her mind.

Deal with it.

There's plenty more girls out there.

And if you go out with dykes, you won't have to worry about trying to get into the heads of straight girls.

Really!

Cheers :-)

Answer 5

I have no idea.  When I was young, I never went to a man's place, or took him to mine, unless I was willing to have s*x with him, as I had no desire to spend time fending off unwanted sexual advances, something that I always found acutely embarrassing.  Why women nowadays want to do this sort of thing I do not know.

Answer 6

Maybe if you would have gotten to know her better before you "made your move" you would have known she was not g*y. Also, she could be the type who doesn't kiss on the first date.

Answer 7

On a note of seriously sensitive self reflection, what is frustrating and not quite stupid but insensitive and naive is the assumption that a person of the same s*x on a date with you is of the same sexual persuasion.

The idea of love is to truly get to know a friend or lover and be sensitive to their feelings and desires, and even more so  when they do not respond as expected, rather than label him or her "stupid" and respond with frustration and anger.

Answer 8

Who knows...women can be fickle.  Guys have to put up with it a lot.  Sometimes a woman can say no and then jump your bones.  Other times she can give you all yes signals, even undress and start having foreplay...only to stop and say no.

That's life for a man and you have experienced some of what we go thru.

Answer 9

I think the women who pull this and say the signal was "wrong" are lying-I think they `decided they weren't interested and cop out in a lie.

Answer 10

Guys do it too. I know a guy that has tons of female friends. He always hangs out, just him and one girl. He'll buy her dinner, take her out to the movies, but then he'll say he's not interested he's just being friendly. I know three girls that have cussed him out about this. Not that they didn't have fun and enjoy themselves, but that they got their hopes up only to be turned down by what seemed like a sure thing.

Some people are just the touchy feely types. Do these women know that you are g*y, that you might perceive it as a date? Maybe next time, instead of just going in for the kiss, you should ease into it by asking "Have you ever kissed/ thought about kissing a girl?" Just a suggestion...

If you're bi can you use the "D" word? I know half black people that use the N word.

Edit: She might be attracted to you, but still not want to date you. Think about it this way: even though you both flirted with each other, she thought you two were just "hanging out", you thought it was a date. Likewise, even if you fool around with her, she might consider it a "fling", while you might consider it a relationship. If that's the sort of thing you're looking for at the moment, it seems like she might go for it with a little more persuasion. However, she seems sort of flaky, like she isn't sure what she wants. She's already given you this much trouble, do you really want to invest any more into her?

Answer 11

Maybe you should make sure the woman you are pursuing is g*y first.

Answer 12

idk why girls like to play mind games. i hate them. i dated this one girl who was the queen on mind games. it sucks. why do girls have to do this. are they insecure. do they just want attention. that is my guess. i had one girl tell me she took a lot of pills one night and then she turned off her phone. i was like wtf. i freaked out of course and the next day she said she was feeling fine. i completely agree with you mind games are frustrating, stupid and childish. i mean seriously grow up.

Answer 13

Honestly? Women PLAY GAMES! Yes, men do too, but that's not who we are talking about right now. Women like to play games flirting and fauning to see if they are still attractive to anyone. I believe I am super direct and I know this, because people seem surprised when I tell them what is what, but, most women find direct to be a 'wrong' approach. They get 'more' when they play games.... And NO you shouldn't just GET OVER IT when someone plays games! You let them know, calmly and directly that they are playing games and need to cut it out. Maybe the next person won't be so nice...

Answer 14

well if you went for men you would not have that problem, they are allot better trust me