Why do women ignore the Groom?

Question

What i mean to say is, why is it HER day only...wether they admit it or not, alot of us guys actually are just excited about the wedding and the planning but i see so often post on here where people seem to ignore the fact that its our day too. I feel lucky that my fiance has let me have a huge hand in planing the wedding, from finding the perfect place to even giving some help with the bridesmaid dresses, but i always seem to get werid looks when people find out im the groom and not the g*y maid of honor lol. So why is it Her day and not THEIR day?

Answer 1

Oftentimes the men actually don't want to have to bother with any of it, and when asked for help or opinions, say they don't care. Some men do care, though, and if they're marrying someone who's right for them, the bride will share the planning and whatnot with him. I've seen it both ways. If the groom does care, though, and the bride is still doing everything her way only, it's probably because there's some type of communication problem between the two of them, and it's not necessarilly only the bride's fault.

Answer 2

It's MY day rather than OUR day because I've been stuck with the planning, being the one who's a) not writing a thesis and b) more interested in getting something planned and out of the way than in seeing every single possible option and taking 6 months to make a choice.

Answer 3

That is a broad generalization. I can say thankfully nobody I've known personally has ever used the phrase "it's MY day!".

Answer 4

When my husband and I had gotten married almost a year ago he had been involved with all the wedding plans. We picked out flowers together, the cake, the food, the music and the site. The only thing he did not do was go dress shopping with me. I wanted my dress to be a surprise and also I wanted to share that moment with my mom and sister (Both my mom and my sister were in my wedding party).

I made sure that everyone referred it to our day instead of mine.

Congrats on the upcoming wedding and I wish you and your fiancee all the happiness in the world.  

Answer 5

I think it is because alot of women assume that the men aren't interested. I know my FH isn't. I wish he wanted to help more, but he is happy for me to make most of the decisions about OUR big day. You FW is lucky to have your help!

Answer 6

If the groom is like me, I am so glad I can just kick back and not worry about the organisation of the day, suits me down to the ground. The prefect wedding is when the groom just has to show up, drink a few beers and get laid at the end of the night, without letting the parents know the wedding is actually taking place

Answer 7

Social conditioning? one thing to point out...if men act like they aren'tt interested, then people cant be expected to know they are.

but anyway... to be honest, I think my Fiance is having most of the say! he booked the first meeting with the vicar at the church local to his mothers as a surprise (so he chose the church) he also chose the venue, and the caterer, the master of ceremonies, the hire crockery/tables/chairs, the DJ, the photographer & videographer.... i think you get the point. I chose the colour scheme with him, but chose my dress, BM's dresses and we chose the groom and groomsmens suits together, designed the stationary together.... thing is... he's better at choosing the ones he chose than I would be anyway!

I'm glad you're involved in your big day, it belongs to both of you and would never be as special for you if you just "turned up on the day"

My favourite quote that I've come across doing this whole wedding...

"if people put as much effort into their marriage as they do their wedding, we'd have a lot less divorce" I know we don't like thinking about divorce in this section, but remember its one day, the biggest most important day, yes... but its what its about and what it is the beginning of that matters most to me. If you can do that truly together, then you're on the right path!

Good luck!

Answer 8

Because they're selfish! I'm engaged and my fiance helps me with absolutely everything. I even asked him to tell me what kind of dress he imagines me in. It's OUR day. It's OUR lives that are coming together. I'm glad you found someone who cares about your opinions too. Good luck with everything and happy marriage!  

Answer 9

You have found a rare and exceptional lady.

Mostly, the grooms are ignored - it is " her " day and that is that.

It is just the way it is, and it is reinforced through advertising.

PEACE and HAPPINESS.

Answer 10

Because most grooms don't want to be involved, so we're "conditioned" to not worry about that fact. When a groom does care, it's refreshing. However, we go into "shock" and have strange looks on our faces.  ;-)   Don't take it personal.  

Answer 11

It's just an old cultural attitude that's slowly changing. I think it has as much to do with men as with women - most of the men I know could not care less about the bridesmaids' dresses, tablecloths, centerpieces, etc - all the little details that a lot of women really enjoy micromanaging. But it's great that you and your fiancee are both into making those decisions together!

Answer 12

some women are just self-centered in the thought that it's their day and it needs to perfect.

but in other cases, a lot of women don't like their fiances helping with the wedding. they like it to be much of a suprise when their husbands-to-be see what they've done or how their dress looks on them. it's up to them i guess.

but from this second forth, i'll start saying it's THEIR day. both bride and groom.  

Answer 13

oh, he is getting his day too... he insisted on a keg, and I'm letting him have it.

Answer 14

My groom has been as involved as much as HE wants to be.  Which is quite a bit, however, that being said.. every time that I ask him a question about his opinion on something his response is "Whatever makes you happy".  While I understand his desire to make this day special for ME... It is also my desire to make this day special for HIM.

I think that your bride is lucky that you want to be involved, but most of the time thats just not the case.

Good luck and congrats to BOTH of you.  

Answer 15

I always correct people when they make that slip up, always say 'well it's his day too!' I really get the s***s with people who think it's all about the bride and everyone else had just better make their own fun on the day. wtf? That's not very nice imho.

Answer 16

Arrogance.  Many women are conditioned from youth to have this princess fantasy and an $8,000 rock as a birthright.  What saddens me most is actually the way many bridezillas turn on their friends during it all.

I feel lucky that my girlfriend expects me to make a number of the choices, too.  We've started talking about our own.

I'm sorry that you're going through it at the stores.

Answer 17

I'd have to agree with you. It is every much the Groom's day as it is the Bride's. That's why my fiance and I are making equal decisions on the event.

BUT I do understand that a majority of woman (not men) are told from a young age to dream of their perfect day (which is usually referred to as the wedding). Although that still doesn't give a reason to shut the groom out.

[[coming from a woman's point of view]]