Why does he continue to lead me on?

Question

I am 20 and he's 21. My guy friend and I are very close. He treats me really well, has told me he loves me, calls me about everyday. Tells me he misses me etc and that I mean the world to him. He even gets angry when I have a boyfriend.

Every time I tell him how I feel and that I want a relationship, he uses the d*mn excuse that we would argue too much. It's like he continues to set me up for this emotional trap. He gets really close to me, leads me on and when i suggest a relationship he backs away. I don't think any guy would call his female "friend" everyday and talk to her for hrs. on end. So I know I am not reading too much into this. I would also like to add that him and I have never had s*x with each other, so it's not a sexual thing.

I am just frustrated with him giving me the green light and make me think that I have a chance and then bam! He uses the same excuse. What should I do and what kind of game is he playing.

I am just frustrated. Let me give u an exp. of how close we are. When he was entering the academy and seeing if he passed his test, he was like you are going to be the 1st person who knows anything before anyone else. He called me before he called his mom or anyone else.

What's the deal? Should I just back off?

Answer 1

I can tell you that he might have feelings for you but maybe has a hard time expressing them sexually for you.  You should ask if he has ever had a real girlfriend before.  His answer might tell you a lot about how he has treated girls in the past that he has liked.  

Answer 2

he is g*y or thinks you are ugly and the most he will be for you is a friend , you need to find a boyfriend who actually wants to have s*x with you , thats like a big part of the whole boyfriend girlfriend thing  

Answer 3

Yes,,,,Back off and back off NOW before he notices how DESPERATE you're behaving. Keep ya pimp hand strong. You don't supposed to be acting like this over a man....

CHUCH!

Answer 4

I don't even have to read your story to answer this.  He leads you on because you let him.  He likes the ego boost of your adoration and he plays games with you because you allow it.

Have some self respect and start to focus your attentions elsewhere.

Answer 5

Why do you let him?  Either you can be friends and that is it or you need to make a decision to let him go--In my opinion it doesn't sound so healthy if he gets angry when you have a boyfriend.  You need to stand up for yourself and tell him if it is too hard for him to be your friend then you need to stop relying on each other so much.

Answer 6

Go find someone willing to have a relationship. This guy has commitment problems.  

Answer 7

maybe he is shy about his true feelings for u n most probably he is not ready for a committed relationship yet. give him so time n help him to cope with it. ask him wat he is afraid of if he is committed to this relationship, give him some assurance and talk things over. see how best each other can help one another to cope in the committed relationship.

Answer 8

I think you already know this, but you are his "safety". He likes you, he can see himself settling for you in some misty future, but he's not sure that he can't do better yet. Usually it's women that do this, but guys can be guilty as well. I know it's harsh and hard to hear, but if you were his first choice he would already be with you and if he wasn't "saving" you for something he would encourage you to get a boyfriend so you won't scare the other girls away.

Enjoy your great friendship, but don't keep looking for something else with him. Start dating other guys and if he says anything, call him out on his behavior. Let him know if HE wants you then you will be with him, but if he only wants to be friends you want to go find a healthy relationship with a man who wants to be your bf not your bff.

Answer 9

Yes, he's playing with you. Think about it, "We would argue too much" is a ridiculous excuse, there is always a remedy for that, you can seek counseling or even work through your problems like adults.

I would back off . It doesn't sound like he cares about having a relationship and you don't want to waste your time on someone like that.

I was with a guy like that and he was  a HUGE waste of time, would you know he is 45 years old and still playing around. He's not married and has never had a serious girlfriend.  

Answer 10

Id say just kiss him sometime. See if he kisses back. If he doesnt just wait a bit and tell him to stop getting so flippin jealous. But if he does kiss back that shows that he does want a relationship.

Answer 11

I personally think that he doesn't want to start a relationship because if something bad happened (i.e. arguing too much) he thinks that It will ruin your relationship as friends. He doesn't have the confidence to take a chance because he knows that your bond means the world to him. I would try talking to him about how you feel and what he's doing to you. Try to get him to tell you what's going on.. guys are confusing.. I would know. You should continue your relationship as friends but wait for him to make the first move... when he's ready. I hope I was a help.  

Answer 12

Back off and back off before he leads you on more!!!! hehe Go find someone else to get down with

Answer 13

I agree that you allow him to lead you on but that's because your feelings for him are different than his for you.

Stop analyzing all the conversations and realize that they don't matter because the bottom line is that he keeps you at bay,

If he really wanted to date you, he'd have done so by now.