Why do women think they are the only ones that raise children?

Question

My wife is a ***** when it comes raising our child. She has him in her custody right now and every time I want to be a part of his life she thinks of an excuse. She only visits for two hours at a time, and then turns around and says "he doesnt even know who you are". She says I never try to help her, but I offer to keep him all the time and tell her to tell me whatever he needs so I can get it.

She complains constantly about how hard it is to raise him, but when i extend help, its rejected. SHe never wants me to see him. I told her today, you have him all the time, let him spend the day with me so you can do whatever you need to do.(doc appt, trying to move stuff out of an apartment with no electricity, errands, etc) You know what she said? I do have him all the time and he is a huge responsibility. WTF does that suppose to mean? If he is so much of a responsibility, then let me take some of that responsibility. God I hate her sometimes. I wish I had kids with someone else.

btw she is KAmeron's Mommy on yahoo answers.

Answer 1

I was with you until you added "she is KAmeron's Mommy on yahoo answers." That seems petty and vindictive. If that's the kind of person you are, maybe she has a reason to try to limit your role in his life. Maybe you conduct yourself in such a way that you're a bad influence. It's good that you want to be involved in your kid's life, but maybe you ought to take look at your behavior.

Answer 2

This hardly reflects on all women.

The problem is that, for years, when women have reached out to their husbands/babies fathers to be there and help out, they've usually been told that raising children is "women's work".  So now, it's hard for people to fathom the idea of a man actually wanting to be a real father.

I think your ex has the 'Mommy Martyr' syndrome: She wants to take over completely so she can complain about how HARD it is to raise your child.  Your best bet is to go court and ask for more time with your son because, unless you're an unfit father, you're supposed to be able to see your child.  Good luck with all that, and remember that your child is the most important person in the situation.

Louise: You should NEVER badmouth your child's other parent.  It's childish and vindictive.  Let your child form their own opinions.

Answer 3

When your child is not around say how mean she is. I think she is being nasty towards you. If that where my child I would let you see them twice/three times plus a week. You care so much more them she is willing to believe.

Answer 4

Talk to her

Answer 5

contact a lawyer, get a divorce and sue for custody. She sounds like she's nuts. I gladly let my husband help with our daughter, she is his kid too.  

Answer 6

Why don't you just tell her or the judge all those feeling you have.  Telling us really can't help you a bit...

Answer 7

umm ... well idk what to say ... talk to her .. and if it doesnt work ... you havethe right  to go to court ,,, to get your kid back .. just because she;s the mother doesnt mean that she gets your child ..

learn your rights ..  

Answer 8

you got it right there, she thinks of excuses. it's all a defense mechanism, she doesn't like you, and doesn't want her child associated with you for some reason. She'll come up with any reason, partly to p**s you off, and to convince herself that your bad, when in reality, that might not even be the case.   she could also be stuck in the pass and won't let things go.

Answer 9

it sounds like she is being bitter towards you for some reason. You are not doing anything wrong. It's good that you want to help and be a part of your sons life. Talking to help might not do any good. You might have to take her to court to get Visitations rights that way you can see him every weekend.  I'm sorry to hear your going through this.

Good Luck

Answer 10

She does sound like a *****. Go to court

Answer 11

tough situation. and i know that i dont know where you're coming from but I'm going to try to help the best I can. The point is it takes TWO to have a kid and first of all, you sound like you're divorced which isnt right. that puts unneeded stress on both of you because you two werent mature enough to handle the situation you two put yourselves into too and what made me mad about you, is that you said at the end that you wish you had children with someone else but i understand that you are mad. but think about how your kid would feel if he heard that. Its YOUR kid too and you need to help out and she IS keeping him from you. so i get why you're mad. Dont let her say no. take control but dont stoop to her level. if not, court can handle this situation but i highly suggest that you dont do that because it would hurt you child even more. Tell her what you feel. dont be silenced by her because personally, it sounds like shes calling the kettle black(sorry, im southern=] ) anyway, she'll say, he needs a father but then she'll make up an excuse and then she'll say hes a lot of work, but guess what, thats what a child is. and if she AND you didnt want them, then dont have s*x. So both of you grow up, find the root of the problem(as in, if you two are divorced, WHY did you and dont say it was her fault vs versa well unless she cheated on, i wouldnt stay with someone if they did that) dont think of the bad things about it, think of things that you know about your kid. Tell her that you're are going to see him whether she likes it or not and think of something you can do that not just you, may i advise, that something that both of you(as in you and the kid) can enjoy. I'm sorry that I might have been harsh but realize that he's your kid and your responsibility but when you do get him, make sure she has time with him too. GOOD LUCK,=] and sorry this is sooo long.

Answer 12

I'm sorry to hear of the problem you have. I wish I had some advice. We should all take this as a lesson, make sure we don't make babies without really getting to know the person before hand. I know there is always the chance of divorce, people change and sometimes just drift apart for no apparent reasons... the the more we try to limit divorce the better it will be for all our children.

take care.

Answer 13

WHY>? Well first of all we were pregnant for 10 months, we delivered the baby, we nursed the baby, we book the appts., we take them to the appts, we stress about how much they are eating, how often, what they are eating, how often they are changed, if everyone is taking care of our baby as we would, and need them to. Because we hold all the stress of  taking care of the baby. The baby comes first for us ALWAYS! Not just when we "miss" the baby and want to see him.

SHe evidently doesnt feel you will take care of her son as she will.

Answer 14

well i wouldnt want to be raised by someone who called my mom/their wife a *****....

Answer 15

whoa, sorry your going thru this, are you going thru the court sysem? good luck to you

Answer 16

I assume you are in the process of going through court procedures? After all, if shes that much of a bad parent, being such a devoted daddy you wouldn't want to leave your kid in her care.

Answer 17

becasue she is jealous that you will do a better job than her and she is scared they will have a new "mommy" if you get a new girlfriend or wife

Answer 18

doubt if this made you feel better. you made your bed, now you gots to live in it

Answer 19

Tell her that!

Answer 20

well i think she is wrong for not letting you be a part of your child's life and let me start by saying shame on her.. and for you go to court get visiting rights she can't tell you no if you have them.. and you can bring to their attention she is not letting you see your child.. and i am sorry you have to go through this, i was a single parents once too and i would never keep daddy out of the pic. and good luck..  

Answer 21

file for full custody and settle for joint custody or file for visitation rights then she has to let you have him no matter what even if you don't pay your child support or she can get in trouble.

Answer 22

It sounds like you need to take her to court and fight for full custody. She's just using your son as a pawn and it's not right or fair to anyone. He's a sympathy thing for her. That doesn't mean that she doesn't love him but she likes getting the sympathy of people thinking that she's a "single mom" with no help when in fact that's not true. There's nothing you can do to change that. So if you want to be with  your child there's unfortunately only one thing that you can do. You might want to start writing everything down as well. When you see him and when she turns down help and all that.

Good Luck!

PS Not all women are like that. there are those of us who want whats best for our children.

Answer 23

wow... you should fight for visitational rights. If she keeps this up, your child is going to grow up thinking he only have a mother. I guess mothers could be so over protective---> with all the foolishness going on in the world though, could you blame her?.. either way... right is right and wrong is wrong.. and you have every right to contribute to the growth of your son.. Fight for him.. take her to court

Answer 24

because theyre the one who actuallly delivered the baby

and in most cases they stay at home,

why do dads think they're the man of the house?

Answer 25

It makes things really difficult when the two of you don't get along. Both of you must have strong feelings for each other (love or hate) to care so much about punishing the other person and not sharing the responsibilities of your child. Take the initiative to be the bigger person... back down... sweeten your voice and let her know sincerely and honestly that you'd like to be there for your child. Ask her what she would like you to do. Try to avoid confrontation and recognize her frustration with out letting it upset you. The best way to get  something from someone else is to talk to them from their point of view pointing out how it benifits them not you. I wish you the best of luck.  

Answer 26

You wrote wife, I guess you're separated then. I'm unclear as to why she makes all the decisions in this parenting arrangement. Do you not have proper custody arrangements? If not, then make sure you arrange for something legally binding.  It sounds as if she feels like she has the weight of the world on her shoulders, have you not been there for her up until now? Is there a reason why she feels this way. But yes, she sounds very controlling. If she knows it or not, your help with your son will lighten her load. But she's afraid of letting go of the control. If your child is very young, it's hard on moms to separate. I also hear how much you two don't agree on how to parent this child. This will cause so much confusion for him. By putting her down here and exposing who she is, you are doing her a disservice, as your child's mother. If you want to help your son, for real, then make for some legal custody arrangements. Once both you and your wife settle into this new arrangement, it should go smoother than now. Now it sounds like your position is very unclear where she has all the say as to when you can see your child or not. This has to change. Your son needs both his parents.

Answer 27

You should go to court and file for atleast some custody of them. She has no right to take your child away from you like that and you have every right to be mad.

Answer 28

well cause they have a portable feeding device

Answer 29

because ppl tend to think women are more sensitive than men which is the reason why mothers get more praise than fathers do....

Answer 30

If I'm honest, this isn't even a question. Just you ranting. How am I supposed to answer this? For a start, not all women are like the mother of your child. Stop stereotyping. Another thing, naming and shaming someone on Yahoo Answers is just as childish as you are making out she is.

Answer 31

You sound like a real prize!