Why do young women get so much stick if they want to be full-time mothers?

Question

My wife and I, both 21, are trying for our first baby. She is currently working full-time but has decided she wants to quit work after giving birth and focus on raising a large family--something we both want. I'm really excited about having children with her, but worried about the kinds of comments she gets from friends and family who think she's 'throwing her life' away by starting so young. Is it really so wrong if a young woman chooses babies over career?

Answer 1

I am a Mother of 7 wonderful, beautiful children.

I gave up continuing my career when I had my first and stayed home and raised my kids for over 12 years.

When the last one of my kids was born I stayed home for 1 1/2 years with her, and I wish I could have stayed home longer.

I had friends talk behind my back, family and friends make negative comments about me and so on.

When a woman or a man stay home to 'raise' their children it is one of the most important, fantastic and rewarding experiences that person will ever have. It's hard, it's long hours (24-7) and the benefits are never-ending!

I would only change two things; I would've stayed home longer with the youngest one, and I would've ignored the ignorant, stupid adults trying to make me feel like I was doing something wrong or stupid.

GOD, BLESS AND STAY STRONG!!

NO ONE IS BETTER FOR YOUR KIDS THAN YOU AND YOUR WIFE WHEN IT COMES TO RAISING THEM!!!!

Answer 2

absolutely not ...IF u will stand by her thru thick and thin as this large family grows and be there as supporter and provider..if u can handle those roles i would care less what people said

Answer 3

nope, that choice is up to the both of you. There will always be somebody that doesn't like it...bottom line, it's your life, make yourself happy. If she can afford to be home than stay home with that baby. Just be prepared to live on 1 income.

Answer 4

I think it is great!  We had our first child at 21 and I went back to work right away.  If I could do it all over again.......I would have stayed home.

Answer 5

No.  What works for some doesn't work for all.  Who cares what other people think?  It's your lives.

Answer 6

No...it's not wrong, if that's what you want!  I'm sure the children would benefit greatly!  Different things work for different families.  It is NOT "throwing your life away" to do what you want and see is fit best for you and yours.  I'm a stay-at-home Mommy and am SO grateful I am able to be home to raise my daughter!  Good luck to you, and I hope you get everything you wish for!

Answer 7

I don't see any problem, especially if you're both happy with that arrangement.. Honestly, I've never heard of a child getting c**p because he has a stay at home mom..

Answer 8

Sometimes it's jealousy and sometimes women feel that these "full time moms" are taking the easy way out.  Basically, the more women who do this, the more it brings down the average pay of women and contributes to the idea that women are less preferred in high-powered careers.  Also, some people don't understand why it's always the woman who stays home.  This contributes to gender inequity and the women without children often pay the price, even though they have chosen not to become mothers.

I dislike the suggestion that I am somehow not a full time mom because I have a job.  I am a full time mom too!

Answer 9

absolutely not ! good on you for sticking to what you want. At least you know what your goals are and what direction you life is heading. If you in love then why not. It could be because it didnt work out for others so people have expectations that it wont work for you.

i wish you two all the luck : )

Answer 10

i'm not sure what the point is of worrying about what people MIGHT say. i was a full time mother to all my children. it was something that worked for me. if at 21 you think you can solely support the family, then go for it.

Answer 11

no, but if something were to happen to you or between the two of you, she wouldn't be able to support herself.

Answer 12

there is nothing wrong with it when they are young when they get older she can work part time is she wants but she doesn't have to spending time with kids is very important.

Answer 13

It's her choice,whatever makes her happy. I too am tired of young mothers being judged for their choices.

Answer 14

Heck no.  I would chose my family over my career again and again and again.

Answer 15

no not at all, you can have kids when you feel most comfortable.

dont let people think that.

Answer 16

Are you kidding, its wonderful !!  

I seriously think thats whats wrong with society today is that mothers are NOT staying at home.  Kids are not being raised anymore, they are being babysat.   I wish you all the best of luck and what she is doing is the best thing she can do.  

I never understand why people plan pregnancies, toss kids off to daycare at 6 weeks,  and come home in time to put them to bed.  Its horrible.  

I was a sitter and it was so sad to watch other peoples kids take first steps, say first words, cling to me and cry when parents picked them up at 6 PM at night.    I felt so bad for these Moms who missed it all.

On another note ** my husband and I went through a divorce

( he left )   after our last daughter was born and judge granted me alimony because they reconized that me raising kids WAS a full time job and he had to pay my salary***

Answer 17

Well, u have to take it slow don't be in a rush to have a baby.