Why does America make a big deal of being married when everyone is getting divorced?

Question

I mean I am a 24 yr old single mom to a yr old boy. I was with his father for 5 yrs.. after 4 yrs we got engaged and pregnant...and things went down hill....the lies and cheating began....I mean we were headed down the "right" path...we just should have married sooner....or maybe not if it was doomed from the start...

So why does society frown upon single moms...I mean its different you have all these baby daddies and dont want to do anything but collect from the gov't. I don't get ANY gov't help....exception: school.

So why are ppl like me frowned upon when it was a simple case of not being able to control another persons actions and falling hard in love ? Should I have stayed with him and became bitterly miserable and damaged?

I believe in the sanctity of marriage and love hearing when ppl have been married for 20+ years...apparently my son's father doesn't feel the same way...although his parents are in fact married for 20+ yrs and mine are divorced.

This wasn't any bs either...WE were really planning for our wedding and he just got cold feet...

So why does society frown upon ppl like me who are trying to rise above adversity ?

What do u think....

Answer 1

Don't worry about what others think...

People tend to be so judgemental and you cannot change that.

Just live your life for you and your child. If you are HAPPY - that is all that really matters.

Good luck - I know it is hard to be a single mom.

Answer 2

I do not think people like you are frowned upon!

The kids that are frowned upon, are the 12 thur 18 year old's, that intentional get pregnant and live off the government. They think they know everything about being a good parent, when they don't have the first clue.

Single mom's like you who work and really try to make a better life are the ones we are proud of.!

Good luck to you!  

Answer 3

It just wasnt right.  but then again Marriage in this day in age is different.

Some many people are asking thereself, Why Did I get married??

Im trying to answer that questions myself

Answer 4

Because we live in a country full of religious hypocrite zealots that can't practice what they preach.

Answer 5

Because we are a country full of hypocrites...starting with our government.

Answer 6

This is because the WOMAN today let any guy, whether he's a great guy or a complete loser, they let anything that walks get them pregnant!!!

In my opinion it's the woman's fault, because they don't even know the power they have to be with a man that does everything to make her happy with love, respect, trust, communication for years, until they realize they could never be apart, because they know each other inside and out, mentally, emotionally and physically and that's when they should get married!  After approximately one year later that's when they should have a child.  WHEN THEY BOTH MADE THAT DECISION TO HAVE A CHILD!

I get so fired up, because that's the way it used to be and there was no such thing as a single mother.  These poor babies suffer today, because of their stupid mother depriving them of their father!!!

Your relationship was ruined only because you got pregnant.  The guy didn't get pregnant, you did!  That's why I blame the woman.  He got to take off and get some other stupid woman pregnant, but now you're a single mother!  

When are you woman today going to learn from so many billions of other woman's mistakes in this subject.  When are they all going to learn that children need a stable environment with happily married parents who are raising an excellent family?  

Today if they get that life, it's like they hit the lotto!  

Answer 7

Where I live we don't look down on single mothers. One of my best friends is one. She never married her daughter's father. She did get married to another man later. Anyway, we see their task as harder, and noble.

It is both.

Find a social cirlce where people are more supportive. It sounds like you're near too many judgmental folks.

Answer 8

Society is in a moral fall and people blame people like you for it's down fall instead of realizing that it has nothing to do with that.  Right now society is looking for a scape goat and they think marriage is the right one right now.  Next year it will change and who knows what will be the cause then.  Personally I feel the lack of commitment that you described is part of the reason for it's down fall.  Not you specifically nor single mothers/ Fathers!!  I mean that people like your bf who claimed to be madly in love and planning his future with you had the lack of respect for you and himself to follow through with those plans and reep the rewards of being a parent and husband!  I personally admire those who when faced with adversity can over come it and be a better person for it!

Momma_Bear

Answer 9

Girl how many questions  are you going to ask in 1 day??

I think we all know your life story by now!!

Answer 10

I think everyone is still in love with "being" in love.  And personally, I don't think America is as concerned about getting married as you may think.  The divorce rate here is not only high, but glorified.

Answer 11

In my society, single mothers are the norm.  I'm not better than you because I actually walked down the aisle, I'm in the same position as you- raising a fatherless son.  It's unwise to cast judgment, single mothers just don't pop up out of the ground, they are created.  Married or not, a man can just as easily pick up and leave without a second thought.

Answer 12

Apparently there is not a big enough deal made about marriage, otherwise divorce would not be so common.  I just have a question for you.  Would your child be better off in a two parent house hold with a mom and a dad that cared for and loved each other?

The problem here, is you got the order of things mixed up and now your life is going to be much more difficult.  I know this may be old fashioned thinking, but save the s*x for marriage.  Then children stand a much better chance of growing up with both parents.

I don't look down on single mothers, and I applaud you for going to school and trying to make a better life. It's just that the choices that lead to that situation end up effecting children.  I feel so bad for kids that don't have both a mom and a dad at home.

The day you got pregnant you gave up your freedom.  Your life is now about your child.  Raise your kid and forget about men.

Answer 13

We are a totally confused society when it comes to marriage - as evidenced by the huge divorce rate.

Follow your heart and don't give a second thought to what others say.