Why does he treat me this way???

Question

I've known this guy for 7 years, and we continuously have this on/off relationship where we start talking again after a few months. He spouts off a lot of pretty words, and I stroke his ego simply by coming back. And after a day or two of not getting along, he makes up a very convincing story about just how imperfect I am by basically rattling off about my flaws, then stops talking to me. It's never even about what I've done. For instance, he didn't call to cancel our date tonight, then proceeded to tell me that he was out with another girl.

I don't understand this. I'm not a stupid person. He keeps coming back so it's not like the sentiment is completely one-sided. Why does he keep doing this to me? It f-cking OBLITERATES my emotions and I get so upset. I don't know who I'm more upset with - him, or myself for putting myself through this yet again. I would never put up with anyone else doing this to me, and he's not even particularly that great. I'm stunned. Can anyone help, please?

Answer 1

Yes this is quite normal (well he should treat you better.)  A lot of relationships are like this.  Either he has some childhood issues that keep him from getting close to you.  And he needs to be more sensitive.  

The sad part is that it takes two to tangle.  In some ways you have teached this insensitive clod

that you will accept him back again.  Perhaps the best way to help yourself is to tell him how you feel.  Try to be gentle-us guys have fragile egos.

You might have to create rules if he doen't comply with your feelings.  However be prepared & know he might not come back.  Good luck.