Why do women have a problem with a prenup?

Question

im 38 and been rung through the ringer once in a divorce, and still making monthly payments.since then ive worked my *** off day and night and weekends too at two jobs finaly buying out one of the businesses i worked for and working a deal for the other.bought 3 homes and some acreage and several toys.and now im thinking of marrying again but i cant help but remember the last one and want to protect myself. why do women think just by saying i do they are entitled to half of everything they had no part in creating and get mad when you want to protect your assets for you and your children.by getting mad to me it just shows thier true intentions they are marrying for the money and just want to rob you in the divorce am i wrong?

Answer 1

mmm, dude, we're women.  if you don't want to share your money and pay up go suck some sausage cause bros may be more respectful.  you stupid moron.

Answer 2

You are right and you are also wrong. On the one hand, it is not unreasonable in this day and age to look at simple logic (plus your own experience) and say, "why not have this protection?"  

As for women's intentions for marrying, first off, it's impossible to make that kind of generalization and also, some women view a prenup as a sign that the your faith in a shared future is not 100% there. So in all likelihood, it's less about women marrying for money and more about the emotional element.

Cheers & Good Luck

Answer 3

I'm totally with you on this one.  I'm a divorced single mother and I've worked hard for everything I have.  I didn't take my ex-husband to the cleaners, unlike some women, and I have custody of the two children.  He's supposed to pay child support, but doesn't and also doesn't pay alimony.  Anyway, I doubt I would get remarried, simply because of the very things you've said - I seriously need to protect my assets so I can pass them on to my kids one day, and I'd be extremely unwilling to remarry, because then that would mean my husband would be entitled to half - no way!!!  I don't even trust prenups.  I know someone (a male) who is nearly bankrupt because of his ex-wife - there's no way I want that to happen to me.

Answer 4

I'm a woman and I wouldn't have a problem signing a pre-nup or asking a man to sign a pre-nup to protect MY assets.  On the other hand, I don't necessarily think someone 'balking' a little at the idea means that they're setting you up to rob you.

Answer 5

You might want to look into a DPT (Divorce protection trust).  It simply states that all of your assets that you own in this trust before getting married, cannot be touched by your spouse if you get divorced.  The good thing about it is this trust can be kept secret. A trust attorney can explain more.

Answer 6

A prenup is a requirement if either or both of you have assets. It will assign financial responsibility and benefits during the marriage as well as if it fails. It is the only responsible thing to do.  

Answer 7

They get upset with you because it shows that you are not sure if the marriage will last forever. It could make them feel as if you already have one foot out the door. Or that they wouldn't want to contribute to something that could be yanked away..such as a home or whatever. But I am with you on this...if you worked your *** off then by all means, protect yourself..you earned it and she should understand.  

Answer 8

I can't speak for other women, I can only speak for me and i have a problem with one because I think it is wrong for a man to get burned and then think that every other woman that comes along will do the same thing to him... All women are not the same just like all men are not the same...

My true intentions would be that if the guy didn't believe in me and trust me and knew me well enough to know that I am not like other women then we don't need to be thinking marriage....

Answer 9

I have no problem with prenups if a person has, or anticipates that they will have, considerable assets.  If you think it's tough finding a woman willing to sign a prenup, try finding a man willing to do the same.  I feel your pain.

Answer 10

Mate, I went through the same thing.  that is why I have sheltered many of my pre-marriage assets in trusts held off-shore that my government or Australian courts have no jurisdiction over.  I no longer think that a pre-nup demonstrates lack of trust, especially for men because the courts will almost without exception favour the woman in custody battles and property division.

I am a similar age to you, and I also went through years of financial recovery: I was told that it would cost too much to fight her claims, and that I even had to pay for her lawyer to find ways to rob me!  I am sure if the genders were reversed, she would not have been forced to pay for my lawyer.

It might seem dishonest to protect my assets in this way, but I beg to differ: if I worked hard to build an asset portfolio, I should have every right to protect it from a grasping woman.  If my "true intentions" can be determined by women as lacking trust in my marriage, so can her unwillingness to allow a man to protect what is his.  You point this out, and I say you are quite right.  It is not as if the courts would give me any rights to the property she had when she entered the marriage.

I have barely mentioned children and their effect on property settlements, but I see injustices there too, and feel I have to protect myself against the system too.

Good question!

Answer 11

This is what a lot of people(not just woman.... mostly woman) would think:

You don't trust her.

You think she only wants you for money.

You don't think the marriage will get far.

I don't know why people refuse to get prenups these days. It just seems like a good idea... and like you said... you want to protect your assets for yourself and your children.

Among other things... if a prenup is a deal breaker for her then you're better off looking elsewhere anyway. Maybe try enlightening her on what it's like to be put through a biased court system that thinks the wife is always the victim and should get the money/the house/the car/the kids and leaves dad with the bills and the second jobs and the looming threat of jail time if you can't pay child support. Maybe that'll change her tune.

Answer 12

Cuz beeches want half your zhit.

Answer 13

You're not wrong for wanting a prenup, you're smart.  Now the other side.  I did sign one but it really bothered me.  I felt like he didn't believe our marriage would work and was preparing for a divorce before we even got married.  I also felt he might think I was marrying him for his money.  It was a sore subject for a long time, but I got over the hurt feelings.  Get the prenup and give her time to realize it wasn't anything against her.  GOOD LUCK ON YOUR MARRIAGE!!!!

Answer 14

unfortunately some are only in it for what they can get from you in the end. some honest women may feel that the trust isn't there and get upset that her man could have such feelings about the relationship. they feel that he is planning an end before there is even a beginning. I completely understand the way you feel and you should sit the lady that you plan to marry down and let her know that you are protecting your children's future and that you know the two of you will be together forever and this is but a security issue for you.