Why does it hurt more when you person cheats on you? Is it an ego thing?

Question

Okay here's my situation I'll try to keep it short I meet a guy about 2 years ago the first 6 months we were just friends (I'm 22 he's 26) although i'm young I have always had my life in control in the terms of my career and my career personal goals. A short while after I meet him he lost his job and started to sell drugs I told him that I could not be with him for doing that, that he had to get his life in control then maybe we could form a an actually REAL relationship. He told me that he really loved me and that he was gonna change since I was the best thing that ever happened to him blah blah....

I was starting to get over him since his lifestyle was a real turn off for me but yesterday he accidentally sent my cell phone a romantic text message that was meant for another girl...at first I felt like maybe this guy was not good enough for me and that I deserved better but now since he was obviously a too face it makes me feel that maybe i was not good enough for me????? Is this just because my ego has been hurt?

Answer 1

I suppose it is a bit of an ego thing, feeling like you're not good enough for someone is very hurtful, especially (when in your case) that person is not good enough for you!  It makes you wonder why you stuck with that person through all the rubbish.  When you're with someone, you want them to see you as being the best woman in their eyes, if they take that away from you it can ruin your self-confidence.  

I was told by a guy I was dating once that a lot of guys don't seem to realise a good thing until it's gone.

Answer 2

it's not your fault. he just isn't the one, obviously. he didn't want to work on the issues together so that in the end he'd be what you wanted in a guy so he essentially made the relationship over. and hey let someone else have him if that's how he's going to be. you can do better but I'm sure you've heard that a ton so far. But it's the truth. don't settle for less than you want in life because you'll regret it later.

Answer 3

No its not your ego its your heart!  You know what you want in a partner and what you deserve so dump the loser!  Sounds like your to good for him anyways, you need to move on to someone better!

Answer 4

you're hurt because you were hoping that he felt the same way you do , but he proved that he don't. you will get over it the same way you got over him not getting a real job, take your life as it is and live each day to it's fullest to satisfy yourself, you know what you wnat and what you don't. don't worry about it, you will realize you are better off.

Answer 5

In my case what hurt worse was what it was doing to my family.  She was fooling around and decided that the younger model was the way to go.  What ended up happening was that my sons life was tossed all around.  It really was not the hurt ego, but the realization that I should not have trusted that woman in the first place.  I guess the fessing up that I had made a poor choice for a life partner.

Answer 6

Ego thing no...well maybe for the conceited who think "who is HE to cheat on someone like ME...he should be glad he could GET ME!"

But it hurts more because you gave your trust and love to someone who pretty much spit on it and kicked it around. It's an insult as you offered your friendship, love, and trust that you don't give to just ANYONE...something special only from YOU....so if you go really deep into it, it CAN be an ego thing...but it's more just an insult to your heart....

---What I dont understand is if a man or women fins a person who yes might be out of thier league wouldn't that individual be more inclined to change thier bad ways in order to make a good relationship work?---

If they were out of his/her league what are they doing trying to get with them anyway?  That's like saying you get a dodge viper but can't afford it...you'll eventually lose it.

Answer 7

It's not your ego, dear, it's your corazon. Your heart!

You were in a relationship with him, no? A committed one? He broke that commitment. He betrayed you.

You still have feelings for him and he broke them. That's why you're upset.

Answer 8

Let him go.    You sound like you have your life together.  If he really cared for you he would have tried to get things right . you shouldn't try any change someone  since if they have to work at being what you want they will get tired of working so had at the change and return how they always act

Answer 9

I believe in every relationship when a partner finds out they've been cheated on there is a little bit of ego damage in it, but more so the betrayal of trust.

The only reason you should feel insulted by this guy is if you believe you deserve him...and now he's giving ALLLL that horrible lifestyle to some one else.

Answer 10

Not your ego, but your self-esteem has been hurt, and also your trust in him. His cheating has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. He has made the choice to lie, cheats, and make promises he doesn't intend to keep. That doesn't sound like a man of integrity. You can do better! Don't settle -- find someone who is worthy of your trust and love.  

Answer 11

I think it hurts when you get cheated on because you put your trust in that one person. But let me tell you honey, if the guy is selling drugs then he is not worthy of your friendship! I know for a fact that men and women that use and sell drugs USE those drugs to get whatever they want. Chances are if he's selling them, he's using them! and when a person is into the drug world, they are not themselves.Drugs are mind altering and they are evil, people do things they never thought they would do.Yes your ego has been hurt but consider yourself one of the lucky ones. You sound like you have your s#*% together so keep it that way and forget about him.  

Answer 12

In short, girl, get over it.  You sound like you do have your life together, so don't shortchange yourself by pining over a two-timing drug dealer.  Seriously, do you see yourself still with someone like that in 10 or 15 years?  If you do, you need more help than I can give!