Why do women stop having s*x after they get married?

Question

Seems like a bait and switch maneuver to me..

http://www2.oprah.com/relationships/slide/20060210/rel_20060210_284_201.jhtml

http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200301/flanagan

http://www.nomarriage.com/articlesexless.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexless_marriage

Answer 1

I don't think the fact that they're married makes a great deal of difference. Ask any woman in a long term de-facto relationship what her s*x life is like. She'll tell you it isn't how it was when they got together. All relationships after a period of time, involve less s*x. Think about the first 6 months of any relationship you've been in. I bet both you and the woman couldn't get enough of each other. This wanes after a period. It's a shame, but it's what many people experience.

Answer 2

Women's requirements for being in the mood are much higher.  They have to feel good physically and emotionally.  Guys just need a place.

A lot of men are emotionally distant, which leads to women not wanting s*x, which leads to men becoming more distant.

Answer 3

Because when they look at their husbands it makes them depressed.

Answer 4

they got the man the money, house, car, they dont have to put out anymore, and if the guys not happy, shell just divorce him and take half

Answer 5

A lot of times once the woman has the ring, she doesn't feel that she has to "put out" as much.

Maybe to a large extent it depends on her personality and if she really loved you, etc.

Answer 6

wwwhhhoooo not true!! lol we still have s*x at least twice a day!! lol and maybe some women do it because what you see as a "bait and switch maneuver" on a woman's part could be a "bait and switch maneuver" on the man's part too! what i mean is alot of men think that just because they are married that there is no such thing as romance anymore and it all goes out the door. When a woman is made to feel like she is expected to have s*x without first being made intersted then why would she?!? poor people (on both sides)

Answer 7

something is wrong.

physically mentally or emotionally.....She is messed up or upset. Simple as that.

Answer 8

Whatever. That is stupid.

It is like asking why men beat women and start drinking as soon as he is married. It happens, but it is not the norm.

Just because the bad apples get noticed and receive attention, does not mean every apple in the bushel is bad.

I realize some women may use s*x to lure a man into marriage, but I have NEVER EVER known a woman to do that. Maybe my Grandma... She had four kids so she gave it up at least a few times. Honestly, marriage just isn't that good of a deal for women anymore, not good enough to go through all that deciept.... And you don't even want to have s*x with the man you want to 'trap' anyway? Unlikely.

I know women who have had less s*x after marriage because their husbands stopped romancing and courting them. Sometimes when you are suddenly treated like a room mate who gets to cook and do the laundry, you just don't feel like f*^#ing.

Other times, women still want s*x after marriage, until after certain life changes, traumatic evens, etc. If she bares your child and gains 30 lbs she may not feel s**y, especially if she senses you have an issue with it. Men bald, get beer bellies, and snore, and most of us don't act like "ew, this isnt what I married!"  If she wants to loose weight and gets the impression you care too much about her weight and looks and she will loose motivation.  

I think that when I was pregnant I was hornier than a three headed goat with a cactus in his a$$. If I thought he was thinking 'ew, not again, youre huge' I would have been crushed. I would have taken matters into my own hands while he was at work, and unfortunately, I don't get over stuff easy, so I don't know if I'd ever have done him again.

The first 6 or 7 years we were married, we did it as much or more than when we were not married. Not including a month or two after having each kid of course, but as soon as the baby slept for more than 3 hours at a time I was ready to go again. Both times, I could not even wait the 6-8 weeks I was supposed to post c-section. I had gained a ton of weight with each kid, and he never made me feel any less attractive.

When I would loose the weight I'd feel even sexier and we had s*x 2-7 times a week, depending on stuff and whatnot.

I know that if I think he thinks I look hot, the kids are away or asleep, and he hasn't been a d*&k, he is likely gonna get some. Unless I don't feel well or my hormones are off...

See, now that we have been married over 10 years, my hormones are crazy, I either really really want it, or I don't at all. He has a crazy career, and is much more stressed and tired, plus he is on Prozac. So we don't get around to it quite as much. I get the worst PMS or PMDD that anyone has ever seen. It only got this bad since I a couple of years ago. So I am mad for half a week, crying for half a week, in pain for another half a week, and then crazy horny by the third or fourth day of my cycle.Some men find women undesirable when they are menstrating, but those men will find that a woman in her thirties is likely to have a longer cycle. If she has pms,  and is not arousable during pms, then starts and her husband is all, 'ew' then he may find he is getting less tail than he'd prefer.

Some women are insecure and have had issues with that before marriage. You can sometimes make them feel more secure, but often they are going to feel that way until they get professional help. Some women get insecure during marriage when her in-laws rip her to shreds, she gains baby weight, or her hormones shift adding  few pounds to her figure and is aware that you find extra pounds repulsive because you said so when she was thin(or to mean because she gained 10 lbs when she turned 30). Oh, and people at the store call her maam. Her kids ask what the lines around her eyes are from, and dammit, you don't bring her flowers anymore! You didn't even tell her how good she looked on your anniversiry, or bought her a set or tires for your anniversery... I think you get the point. We like to adore those who adore us. Women who don't were like that before they got married unless something like infidelity or serious trauma actually changes her. It can happen, and sometimes it is the husband who is the obvious reason she doesn't want him to touch her. Lie to a woman enough, and even a women who once had more self esteem than possible, will feel insincerity from even a look you give her that used to say "love you".

When he gets away from work and we get away from the kids and get to go out of town for the weekend, we do it like we met a month ago. Sometimes stopping three times on the four hour drive to do it.

If he makes me feel s**y, things are good, no catastrophies or crises are happening, my hormones are not at the mad or sad week, and he can get away from his blackberry, laptop, and needy employees, it is on. Totally. Sometimes life gets hectic and s*x does move to the backburner. It is temporary, it is this stage in our lives with kids who take gymnastics, track, dance, and have friends... He has his career, I have full time kids, two dogs, four cats... It is okay because this is for the good of the family. So when our kids are older we dont have to worry as much about them because we put them first and did our very best to make them responsable and sensible. He will be able to retire early. And we will get to travel, and s***w like bunnies again.

Oh, women who are not interested in s*x after marriage are usually not doing it on purpose. Sometimes timing is suspicious, but usually if the husband thought about it clearly, he'd see it was not like BANG we're marred, no more s*x. Likely it was after a bit of time. Maybe she is depressed. Maybe she has a health issue. Maybe it is a phase, we all go through a phase, all of us, at one time or another. I have, twice. If I had been accused of holding back because he said "I do" I would not have popped out of my phase as quickly as I did. Sometimes your mother is evil and says "you ruined my sons life. His other girlfriends were prettier. You aren't as smart as his last girlfriend. His friends hate you..." and you let that woman come for Christmas, knowing what she said, because she said she wouldn't, just like the last five times this happened... Prepare for a cold and long Christmas. My husband can attest to that one personally. It isn't like I was punishing him, I just don't feel very cute after what she said, nor do I feel very important. Also, I am stressed, insulted, and tired. The fact I have not run away or killed your mother, is proof enough I love you, don't think I am gonna force myself to  get in the mood for you too... This last happened 4 years ago.  Not since, because it took him that long to realize that she was not going to change, and everytime she came out to visit, I would have to rebuild my self image and heal my soul, at times that would take weeks, one time a month. Of course I have needs, so every week or so I'd 'use him' and let him know he was only getting it because I needed it and his enjoyment was of no importance to me. LOL. Sounds mean, but hey, you havent walked, talked, or screwed in my shoes, and if you have, I want to know what the h**l you are doing with my freaking shoes.

Men act like marriage kills s*x. It does not kill s*x if a couple is sexually and emotionally compatible. Events, people, live, changes, circumstances, and biology temporarily paralyze s*x or put it into a coma, but patience, understanding, and overcoming relationship setbacks will revive it. If you put it down, dwell on it, make more issues than before it will create more insecurities, stress, and  hurt. That can kill s*x.

OMG, look at the lengths some women who are offended by this simplified stereotype, will go to just to try and get the stories that Oprah forgot to mention on her show told. I mean, I wrote a book, talked about personal things, and likely I will be dismissed as an angry chick with pms, an exception to the rule, in denial, or whatever. If this is such a concern, make sure you don't get married then. A preoccupation like that will certainly end up being your marital s*x demise.

Answer 9

You're getting this information from women who watch Oprah?? The same people who clap and scream every second word Oprah says? Well you just answered your own question.

It would be be same if I said: Why do all the people who watch Bill O’Reilly on Fox with a strong intensity have no concept of reality?

Edit: Well then I m really not sure; I can only talk with personal experience. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years I don’t think we have ever had a dry spell; I enjoy it too much.

It relieves all the stress built up in my day; afterwards you just feel different emotionally, you feel happier and relaxed. Maybe some people just aren't doing it right. LOL Oh but I don't have children to run after; that could be a big factor??

Answer 10

I heard married people have the most s*x..That's what my human sexuality teacher told me.

If married couples have the most s*x, that means women still are having s*x after marriage....because society won't look down on them for it (you're not a s**t if you got a ring on your finger) and married couples live together versus a young 20-something couple that separately still live with their parents and have to make arrangements on where to have s*x lol.

Answer 11

actually, women dont stop having s*x after marriage .. women just slow down becasue they feel that there are more important things to prioritize than having sexual activity ... besides you can call your husband anytime of the day to have s*x if you like ..... women feel that to have a husband and to have s*x is just turning your faucet anytime of the day .. available at all times... unlike if you're not married yet.... there can be chances where the guy cannot be there at all times.... and when we are referring to the cultures in Asia where sez before marriage is a no-no, then marriage is the only way ... or even legal way for both men and women to maximize energy for sexual activity.

Answer 12

don't tell that to 'em chinese women ... world population have reach critical point at 7 billions and 2/3 of it  mostly chinese