Why do women preach so much about LOVE when they are responsible for 80% of divorces?

Question

Not sure of 80% is correct, but I know women initiate over 70% of divorces.

Now with that said.... why is it that women are aways saying things like "If you love someone, THIS should not matter or THAT should not matter." and "If you love someone you will accept THIS and THAT..." Etc...

I don't hear men talking this non-sense. YET, women are the ones who usually LEAVE.. not men.

So how can women preach about all this LOVE, then turn around and leave a guy for some silly reason. Abuse and cheating is a small percentage of men. So women are leaving for OTHER reasons.

Yet men get attack for leaving a woman for petty reasons.

Hypocrisy??

Answer 1

There is a huge difference from initiating a divorce and what causes a divorce.

So if a man beats, financially destroys, etc.. a woman she should not initiate a divorce?

Answer 2

I think you're getting your statistics mixed up.  70% of divorces does not equate to 70% of women.  70% of women do not walk out on marriages so women as a whole are not being hypocritical.  Those women who initiate divorce may be, but then again, you don't know if those women said this or even the reasons for their divorce.

So in other words, you're VASTLY overgeneralizing.

Answer 3

I never had a girlfriend before but I'm sure she wouldn't have a reason to say those things to me because I would be a good man to her. Not all woman are like that lighten up. Men and Woman need help they are both wrong.

Answer 4

What is your source?  You have to remember a man is much more likely to cheat than a women because men live for s*x. Hence the initiation for divorce.

Answer 5

I am thinking you may be mean that women may initiate 70% of the divorce PROCEEDINGS. This does not mean that women initiate 70 % of the CAUSES of divorce.  We love you until we find out what you men have been up to behind our backs, we get tired of it & the men and then we love you no more. In simpler terms.

Answer 6

Excellent question. Yes, it's hypocrisy.

Answer 7

I'd like to see the statistics that prove 70% of women initiate divorce proceedings and the reasons why those proceedings are initiated.  What are those "other" reasons?

Only then can you expect accurate and intelligent answers to this question.

Answer 8

Oh, really? They are responsible for 80% of divorces. Uh-huh. Initiation is NOT responsibility. Usually, though not always, the person initiating the divorce is NOT the person who CAUSED it. They are often reacting to the other person's poor marital skills. Regardless, your analysis that women do most of the leaving is inaccurate anyway. I challenge you to go out and find a professional study that backs up your charges in any way. If women do seek out more divorces than men, it is only because men are more prone to violence, neglect, and adultery. I have worked in the victim services field for over seven years, and we don't get a lot of men in who have been beaten or abused. It is statistically overwhelming that more men commit acts of domestic violence than women do. That is a fact. That, right there, distorts your random act of divorce numbers. As far as less extreme acts of divorce- people change. Irreconcilable differences happen. That is life. But you'll be hard-pressed to find a professional study that shows that there is a gender-specific causation here. There is no hypocrisy, except in individual circumstances. More often than not both parties are at fault.

Answer 9

If your numbers are correct, I'm guessing it's because they aren't happy with their men?

Mike, your beating a dead horse and comparing apples to oranges. Some things can be worked through and some things can't. If gaining weight is a deal breaker for you then just be done with it. Whats so hard about that?

Just make sure you let her know who you are and what your about before she goes in to deep with you.

Answer 10

I found a lot of sources that say that women are often the initiaters  of divorce.  

But if those women hadn't done it, how many of their husbands would?

Also, just because the woman is the filer doesn't mean that she is responsible for the break down of a marriage.  What about cheating, abuse, rape, responsibilities, etc? that could cause a woman to want to divorce.

You forget that women are still considered the caretakers of of children and elderly, while men are not.  Women are not equal yet, and when we point it out it is ignored.  If a man had to pay his wife for everything she did (on and hourly basis) she would make $100,000+ a year.  The majority of the elderly on public assistance are women, because they get get less social security for years they were out of the work force (meaning caring for others).  These are examples that inequality still exists.  This means that women are under more pressure than men recognize, which would obviously cause tension.  This could be part of the reason, I am not saying it is all of it.

And abuse and cheating is actually pretty prevalent.  In I think 14 states it is still legal for a husband to force his wife to have s*x (or rape her).  The reason the actual statistics aren't as high is because of the idea that men are in control.  Many are afraid to report it.  Some think that they have to be married and stay in a bad relationship longer.  Divorce has allowed women to take control of their lives.

Answer 11

I wouldn't say that women are "responsible" for 80% of divorces.  That's a ridiculous thing to say and not true I am sure.  More than likely the blame lies on both sides or the man in some cases.  Divorce is up because people spend so much time trying to find the perfect love instead of perfecting the love they're in.

Answer 12

First of all, it takes two to make a successful marriage and it takes two to make an unsuccessful marriage. More women file for divorce but who files has nothing to do with who walked. Sometimes the woman files because of the man making a chivalrous gesture, allowing his wife to not appear the jilted party.Sometimes the woman files because they're already separated and the man could care less if he ever has the piece of paper that would allow him to remarry one day, he'd rather not be bothered with the details.  Sometimes he puts off finalizing the whole thing because once the divorce is final his child support obligations will be enforced. And sometimes the woman files because she is the one who wants the marriage to end.

Now if you want to compare how many of each gender actually say "this is it, one of us is moving", you can't do it. A reliable study has never been done to acertain how many of each gender are responsible, the closest thing is a survey done in Cosmo and I just don't consider Cosmo readers to be a good representation of the overall population. Two people really know what went wrong in a marriage and more times than not they don't look at the end without their rose colored glasses filtering their own behavior.

Next point....The person who finally calls it quits for good may or may not be the one at fault. Should a woman stay in a relationship if she's being beaten? If her husband hasn't had a job since the day after the wedding when he quit so his wife could support him should she make the best of it, or should a man for that matter?

I do blame one certain type of woman for contributing to the divorce rate but it has nothing to do with who leaves, it has to do with a bad coupling in the first place which results in eventual divorce. Before they marry they say all those things about accepting him for who he is, and loving him so much nothing else matters. Yea, right. Until they get back from the honeymoon when they go about their plan of changing the poor guy and eliminating any habit or trait that annoys them. You gotta marry the package, warts and all. If you're able to teach him a few table manners or teach him to remember your birthday, great but you can't marry a guy while deal breakers are still a part of his personality. If he cheated during the engagement he's going to cheat on the marriage, if he picks his nose in public before the marriage he will pick his nose during the marriage. If he slaps you around before, he's not going to stop when you have a marriage license glued in the scrapbook.

The other thing that some  women do that contributes to the divorce rate is to marry for the wrong reasons.  They are in love with being in love, they need a man to complete them, they have such a poor self image that they need a man to live through  so they get impatient and marry the first nice looking guy with a good job who proposes.

Finally, the high divorce rate is more laziness than anything. After WWII America began to change. the new products and technologies brought to us made life easier. Frozen food arrived and people stopped growing their own produce, would you believe eating TV dinners was a status symbol in midle ? People drove more and walked less, they used appliances to do the jobs that had been so labor intensive previously. Some of this was good sure, but the whole package led to laziness. It was inevitable that before long couples would no longer have the energy and pateince to work at a marriage, they wanted success to be instant like everything else was.

We're finally coming around with people realizing that "New" doesn't always mean "better". We're gardening again and aknowledging that frozen food is not as nutricious, breastfeeding again is more common than bottle feeding and couples are putting time and effort into their marriage.

In 2006 the divorce rate was it's lowest in 37 years and it continues to decline. Maybe one day soon people will only get married for the right reasons and when they do they'll make the committment to put the required work in to make it successful. We can only hope :)

Answer 13

Well let's see, I filed for divorce because I hadn't seen my husband in about a year. So I would say that woman file for divorce more often because men are too lazy to do it themselves.

I couldn't afford to have him slopping up my finances forever. It's hard to love a guy who walked out on you. But, I never preached much LOVE to anyone. Not really a romantic, could explain why I have been happily married for 15 years this time.

Answer 14

Oh, this is not an easy question to answer; not does it deserve a flamboyant reply.  From the beginning had "Gabe" he's my 1st ever thought we had a fighting chance, even though we cared deeply for each other, we would have stayed; the cards were stacked against us; for me he was an excuse; an excuse that doesn't matter any more; for him he believed that he had to get married; his reasons don't matter anymore; when the two get mixed it always spells trouble.  When we first met he actually thought of his friend "Sam"; only thing was "Sam" wasn't to be found. Yes, the same "Sam" I'm married to now. For 3 years we both put our best foot forward. Listen Mike telling someone you want a divorce is no easy feat; trust me. You have to consider the other person as well as yourself. Then, no matter how bad or good the marriage was; when it's all over you feel a sense of failure and loss; where for a while you actually question why didn't love work?  I know I did. Although; I felt no love for him I still had that one question at the forefront of my mind.  As we all know time is a good healer; only when we face the challenge of being and wanting to be healed.  Wrong Mike when you love someone you will let them know what you accept and what you will not accept.

Answer 15

The problem here is that you're looking at women as a whole rather than as individuals.

Yes, a lot of women think it's stupid to break up with someone you love over small reasons. And yes, a lot of women do serial-marry guys and then divorce them and take everything. Is it possible, though, that we are talking about two distinct groups of women here? That the women who preach love are not the same women who get divorced for silly reasons? I'm sure there is SOME overlap between the two groups, and those women are certainly hypocrites. But that does not mean that ALL of us are.

Answer 16

So!!!Most women file for divorce because their spouses are not trustworthy, abusive, irresponsible, and'/or slovenly. Women have, FINALLY, realized that they don't need a husband who has no concern for responsibility.  I discovered when I  did research for my Masters degree, that folks love the things that give them what they want; including me.  So, get off your misogynist pedestal, and look at reality.

Answer 17

Some women get married for the wrong reason or think a man is gonna change when he gets married.  im glad I dont have that problem...i actually think my relationship will last just the way it is...no rush to get MARRIED...its just a word.  its like when you are on a diet...it makes you want the bad foods more...

Answer 18

Surely men and women share responsibility for 100% of divorces? You can provide any statistics you like, statistics can be manipulated to prove anything, and as a result, prove nothing.

Answer 19

first off, women don't preach about love but males typically confuse love with s*x.  second of all, divorce is a reaction to a bad situation and since 98% of married men cheat (you can look that up), it's surprising 30-40% end up staying with the dawg (sorry dogs).  Third of all, how did you find out what the 'silly reasons' were in 70-80% of those divorces and fourth, men don't get 'attacked' for leaving a woman for 'petty reasons' - they get thanks.