Why does everyone think you should have two kids instead of one?

Question

My husband (32 yrs.) and I (35 yrs) have a 10 month old baby boy. We have talked about only have one child. It seems everyone thinks we should have two. If you only had one child, can you give me your thoughts? I'm not dead set against having another one, but financially it would be tough. Any thoughts?

Answer 1

If you only want one child, just have one child. We are told what we can and can't do in every other aspect of our lives these days, but do what YOU want when it comes to your family. If having another child will stretch you financially and may mean that your second child does not have the same quality of life as your first, then stick to the one. You will decide in time what is the right thing to do, and if you fulfill your roles as parents to full effect, there is absolutely no reason why your son should be "lonely", there is after all 3 of you in the household.

Answer 2

If you feel that your family would be complete with just one child, then have just one. You can focus all your attention on that one child. I chose to have 3 because I was an only child and only grandchild and I was lonely growing up and I didn't want my children to feel lonely.

Answer 3

i think if you are a happy content family with one then you should change anything because people tell you that you should have 2. Especially if you will be more financially stretched. If you are happy then enjoy your baby because that is all that matters

Answer 4

I don't answer this question from my own experience, but my mother in law is 72 years old and when she was in her younger days she had two boys(the loves of her life) And the younger one was killed by a car while on his bicycle. Although she had her older son (my husband) it was so tough on her, but she stayed strong for him. My point is, not that you can predict a death, but what if anything happens to your child? Then you have no children, but if you have two(not saying it makes it any easier on losing a child) you have something to stay stong for, and you dont fall apart. And P.s. NO ONE is ever financially ready, but things have a way of working themselves out:)

Answer 5

I'm in the same boat, sister. I have a 2 1/2 year old son and everyone thinks I should give my son a sibling, but like you it would be tough financially.

Right now we are happy with my son too.

I will be checking for answers to this one.

Personally, I think if one child is all you can handle emotionally and physically, and financially, I think you should stop at one.

Answer 6

My husband and I are on track for just one. I'm currently 23 weeks pregnant with our #1. My pregnancy hasn't been the easiest for me, and I honestly can't imagine doing this twice, but maybe if I wasn't working (which will never happen). I think about how nice it was to grow up with my siblings and how lonely my dad was as an only child and it makes me want a second regardless of pain of pregnancy. My husband however is dead set on one. I guess I'm not sure either, but I also get comments that I have to have two. This unsolicited advice bugs me, people need to keep their comments to themselves. Maybe we'll have another, maybe not. I'm sitting on it for a few years while I enjoy my first, then we'll see...

Answer 7

well theres the chance of the child being lonely if single child, but then theres the chance of financial problems with multiple not to mention the bickering and arguring and fighting. but of course there are the pros. if you have one child you focus all your love on them (and still your husband of course). and you dont run the risk of financial problems. and the pros of multiple children is when they do get along its an awesome thing.

Answer 8

Because being an only child can be pretty lonely at times.  Sibs are 'a good thing'.

Answer 9

Two children approximates the number needed to maintain the population.  Since not every baby lives long enough to reproduce, the actual number of kids per family for a stable population averages about 2.1.  But it is much more important to deal with your own perceptions on the matter than to try to match a general average.

Answer 10

one child is great,as long as you make sure it learns the same life lessons as if it had a sibling.

Answer 11

We are just now trying for our first, and for the longest, one child was all I wanted. But then, my brother in law died in an auto accident, leaving behind three kids, and that's when we realized the importance of siblings. When the parents are gone, all they have is each other. So we are definitely shooting for two.

Answer 12

*L* I planned on having only one child and was told the same thing, " Oh, he needs a brother or sister! He will be lonely" etc. etc. Well, my mind got changed and not by other people but by my son. When I'd take him to the play ground, all the other kids had playmates and it was always their siblings. My son would try and play with them, but most of the time was ignored. That is when I decided he did need a sibling to go through this life with. That was last fall and planned to start trying during this spring. As things would have it, I got pregnant on the Pill last fall and am currently 32 wks with another son.

It is everyone's right to have only one child and not have to be grilled about it. You never know what tomorrow may bring. Maybe a change of heart for you too.:)

Hope this helps.