Why does he constantly double standard me?

Question

Here's the thing: my boyfriend and I both have my space accounts. If you look at my profile it is all about him, me his 6 yr old daughter and our little bun in the oven. What can I say, I love them. However, if you get on his website, you would think he's still single. He doesn't mention me, he's still listed as being "divorced" and the picture on his profile is of him without a shirt. What I think the picture says is this, "look at me. Look at my s**y body. Want me? Send a message". We both agreed that we would delete the Ex's from our profiles which he has not done yet (and it's going on 5 months) I don't have ANY of my old guy friends on there and NONE of my Ex's are on my profile; yet he STILL talks to his Ex's, he agreed to put me on his profile to show everyone how in love he is with me (still waiting on that one) and everytime I get upset because some girl has put up a "love your s**y body, hope to see you soon" comment, he says that I'm "just acting crazy and he didn't do anything wrong and they are 'just friends'". Can ANYONE tell me WHY I shouldn't be insecure about this when I know darn F*CKING well that he would be ALL OVER MY @SS if he saw something like that on my profile??? Am I making an sense?

Another point here: just last night I got on to his profile (from my profile) and saw that he had added yet ANOTHER girl from Arkansas onto his friends list "just to see who she was". This girl also sent several racy comments to his profile. When I approached him about it he said it wasn't any of my business and that she is an "old" friend. What's funny is that he's only ever been to Florida as far as the US goes and he's already told me he doesn't know ANYONE in Arkansas. Not only that but her state ID says "Arkansas...soon to be Ohio". Am I making too much out of this or do you think he's moving on and just hasn't told me yet???

If you're a guy and your out to defend my man...please don't answer. I want honest feedback and insight. My heart is breaking and this is wreaking havoc on our realtionship and I don't want that! I'm 33 and pregnant with his second child. Somehow I need him to see that he is placing double standards on me and wrecking ME apart! If this keeps up, I'm afraid of what it will do to the baby...let alone my state of mind.

Answer 1

Dump his *** or make him change it. One or the other. No waiting or wait and see if he changes. Make him do it now!

Stop stressing and tell him to grow up!

good luck ma ma! XOXO

Answer 2

Your telling me you gave up your  "guy friends" and deleted all of your old "ex's" for him and your profile is all about y'all but he is still acting like the cool single man. Sounds to me he gets the best of both worlds. He has a wife material at home pregnant with his baby who loves his daughter. And he gets to act like to cool single guy on myspace. It is possible that he is just freaking out you said your 33 how old is he? He could be going through his mid life crisis if you will or just be a jerk. Either way I've found it's best not to put standards on relationships. When my husband and I got married he was still friends with some of his exs and I didn't want him to stop talking to them because I wanted him to, I wanted him to do it because he started a new life. Eventually he did. If you keep nagging him about it he may just be doing it because your making it forbidden. As for giving up the friends of the opposite s*x, that really isn't healthy. I mean you shouldn't have to change yourself because of who your with. My bestfriend is a guy, and I'm a married mom. You really need to learn to  trust him. And if these people aren't in the same state as you, why does it matter?? If your worried about him cheating or leaving hes going to do it regardless of  the restrictions you put on him. If you honestly feel that your not on his myspace at all and it really bothers you, try asking him to put a family picture up. Don't come off as the nagging GF try to explain to him CALMLY that it hurts you and you feel like he's hiding you. If he still wont compromise, theres probably an underlying issue here.  

Answer 3

I'm not really sure how's your overall relationship with him so far. But maybe his MySpace is his getaway from all the reality of being a responsible partner and a father. I'm sorry if this wrong, but maybe he's not in the same place as you are right now. He is well aware that he's going to father two wonderful kids, but maybe inside he's not ready for that at all. His MySpace account probably the only place where he can still feel that he still got "it", meaning he's still wanted by women, just to boost his confidence hopefully and not for anything more.

Not just men I think, but even women would feel good (even just a little) when you other men say you look beautiful and such. I know it from my personal experience. I've been with my man for 4 years, and after awhile .. he rarely compliment me and even stop noticing if I put extra effort to look good just for him! So when strangers stopped me at a mall or anywhere else asking for my number and such, it was hard to believe because I just thought I'm not that attractive anymore.

So that's what I think. Your man just want to have a getaway place where he can still re-live his "singlehood". I say if he doesn't actually pursue to meet all the girls commented in his profile, then let him have his own space, until he finally accept the reality and be more mature.

Another thing, I just quickly check my friends' profiles.. and even though I know for sure some of my guy friends are totally in love with  their girlfriends and wives .. surprising majority of them don't put family and couple pictures in their profiles. But they definitely put "in a relationship" or "married" though! So maybe you want to nudge your man just to change his status from "divorce" to "in a relationship" :)

Oh .. and if your profile is on top of his friends' list, make sure your primary photo is a close-up couple picture of you and him, so that all his friends (including his Exs and female friends) can see it too ;)

Answer 4

My thought is :- He is enjoying all your attention. Don't say anything for awhile, let the matter drop. The guy is an idiot and obviously enjoys seeing you upset. You are also letting him control you, you have dropped all your male friends for this jerk. Get them back and enjoy your friendships.

DO NOT LET HIM CONTROL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

Answer 5

i was in the same postiton as  you my bf use to be the way your is ... give him a warning i do have a story that i can tell you an dhow it ended .... but its to long... if you want to talk or whatever emial at [e-mail].. ,,, and ill tell you what you wanna know