Why do you suppose that so many?

Question

people in this forum attack the adult adoptees with real life experience in this area?

Answer 1

Cageny couldn’t have put it better. Things are slung from both sides.  All people: adoptees, Adoptive parents, biological parents, even ones who don’t fit in those category should work together to make adoption and foster care better. Help should be provide for parents who truly want to parent. People should be willing to accept that adoption and Foster care are not always rainbows and sunshine as some put it.  People should also be able to except that adoption and foster care are not all Thunder clouds and windstorms.

Answer 2

Stupidity.

Answer 3

why do you supose people (including adoptees) attack  adoptive parents with real life expierance?

Answer 4

lack of respect.  adoptees get attacked, adoptive parents get attacked, biological families get attacked.  nothing is really accomplished on this site.  there is very little respect for another's view point.

it would help if everyone took a step back and realized that even though their situation was a good one, not everyone's is.  that if their situation was a bad one, not everyone's is.  we all have different stories and different lives.  we all come from a different side of things and can share and educate one another.  but it seems not many get the chance to do that.

when an issue is so close to who you are and it's so passionate to you, it's hard to see that any comment isn't directly meant for you.  

this is the same way i feel when fertile adoptee's attack infertile people.  you have no idea what it's like, the same way i have no idea what it's like to be an adoptee.  a lot of people from all sides need to respect others and use this as an educational forum.  not a replacement for therapy.

Answer 5

Why do you suppose that PA and AP's are attacked and disliked for adopting?  As I understand it, Adult Adoptees that are "pro family preservation" are saying that the  "US Government" is neglecting this area.  Well US ADOPTIVE PARENTS are not the government.....so why do you suppose that ya'll are constantly so disrespectful of AP's because we are adopting the ONLY way we know how and the only way we are able.  BELIEVE ME there is not 1 AP that I have talked to say that they absolutely had a great time remortgaging their home to pay these crazy fees.  Why do you suppose that the "Family preservationists" are constantly barking up the wrong tree in here.

Answer 6

In my opinion, it's because of so many answers from various people here "guaranteeing" that adoptees will have issues.  It's not a guarantee.  My husband was adopted.  He had a pretty crappy upbringing to boot.  But he has no adoption issues.  None.  

The adoptees that tend to frequent this area are extremely unaccepting of that possibility, and to the idea that some adoption is necessary and good.  Intolerance is not the answer, obviously.  

There is something blocking these answerers from accepting that adopted or not, we all have issues we face in life- we can take responsibility for them ourselves, or we can place blame.

Answer 7

They just write it off as our having a 'bad experience'.  Their parenting will be superior, and their adoptees won't want to search! They will have no emotional problems!

I guess they feel good criticizing us.  But obviously THEY'RE the ones who can't take the truth, because they all flee eventually, for warmer waters where their fantasies are fanned by other, more 'compassionate, understanding' people who believe in rainbows, miracles, and raising other people's children as their 'own'.

Answer 8

I think it should be noted that those of us who were adopted and are happy with the experience are also attacked - usually for not agreeing that we should be miserable. I think all corners of the adoption world are attacked here - no one is ignored.