Why does everyone leave me?

Question

i have awhole list of problems...but i'm scared...gonna be locked up,i dont want to be.but too weak to actually die too.

so what can i do?

my problems....

i just got out of an abusive r'ship and had to go into hiding,he will kill me otherwise(abit funny really since i so want to take my own life right now).a good friend of mine has ran away and noone knows where he is...i too ran away from home,but i told close friends where i was going(living with the only real friend i have actually now...)

i have not slept for a week,i dont eat and if i do then i make myself sick,i cut myself...and i am scared.

the biggest problem linked in with me cutting myself,not eating and sleeping is because of this guy i met online....

i am not sure what to tell about him,i spoke to many people but i never felt so 'close' to anyone before,and the pain i feel when i think about him is too much and i have cried so many times because of him but he never knew it.i was just starting to open up to him and hes gone now...

a real life friend of his told me(oh we met on this online game)that he quit cause his account got hacked,but he promised he would not leave me alone..but he did...it hurts so much.

well then 2 other people told me he is dead...and i dont know which is worse...but hes not coming back to me either way,but i told him....i would wait for him no matter what...i dont break my promises to him,even though he probably lied about everything...

see,the friend i live with,told me not to trust him and maybe he was right?

before all that..the guy told me he had been in a gang,he was in hiding because rival gang members were going to kill him...but his friend(the one who said his account had been hacked)said there was no gang...how could he have lied about something like that?i just dont understand..i want to forget him,i want to hate him...but i cant.all i do is worry about him and cry over him.i feel lost.

Answer 1

You should get help. Don't make yourself sick when you eat, that's just putting your life on the line, along with cutting yourself!

You can let a guy in your life destroy you like this, he's just a human and so are you.

Answer 2

ONE FRIEND STAYED - and you're in such a hole right now you should trust them more than you trust you.

the promises you made to MR online scumbag mean nothing in the light of his lies they were built on.  - wait no longer for him . i am the official promise monitor and it says it under rule 9 subsection c. "promises don't count if made to lying drama queens who bullshit about a life threatening gang history."

good luck,  

be better

Buff.  

Answer 3

Right now you are in a hurricane. I know exactly how you feel. There are some personal rules you have to learn to live by considering what kind of person you are. Trust me, in time you'll see I'm right and you will be on your way to a better life. K?

1) If you catch someone in one lie, consider them a liar and consider everything they say thereafter is a lie. I try to stay away from these people but find it's sometimes too hard. But now I know that they are liars. Don't try to figure out which thing they said is true or not. It's a waste of you life and you will never know for sure. It's a trap.

2) Don't hang out with people who have more troubles than you.

3) Learn to deal with you abandonment issue. Learn to get comfortable in your own skin.

4)If your going to cry out for help, ask yourself for the help and for God to show you the way.

5)Don't rely one others they can never be as reliable as you need them to be.  

6)It's natural for you to seek people you think can and will protect you. The secret is, is for you to make sure you don't leave yourself vulnerable enough to need protection.  

Answer 4

You probably could do with some professional counselling, possibly a course of anti-depressants and you need to find something, other than relationships, to occupy yourself.  There's nothing more unappealling than a desperado and you're leaving yourself wide open to abuse when people discover how desperate you are, either  that or they'll run a mile from you.  You'll find plenty of admirer's once you've boosted your self esteem and don't come across so needy.

Sorry to sound so harsh but trust me, in a few months you'll look back and wonder what you were making a fuss about.  Put some of this energy into helping people, mow your elderly neighbour's lawns or do some charity work - whatever, do a few jobs round the house - develop your self worth.  Then you won't think so much of people who pretend to belong to gangs to big themselves up - who'd want to Be with a gang-member anyway?  He's not all that, honestly.  Best wishes for the future and a new confident you. x

Answer 5

My friend I wish I had “magic words” that would take all the problems away. But unfortunately I do not.  I know the world seems very dark and that you are alone and no one understands.  But my friend there are many that have been though the abuse you speak of and do understand.

If I lived near you I would offer to sit down and talk so that perhaps we can find a way to help you to help yourself build a strong meaningful life.  Unfortunately I suspect I am very far away from you. (as I am currently located in the Philippines.)

Since I can be there to try to help, the only suggestion I can make is one I know you will not like.  But as a concerned friend (even though this is our first discussion)  I would suggest going to one of the free medical clinics (regular doctor) in your area and talking openly and honestly to one of the nurses or doctors.  They will be able to help you with the best options available for you.  I know you are afraid of being locked up like would happen not that many years ago.   But times have changed and so have treatments.  You really have nothing to fear by going to them.

If you happen to be in the USA you might be more comfortable talking to someone on the phone first.  I would suggest the boys town girls town hotline [phone] it is toll free so it will not cost you anything, if you live in the states.

I will say this by being able to talk about the problem, even online, you have made a huge and difficult first step.  The next one I know is going to be even more difficult, but it is very, very important that you take that step.  And go to the clinic I truly wish I could be there to help you make that step.  But please try to do it today and don’t put it off until tomorrow.

As a friend.

May Our Creator watch over you and your family.