Why do you think some people are against adoption?

Question

I know alot of people cringes at the thought, out of fear of other taking taking their children away perhaps, one of my friends said they should really change the word " adoption" because it sounds like "abduction"- yeah she's silly.. she see it as a threat to motherhood.

but really for those people who doesn't like adoption, do you mind explain?

Answer 1

I am trying to find some nice rich lady to adopt me right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I am not against adoptions at all......I B fur it!!!

‹(•¿•)›

Answer 2

I've never heard of people being against adoption. Babies/kids are adopted because their parents decided they can't take care of them (most of the time). I think you are confused...it's ABORTION that some people feel strongly against.

Answer 3

Here is my opinion. I am adopted, i was first placed in DYFS because my birtmother was a drug addict, and a bunch of other problems. I was placed in foster care at 8 month, my brother was placed in foster care at 6 years. I was lucky enough to be adopted by age 3 to the people who were my first foster parents.  My brother on the other hand went threw 12 different foster homes, he was beaten, mental abused physically, sexual. My point is, alot of times there a kids that are giving up for adoption that never end up in a happy home, especially the older kids.

Answer 4

i am very pro adoption, but i dont think i could ever do it.  I am a mother of a small child and after experiencing all the joy (and lets face it, just plain weirdness) of pregnancy and after giving birth to and seeing that sweet little babe, i couldn't give it up.  I just couldn't.  I applaud all those brave women who have done it, i thank god for them, they are courageous in a way that i could never be.

Answer 5

When I gave my daughter up 35 years ago, I thought it was the right thing to do, but I didn't realize how this was going to impact my life. Living a lie is very hard. Thinking and crying over your baby every birthday. Believe me, if I had it all over again, I'd do things different, and the feelings of abandonment that my birth daughter has felt, just makes me feel so sad. Anyway, I would want any woman to think twice before giving up a child. It's the worst kind of h**l to live in, not knowing where your child is.

Answer 6

probably some people are against it because they fear their baby will go into foster care and be abused and never be adopted.

and some just want to keep their baby, they might think that if they place the baby for adoption it shows a lack of love (which of course is NOT true)

some do not think through all of the consequences.

Answer 7

Well one thing about adoption, I have two foster children, they are adoptable in Jan 08. It would be hard to find them another home due to all thier mental, emotional problems.

Maybe people are scared of what they will get themselves into, sometimes adoptions can go the wrong way if you take in adifficult child or children.

Answer 8

I have worked at an adoption agency for over 20 years.  We have been called by new mothers and asked to come to the hospital to give them information about adoption and have been literally run out of the hospital by nurses or family.  Some people get the idea we troll around hospitals and pregnancy clinics looking for birthmothers!  No -- they call us!  They ASK us to provide services to them.

We have been called "baby stealers" and worse.  We have been cursed by family of birthmothers, and threatened by birthfathers.

There is a huge misconception about adoption.  I hear often that "Well, at least it's not abortion" as if the two were  related.  (They are both choices, but that's it)  Others say they would not even consider adoption or abortion, as if they were similar.  I hear "We don't believe in adoption or abortion".

In general, people put down what they don't understand.  If someone is not open minded, they will choose to put down adoption because they do not have the ability to step outside of their own, small, small world.

Answer 9

Maybe because they are narrow minded.

Adoption is a wonderful thing.  It's NOTHING like abduction, because the mother is willingly giving her child up.

If a woman can't care for her baby and knows it, the best thing to do is give it up to a nice couple who cannot conceive.  It would make their world and if the adoptive parents have enough money to adopt a child, they have enough money to properly care for him/her.

I'm all for adoption.  Why not?

Answer 10

Adoption is all about giving a child love that it could not get from its biological mother, or maybe the mother isn't ready to take on the challenge of being a mother so at least she has enough sense about her to give her child to someone that will love it instead of her keeping it and abusing it.  There is far to much child abuse and neglect in this world so why would anyone have anything bad to say about adoption--- it's all about love for a child.

Answer 11

They think that you made your bed now sleep in it. Now we have over worked social worker and kids dieing because so many people just want babies or they have slipped through the cracks.

Some people think they didn't come from me so I'm not really a parent.

Answer 12

I haven't actually heard of people being against adoption, I only ever hear all the childless couples saying how wonderful it is, so they can have a baby.

I can see somewhat of the point your friend makes, though.  Often adoption is an option thrust upon young women when the family doesn't want the embarrassment of an illegitamate child.  This happened a lot in the past, but not as much these days I think.

I work as a maternity nurse, and have seen this situation happening.  I is very uncomfortable to see, because the mother of the baby is obviously being pressured by her parents or other family members, but there's nothing you can do if she's willingly signing the paperwork.  It's a sad situation.  :(

Answer 13

People are anti-adoption for many reasons. Some feel the industry is unethical, others feel that biological ties are very important, others that it is harmful psychologically to the adoptees.

Some are anti-current adoption practices, rather than anti adoption in theory, and work to reform those practices.

Everyone has their truth and opinions based on personal experience.

Answer 14

Well maybe some people don't like adoption because they don't want their children to be raised by strangers and think of the strangers as mommy and daddy instead of their real parents.  Some people may think that adoption is bad since it's not your biological kid and may think that the kids who are adopted have behavior or emotional problems or be troubled kids and be too hard to handle or raise.

Answer 15

Okay, first of all, LOL at these answers not answering the question!  =oP

There is a range of how anti-adoption someone can be.  If you want I'll edit in some links later to illustrate.

There are those on the extreme end of anti-adoption who feel that a child should be with their biological families, to the point of anyone who has adopted should give the children back regardless of age.

Then there are also those who feel that adoption should be only in the cases of true orphan situations.  That the child should stay within the family, and only if the child has no family, then an outside of family adoption would be okay.

There are those who feel that adoption should not exist because of the lies it makes on paper (altered birth certificates, sealed documents of the adoption decree that cannot be opened by the adoptee, etc...) and that adoption should be reformed into guardianship.

There are those who feel that our priority as a society should be encouraging families to stay together and rise above the crisis, instead of reacting by grabbing the children out of the crisis.  We should be putting that effort into looking into the reasons why abandonment is necessary in that family's circumstance.

There are those who feel that adoption is a big business industry and consequently that business purposely exploits women in their crisis.

But fundamentally, most of these concerns stem from the fact that relinquishing a child for adoption causes serious loss not only to the family of origin but to the adoptee.  If that loss could be avoided, why shouldn't we encourage that?

Where do I stand then?  I think that adoption should be rare and only done in rare circumstances.  Some of the reasons given in the above answers cover those rare circumstances.

Edit to add the links below represent many of the ideas presented above.

Answer 16

People are much more individualistic than they used to be, and also much less religious.

The more individualistic one becomes and the less religious, the more selfish people become.

And why SHOULD'NT a 15-year-old get to keep her baby with her 17-year-old boyfriend?  Who's to say she won't be a better parent than, say, a successful married 30-year-old couple?  

People don't give a **** about kids anymore.  It's not "for the good of the child", it's "what's good for me".

Answer 17

as the child get's older you may be afraid to tell her/him they are adopted because, one you dont want your child feeling unwanted, two afraid they wont love you the same because your not their biological parent, or fear of being abandonded when they want to search for their their real parents. Also, that child is not part of you because they didn't come from you, there are many reasons why someone may not agree w/ adoption, but in my opinion it is wonderful, there are many unwanted children who need a home and someone to love them.

Answer 18

I have very rarely heard of anyone being against adoption. Well, I think that many are against it because the children adopted are not of own blood so they might be afraid the chid might betray them later in life.

Answer 19

I think I can explain it.  Fear of someone Else's unknown.  Even though you have your own unknowns when you become a first time parent(biological birth).  There have been countless times we were told" You can't love an adopted child like you love your own child"!!!!    Fallacy to that statement.  Who said that your adopted child wasn't your child?  Any parent can give undying love to a child, no matter who the birth mother is or what her past was.   It's all about the child and its welfare.  The child did not ask to be in that situation and needs to be loved for themselves, not what baggage is tied to them.

        Think of this.   You are happy when you find out that your pregnant.  Why then, can't you be just as happy to receive that phone call ," Come pick up your new daughter or son".   We are adoptive parents of two separate adoptions.  Both our children know they are adopted and are very close.  The older brother is very protective of his sister.  She idolizes him.  What more can you ask for.      By the way, our son was 7 years old and our daughter was 7 weeks old when we got them.  It took us 6 years each to receive that call.  It was all worth it!       Hope that answers your question.