Why do women (myself) tend to date the same type of men over and over again?

Question

here's a quick background on my situation...

I'm 22 and have dated 4-5 guys (which i have been the one who gets dumped every time)...I have the tendency to always date thugs or the bad boy type...(I am very career oriented as a matter of fact i have big plans for my career so I'm not into the thug life at all) it's just that for some reason every guy that i end up dating turns out to be a gang banger i usually find out their into that lifestyle after i had already become interested in them. I always tell myself that this will be the last time i date a bad boy...but why do I keep ending up with them? i don't mean to how do I break the pattern?

Answer 1

Take a little more time to get to know the next guy before you actually go on a date.  I understand about "bad boy appeal" it can be exciting and going out with this kind of person allows you a little taste of that kind of life without actually being that kind of person.  Fortunately you realize that that type of guy is not what you want long term

Write down three to four characteristics you want in a man and then seek out guys that fit the bill.  Keep in mind that no one is perfect, but it is great to have high standards.

Answer 2

Sometimes these people are just more interesting and attractive because of just being different..I think we women can get bored with men just like they get bored with their women.  Good men  need to be interesting and challenging in a good way and not in a bad way.

You can be a nice guy and still create some excitement in life. It takes a "good man"  who cares about how he affects his woman to see this. There is of course no future in the bad guys...Nothing you ever want to live with. You end up being their caretakers in the end...

Just know and learn YOU are important and you deserve a good life with someone who is exciting and good at the same time. Good men don't have to be boring !   Build up your own self image and you will eventually see which ones are the bad guys more clearly.

Change your own thought patterns and see things take a change for the good. You deserve the greatest life you can achieve and the best partner you can ever know...

You should get this personalized book of affirmations just about YOU that can and will change your life. You don't have to settle for second best but go after the best because YOU deserve it !!!

See this great book I found on the site below and fill out the first page and you can see it before you actually get it for yourself. Many people are using this one to encourage themselves and also just to grow into the person they want to become. You can work on yourself and see things change for you. I am a believer in this !!!  You will not ever in this life change someone else no matter how bad you would like to, it won't happen.

Answer 3

Sometimes an event in ones childhood or adolescence causes people to have a linear view on things.

Maybe at one point in your childhood you saw a "bad boy" being nice to a family member of yours, and from that moment on, you had a sub-conscious thought that "bad boys" are not really bad. But this thought was only sub-conscious, and your primary thoughts are not to date them.

Or maybe you were brought up with "Nice guys end up last" or something that caused you to believe that "Bad Guys" are the way to go.

At any rate, look at how the pattern started, and what you think might have contributed to your preference, and try switching it. Before you can change, you have to understand.

Answer 4

Before you "become interested" find out what kind of person they are.  Make sure they have the high goals for themselves like you do for yourself, and don't let them come anything less than what you want them to be.

Answer 5

You are attracted to this kind of person because it feels comfortable, .....don't accept this, you are as good if not better than the other people that judge you.

You are what you are! be yourself embrace it, enjoy it, you don't need to carry on as you are, branch out and explore the possibility that you deserve to be happy.

Life is too short to be worrying about what others think, word of wisdom (yeah I know I'm old but still only 42, just eventful life!') If you are involved/caught up with a situation/person you don't feel comfy with, make the most to enjoy what you are able too.....

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