Why do women seem to get confused between "chivalry" and "courtesy"?

Question

Chivalry no longer exists in this day and age. Whatever it is you're thinking of it is NOT 'chivalry'.

Chivalry was a military code binding the warlords (knights) in the mediaeval era. It was nothing particularly to do with respect or courtesy and it was nothing particularly to do with women. It was only to do with disciplining the 'serfs' (the men and women who were our ancestors).

(If you thought it was a "woman thing" then you've been watching too many Hollywood films!)

So shouldn't we get rid of this "chivalry" business out of our minds and instead just concentrate on being courteous and respectfully to each other. And remember that it is a two-way street?

Answer 1

Thanks Celtish...I'll consider myself one of the ignorant ones.  I never knew that - so thanks for the info!!

I love a COURTEOUS man - and endeavor, always, to ensure they feel appreciated for their acts of kindness and respect.

Answer 2

@Professor Dingbat: Please note that "gentlemen" and "gentlewomen" (i.e. members of the gentry) did not exist in the mediaeval era. And it's funny how what were formerly regarded as "mere males" are suddenly and miraculously transformed into "gentlemen" whenever the word chivalry is mentioned!

Answer 3

I appreciate a common courtesy greatly. I do not appreciate presumptions or condesentions.  For example, if I am entering a building with a double set of doors, and a man holds the first door open for me as a courtesy, I accept and say thank you, but what happens when I get to the second set of doors?  As a weak woman who cannot open the door for herself, should I then stand there and presume to wait for the big strong male animal to come and open it for me?  That is discourteous on my part.  I should open the second door and while I have it open I should hold it so for the male that held the first door.  That is courtesy returned for courtesy. Humans should extend courtesies for each other, it should not be a "male - female thing at all.  Courtesy and kindness should be just that.  Some men do courtesies for the wrong reasons, as an assertion of their maleness, some females defer for the wrong reasons, as a right of their femininity.  That is rude not courteous.

Answer 4

women get confused - because neither exist anymore - they think they're seeing something that USED to be a part of civilized society.

Answer 5

Agreed!

Answer 6

Chivalry is about being nice to horses.  If you go by word roots.

Answer 7

I think they have a chip on their shoulder.

Answer 8

Yes, because no man has ever referred to opening a car door as chivalrous.  *eyebrow raise*

Chivalry did not just refer to knights, it also referred to gentlemen.  Thus the modern usage of "chivalry", that being applied to generally 'courtesy' as you call those acts, is proper and traditional.  

Furthermore, using chivalry as a metaphor for the actions - i.e. that man is annoyingly chivalrous (that man has an old fashioned sense of courtesy that is equal to the old knight's code of chivalry) - is not against the laws of grammar and vocabulary.

Answer 9

Yes, you are right.  Common courtesy is totally missing in most of our society and is certainly a two-way street.  I enjoy treating people, that's right, I repeat, people, with respect and courtesy and receiving the same treatment in return. It is the foundation for advancing our civilization, I believe.