Why do you think I need a man?

Question

I am 37 years old and have been a victim of severe domestic abuse by the people( men) ended up with. I have a little boy and when he was born I moved back to my hometown,consequently because of the abuse. I finally decided to take the advice people had given me 17 years earlier, which was to be a nurse. I have started my studies and have started to do quite well, small town talk gets around and I realize that the connotations are that I am" quite bright and upcoming and have alot of potential" in a certain area of medicine.I am proud of myself and now i am starting to feel comfortable in my own skin. All of a sudden now people have started saying " You will find a good man some day." You will be rewarded when the right one comes along" . Etc etc. The truth of the matter is I have very old fashioned beliefs and the only things I would want a man for is to have kids, which I can no longer have as I have had a tubiligation and to be a provider so that the woman that brought them into the world can be the one that cares for them, as opposed to having someone else bring them up. Needless to say that this was one of the many ways the men I was with managed to perpetrate the abuse they inflicted upon me because they did none of what I FEEL they should have , along with the beating of course and no responsibility for anything they did. I guess the question is how do I tell people that there is no room in my life for that? I dont want it I dont need it. NO I am not going to say i am g*y, I am not. I just am not going to give some man a lifestyle at my expense better than one that they gave me and nothing I say seems to be getting through or stopping this ridiculousness. HELP

Answer 1

You don't need one do what makes you happy.  Don't listen to the people that think you need a man to feel whole.  Most people don't realize you can be happy single since nature says you need a companion.  

Answer 2

In your life you need contentment. If not having a man as a partner is your choice, then let your mind be at ease.We as human tend to believe that what I have 'going on' in my life should be status  law.[woman hafta have man,man gotta have woman]  ONLY true for reproduction!! Not happiness.

  All of humanity should seek life, liberty,and the pursuit of happiness.

If you are truly satisfied in yourself,you need not seek approval.

  I have come to understand that the things of your past are somewhat the building blocks of whom you are and whom you will become.Something not short of an education.  As in any education, it's a tool to use for future reference. As in your studies ,a medical professional will live influenced on the education and experiences learned.

Be less concerned with me and them that will side track you from your desires, you get one shot at a happy life,take your best shot!!!

    There are plenty of "HOT LINES" pick up the phone,Call.

    THEY NEED NOT KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!

                                  "BRILLIANT"!!!!

Answer 3

Maybe they've never heard of d****s?

Answer 4

from what i read of this rant you are a very bitter man hating woman. probably better for all concerned that you remain alone. too bad for your kid, father figures can make all the difference.

Answer 5

I don't know you (?)

I don't think anything about you.

Answer 6

not all men are like that you know

you don't need to tell people just do it and live how you want to.

to that spirit person..you sound like a bitter man

Answer 7

society has conditioned ppl to believe they not only need a partner, but that they need one of the opposite s*x.  Society also finds it strange when a women is not married, and also has  a child. So dont expect it to change anytime soon. IF you have been watching the news, Palin had 5 children, and one of the common complains is that  she cant possibly be effective, she should be mothering. Little is said about the fact that she has a husband who gave her kids.  Society criticized  women by assuming that they must be L*****n if they are not in a relationship with a man. Because , as you know, every woman wants to be with a MAN! ( sarcasm)  This is very antagonizing to the GLBT community and single women!!!

This is the double standard.

I get it all the time too, that I will meet someone,  that I will have kids and be successfull etc.

When I was growing up I was told I needed to go to college, now Im here and part of me cant wait to get out. Now they are starting to hint at the next level, that I will need to prove Im "marriage material".

Im sorry about your stress, I hope in the end you will find satisfaction. Keep up with the good studies and here is something, learn a trade on the side. I know it sounds like a "bubba and skeeter" thing, but when hard times hit, its these jobs that can command a fee and resist economic downturn.

Part of the reason marriages break up is because ppl take their partner for granted.  Why not go for equality? Do you think that, had you demanded an egalitarian relationship, you would have been able to stand up for yourself and demand better instead of running for safety? People need to be held responsible for thier decision, regardless of what s*x they are and especially in a relationship.  

Women fought for equality precisly because women ( much like yourself)  had to run for safety instead of being able to demand it from men in their live. They didnt do this so that, in 2008, a woman gets beaten up because she believes in "tradition".  

I have a friend who says this to women wanting a traditional relationship: "which part of the tradition do you want , the beatings or the rapes "?

When I was younger, my mom always told my sisters, "love does not mean you can be irresponsible for yourself".  It simply means you are the primary the responsibility of yourself.  I remember her telling them to always have a stash of cash somewhere just in case ( and she said this to me too).

Answer 8

that's your own choice, though your context is quite bitter.......