Why do you think that adult/teen relationships are innapropriate?

Question

lots of people seem to think that it's all about it being harmful to the teen and sometimes they believe that if the teen is a 15-17 boy, there's nothing wrong with it, because usually, it's not traumatizing for them. but i personally don't think that is the only reason it's wrong.

my reason is because, when an adult woman has relationship with a teen boy, she is basically deciding who is s**y and who isn't. it is basically sending a message to all those other boys that they are not as attractive. i think 15-17 year old boys have it hard enough dealing with girls their own age telling them they aren't hot or whatever. so what are they supposed to think when grown up educated women who are their teachers and role models are telling them they they aren't as hot as so and so? when i was back in high school , i know it wouldn't have had a very positive effect on me knowing my teachers were having s*x with my cute friends. the same goes for teen girls and adult men.

Answer 1

Every situation is going to be unique, but generally speaking people have a strong sense of whenever an older person is taking advantage of a younger person. There are strong laws in place to protect younger people, and for the most part they work.

Having said that, I don't doubt there are occasional unique situations in which a two people with age differences have relationships that are both sexual and have a strong sense of equality, where neither are taking undue advantage of each other. Take for instance a 19 yo dating a 17yo. Only a 2 year difference, yet under the law the 19yo could go to prison for 20 years if the 17yo's parents choose to press charges.

It's up to the courts to be fair and judge every case by its individual merits.

That said, adding your own insecurities to the matter doesn't really impact on the age-gaped relationships or the law. Just because knowing an adult woman has s*x with someone younger shouldn't produce feelings of jealousy, and if they do, it has nothing to do with that relationship or the law.

Your jealousies and insecurities are your own problem. If I get jealous of a bank robbers ability to rob a bank, that doesn't impact the wrongness of robbing banks, nor will it be taken into serious consideration in a courtroom. And that's as it should be.

Answer 2

An adult should be able to have perspective and if it is a true relationship an adult will defer the pleasure of the relationship until the relationship does not have to be hidden from the people who care for them.  If the relationship has to be hidden the act of hiding the relationship is sending the wrong message to the young partner.  Do nothing that needs to be hidden and the relationship is health by social standard.  When the younger partner is more mature then the relationship can go to the next level by mutual consent and the previous relationship become romantic

Answer 3

Why can a 15 year old wait 3 years or a 17 year old wait 1 year? Its not like they will die if they dont have s*x.

To answer your question.

An adult having s*x with a person less than 18 is called statuatory rape. And if found out the adult will end up in jail.

I know that is not a valid reason. But its a real reason.

Answer 4

In my area, the legal age of consent is 17. Even if the male teen was of legal age people would still think it's "wrong" because that's how politically correct this society is.

I think so long as both parties in the relationships are consenting, they both are aware of their actions and make the responsible decision to continue with they're action, then it shouldn't be anyone else's business.

When things like this happen (teen males being seduced bu older women) people look at it with shock and go like "OMG! that's sick! what's this world coming too?"

My opinion, it just proves that all were all human and S**t happens

Answer 5

Most relationships are appropriate. Next time limit your question a little better by asking about sexual, or at least romantic, involvement between people of two different age groups. It's completely appropriate for adults to have friendships with teenagers. Both benefit from this. However, when it's exclusively a sexual thing, the teenager will undoubtedly get hurt.

Answer 6

The real reason it's wrong is that the physical part of the brain that tempers impulse and desire with logic is not fully developed until age eighteen or nineteen.

Thus, if an adult engages in an emotional or physical relationship with a partner under the age of physiological and emotional maturity they are doing so for control.

It's not a good thing!

Siggy

Answer 7

Aside from the legal issues is the maturity gap and you can't tell me that a 15 year old is mature enough for a real relationship.   Most 15 year olds fight over not texting enough or what outfit some girl wore...

Answer 8

We have several issues being expressed in this question. Some of which are in opposition to Centuries of human tradition and Biology. First Women are most fertile from the ages of 15 to 25. Women's fertility slow declines until age 35, then falls off rapidly after that. And after age 40 it falls off a cliff. So Women are most fertile from 16 to 25. And since their bodies are producing high amounts of Estrogen their Eggs are most fertile, are prime in their ability to conceive and bear children.

This is just simply Biology. The problem is that our Culture is more complex. That our Western Culture and especially Feminism promotes Education and Career during these years. Then when Women are feeling the Biological Urge to have children and are in a panic over finding an acceptable and suitable mate. Decide they want to have Kids NOW.

Life is about Opportunity costs. And Feminism runs contrary to our biology. So Women make compromises, deny their biology and choose to postpone having children. Many are deeply disappointed in later years over the Children they never had. That their Career is not a replacement for Children and later Grandchildren.

That Careers are just an economic choice and life is about relationships. Which Women have always valued above things. Then the regrets and bitterness sets in. Germaine Greer has expressed this. She regrets she did not have children.

Life is about Choices and consequences. There are consequences to your decisions. That you may not realize until many years later. Women who marry early and have babies often struggle financially. But have time to get the career, the perks, the recognition. And they get to see their Babies grow up and become Adults While building a life with a Man who appreciates them, and has invested his life with their Family.

Do not let someone else make your Life decisions. Choose and accept responsibility for your choices. Life is about being happy.

In past eras Young Women often Married Older more stable Men. Who were capable of the Financial obligations of raising a Family. Who were not given to chasing other Women. And who were ready to settle down. These relationships were for the most part successful. Because they met both parties needs. And Women chose Men based on their Characters.

Answer 9

If a man can be a pedophile, then so can a woman. They both deserve to be thrown under the jail.

Answer 10

Not every adult/teen relationship is between a teacher and student. I think teacher-student relationships are questionable even in college where both are adults, because of the potential for preferential treatment. It's another matter entirely.

The only reason I think that adult/teen relationships can be inappropriate is because of the gap in maturity. Younger teens are often not emotionally old enough to have s*x, and an adult who seduces them is acting in an irresponsible and potentially harmful manner. (Of course, if we're talking about people who are like, 18 and 21, that doesn't apply, and I would not have any kind of problem with that at all. h**l, I dated a 21 year old when I was 17 - I still don't think either of us did anything wrong.) I gotta be honest, the argument that it might hurt the feelings of the boys she isn't sleeping with is a little bizarre. The hurt feelings of the people who got rejected shouldn't enter into the equation of any relationship. If it did, no one would ever be able to date anyone else, because there's always going to be someone who feels jilted. It IS inappropriate, just not for that reason.

Answer 11

Choose whoever you want. Geeze stop being such a comi.