Why does everyone think every young mother is a s**t or on benifits?

Question

I have two children. 3 and I'm pregnant with number 2. I'm 21. I got married at 16. Both my children are with my husband. We are on no benefits whatsoever. I was walking down to the bus stop because i just had to put my car in for its MOT and i needed to get home. i had my 3 year old son with me. I was waiting there and some women in there 30s maybe started sniggering, yes they were adults(apparently) and i said "do you have a problem" and one of them started going on about how much of a s**t i was and did i even know the father of my b*****d child and how many benefits i receive and did i have 9 other children at home all different colours? I could not believe what she said. How can she assume or say so many things about someone just because they are young and pregnant or with a child. I've experienced it a few times now. Why should a married couple however young they are wait for society's approval before they have children?

Answer 1

The same reason that they assume that every single mother lives on welfare and foodstamps and is a s**t, because many of the times they are right so they assume that it's true in every case.

Please understand that I'm not trying to agree with them.  I am a single mother (working full-time, not receiving any benefits) and I hear it all the time.  The same principle that applies to the fact that a jury is more likely to convict an African-American then a Caucasian, no matter what the evidence.  It doesn't make it right, that's just the way things are right now.  All you can do is stand up for yourself and hope that over time things will change.

Understand that there are many people out there that feel your pain and we are all working hard to change things, but society won't change overnight.

Edit - I would love to be able to get WIC, but because I work full-time and make $30,000 a year I am "wealthy", I would love to live in a state that would allow someone as "well off" as I am to get assistance.

Answer 2

Thank you so much for posting this!

Really thank you!!

Answer 3

wats wrong with getting benefits like wic?????? im just on wic and it helps. i know women at different ages and classes on wic! some r even rich on wic!!!!!!!!!!! im 20 with a husband and a baby. we r very well off own place, cars, and i m a stay at home mom until college next spring. i think that a young adult shouldnt b looked down on. especially if we r down well. but it isnt right for a teenager to have kids.  

Answer 4

I can totally understand where you are coming from!  My husband and I married when I was 18 and he was 19.  (we married after our first child was born because my husband wanted everyone to know that he was marrying me because he loves me, not because of our wonderful baby).  I am currently pregnant with our second child (at age 23), and I have noticed that when I take my older daughter with me people will stop and stare.  (And yes, you are right it is usually the women who are between the ages of 30 - 50 years old).  The women who did this to you are immature, rude and completely judgemental!  

I was in a similar situation in the grocery store and I was working full time and going to college full time at that point and I turned around and gave them h**l for their rude remarks.  Usually I find that setting people straight will get them to stop, although there are times when they are best ignored.  Just do the best you can for your family.  Remember, you are not alone and that those of us who are young moms will have the benefit of our kids going to college or "leaving the nest" while we are still young enough to go out and enjoy ourselves!  

Answer 5

A lot of older people are old school they believe that if a younger person has a kid they would not have the money to take care of the kid.  They also see a lot of girls sleeping around so they believe that everyone does.  I don't agree with it but they say those kind of things anyway.  I am a ninteen year old mother with a seven week old and I don't get any help so I know how you feel.  

Answer 6

Because the fact is that almost all young girls who have babies are not stable.  Meaning they may do 1 or more of these things - have children by different fathers, have someone else raise their child, don't work, get lots of assistance from the state, are immature & irresponsible, &/or think they can get pregnant in order to keep/control a man.  I know it's not like this for all young mothers, but it is for the majority, I'm not stereotyping, it's just the facts.  

Answer 7

i feel bad for you. it sounds like your doing pretty good, but since there are so many irrisponsible teenage girls that are that way, you get stereotyped as being all that bad stuff to. just try to ignor it and continue doing the right thing. my older sister went through the same thing. she was married at 17 but she looked younger than that. most of the people that cast judgment like that are probably just upset about the way their lives are.  

Answer 8

People are so single minded and if you don't do things according to their values, morals, and views, your just wrong.  That, or they watch too much television.

Answer 9

wow i cant believe that lady. she had no right whatsoever. honestly honey, shes probably not happy with herself. haha wow! who cares if you WERE receiving benifits, at least you are taking care of your child. your married and both your kids are from the same guy!