Why does everyone think being friends with a married man is playing with fire?

Question

I am friends with a married man. We see each other once or twice a week and I think I like him but I am keeping it to myself because I respect the fact that he is married. He even made it clear that he is just interested being platonic friend’s withy me. He is planning to visit my place soon. We are just good friends and we enjoy being together. He told me tat he enjoys my company and I am nice person to talk to.

However, he calls me one or twice a week using a public pay phone to just talk. I feel so excited when ever I see him or whenever he calls. He is my best friend. So why do you guys think I am playing with fire?

We are just friends

Answer 1

you aren't they are just built like that

Answer 2

He's MARRIED!!!!  Anything that  has to be done in secret..............is not right!!  Friends shouldn't have to be a secret.  If he's calling you from a pay phone, he's keeping your friendship a secret..............from his WIFE!  

THOSE WHO DON'T LISTEN..........HAVE TO LEARN!!!!!

Answer 3

If he's just a friend he won't mind if you pop round and meet his wife then will he?

You both need a kick up the ar*e!

Get your own man and leave hers alone, you wouldn't like it if roles were reversed.

Answer 4

Why is he calling you from a pay phone? Is he hiding you from his wife? If he is, then yes you are playing with fire. You already admitted that you like him - that's not good because you are putting yourself in a vunerable position. I would cut ties with this guy; sounds like it will only end up in heartache in the long run. Find someone else to date that isn't married...he can't be much of a best friend if his wife doesn't even know about you...

Answer 5

I dont believe in being friends with a married man.Thats rude.Call me old fashion if you want.

Answer 6

There is nothing wrong with being friends with a married man ... I think this is stupid ... is there some club they join once their married? I've got a friend and her boyfriends best friend is a girl. A lot of my friends are guys ... I'm I not allowed to be their friend after they get married?

I too have had crushes on a few but thats all it is ... plus I would never step over that line.

Answer 7

This is how it starts.  Saying you are a good friend.  He doesn't want anything else.  Then he wants to come over.  And before you know it he wants to sleep with you.

You are playing with fire.  And believe me you are the one who will get burnt.  He will just have an affair and stay with his wife.  

He is going to use you and then dump you when he is done.

I know because that is exactly how it started between my ex and his mistress.  Only it didn't go the way they planned.  I divorced him , he dumped her and she went on to wreck 2 more marriages.

He will tell you anything to get what he wants .. Don't be so gullible.   You aren't just friends or you wouldn't have invited him to visit you.  We all know why you did and so do you.  You want more .  

Only you may get more then you bargain for.

Answer 8

Sweetie------------Whats the point of being friends with married men ? He have a wife at his house -------- AND tell me something do you want your husband to be friend with another women without telling you ?

Answer 9

If you are sexually attracted to him and think you may act on it then you need to end the friendship.  Otherwise, it seems like you are on a one way street in that department and as they say....it takes two to tango.  I can't speak to much about calling you from a public pay phone.  I didn't even know they had those things anymore.  But think about the circumstances of your meetings.  If he's only doing it during lunch breaks or working "late" and pays in cash then watch yourself.  If he sees you during the weekends, you meet at his house, and he pays with debit/credit cards chances are he's not trying to sneak around at all.

If you feel the marriage may be threatened why not invite the wife to lunch and befriend her as well?  Either way you can find out for sure if she knows about the relationship before it goes to far.

Answer 10

I am friends with a married man and his wife, but I don't go out alone with him, nor do I have feelings for him. People consider it "playing with fire" because of what you just outlined (i.e. you answered your own question)--platonic friendships are difficult to foster, and usually one if not both will succumb to emotional attachment. You should have stopped seeing him the moment you started having feelings for him out of respect for his wife and marriage. A married man shouldn't even be going on "platonic dates," especially once or twice a week. That is inappropriate, and if he wasn't up to no good, why can't he call from home or when his wife is around? Bail out now, or regret it later. Even if he starts something with you, you'll never be able to trust his fidelity, because that appears to be a lacking part of his character. The moment you started to have feelings for him, you stopped "just being friends," so stop kidding yourself.

P.S. I agree with the other answerer; ask him if his wife can join you one of of your times out. if he refuses, you know he feels the relationship is out-of-line, or that he has likely kept you from his wife.

Answer 11

Honey he is feeding yo some of the oldest lines in the Player's Handbook.  Yea he just wants to be friends, and then friends with benefits.   Let him enjoy being with his wife that is what he is supposed to be doing not enjoying the company of young single women.

People think that these sorts of relationships are playing with fire  because it is the truth.  You now feel excited when he calls soon you will be living for those calls and then calls will not be enougn.  One day you are going to sleep with him if you haven't already and then you will continue to sleep with him.  You will become a homewrecking wh***.

He will say anything to continue to keep you on the stinng.  What he tells you about his wife is most likely not the whole truth but the story will win him your sympathy and caring.  You will want to help him and soon you will

It is playing with fire because as you can already see your emotions are getting involved.  You keep playing with fire and you will get burned.  Even if your wildest dreams work out and you do manage to get with this man, what do you have but a man that cheats and then  deserted his wife.  Why won't he do the same to you?

Answer 12

It doesn't sound like you guys are "just friends".  You have feelings for him, it's obvious in all the other 5687879876456 questions you have asked about this.  In fact said you are considering having an affair in a question you asked a few days ago.  Being friends with a married man isn't necessarily playing with fire.  I have married male friends, but I'm also friends with their wives, I NEVER hang out with them alone (it's ALWAYS with my fiance and their wife), I DO NOT secretly call them on the phone (or vice versa), and I would most certainly NEVER go to their house alone or have him come to mine alone.  What you are doing is not right.  You need to end this now, not only for him and his wife's sake, but for your's too.  If you continue with this, he is just going to use you.  You'll just be some piece of @ss on the side, the other woman.  He probably won't leave his wife, they usually don't.  And even if he did, it's highly likely that he would do the same thing to you that he's doing with his wife.  Karma's a b*tch, I hope you know that.

Answer 13

I think you're playing with fire because you DO have feelings for him.. and the pay phone thing is shady on his part, which makes me think he is hiding your friendship from his wife. Not cool. So you are definitely crossing a line. A married man should NOT be your best friend.

Note: It is okay to be friends with someone who is married, but this situation obviously crosses the line.

Answer 14

My FI has friends that are female-that were his friends before we started dating. I know all of them. He doesn't hide his friends from me-male or female and we do things with them.

If he is just interested in being friends and his wife knows about you, why is he calling you from a payphone? Lame, lame, lame!

You have to ask yourself if you are so lonely that you are willing to settle for a married guy who is, in fact, playing you. He is not your best friend...He is his wife's best friend, though not a good one if he is calling other women behind her back.

Answer 15

BECAUSE IT IS, AND IT'S WRONG! HOW MANY TIMES WILL YOU ASK THE SAME QUESTION BEFORE YOU GET IT?

You keep asking the same question, making the relationship sound more and more harmless everytime. Why do you keep trying to get someone on the Weddings page to justify your entering into an adulterous relationship(and you know that's what you're doing!)? We're NEW BRIDES! Women like you make us cringe! If you came near my man, it'd be the last time you went near a man with everything you treasure still attached!

Answer 16

There is nothing wrong with having a married man as a friend, and many people have friends of the opposite s*x who are married. What strikes me as strange though is that he only talks to you from a pay phone. He's obviously hiding something, regardless of what he says about wanting to keep it platonic. Also, you say you like him but you hide that fact and say you respect that he is married. That doesn't make sense at all. If it truly was platonic and you were best friends, neither of you would be hiding anything, either from each other or his wife. If something has to be done in secret, then there is something going on that shouldn't.

Answer 17

You say you like him but are keeping that to yourself and wonder why people think you are playing with fire?

Stop fooling yourself.  The two of you are attracted to each other.  You will get in over your head faster than you can imagine.  Stop it NOW.

You are not "just friends" as you keep trying to tell everyone and yourself.