Why does it seem mothers allow misbehavior?

Question

It seems like this would be embarassing. I know that if my children act up, I deal with it. I'm not claiming to be perfect, but to me it's pretty cut and dry. Your either the adult, or the child. When did it become acceptable to allow this behavior? Is it easier to ignore the situation?

Answer 1

Some children are just plain bad and no dicipline will help their behavior.  In that case, children need to be taken to the doctor for a diagnosis.  Normally they have some kind of hormonal imbalance or disorder which can be treated.

Answer 2

If my sisters ever act up in public my mom always turns to them and says where are ur parents and it is so funny to see the kids reactions. They almost always stop crying. So my opion is to ignore the behavior casue it is never acceptable to act up

Answer 3

That depends upon the situation and since you're not the mother of the children who act up you really have nothing to say about it.  Every parent has the right to parent as THEY see fit not as YOU see fit.  These aren't your children to parent.

Answer 4

I think it all depends on what you consider "misbehavior."

For example, we were at the pet store the other day buying some things for our pond, and while I was paying, my son was looking through the pet toys and started squeaking them.  The cashier looked over at him, and in a not-very-nice tone of voice, said, "Please don't squeak the toys.  It scares the birds."  He immediately stopped, but she glared at me nonetheless and muttered something about there being a sign.

When I was finished paying and went to get my son, I realized that yes, there was a sign that read "Kindly refrain from squeaking the toys, as it has a tendency to frighten the birds."  And while my son is only five years old, he could read all of the words on the sign once I showed it to him, but you wouldn't necessarily assume that most children that age could read many of those words.  The bigger issue was that the sign was hung almost six feet up the wall, so he couldn't even see it or read it until I lifted him up and showed it to him.  I casually remarked (figuring the cashier could hear me), "I'm sure you would have been able to read the sign if you had seen it."

Yes, I'm sure the cashier has to deal with 200 people a week squeaking the dog toys, but what she perceived as my son "misbehaving" was merely a kid being a kid, being naturally curious, and not being able to read instructions that were positioned far too high for him to be able to read (and that should have been written in shorter, simpler words for the children to whom the sign was most likely directed).

Answer 5

ok, let me give you some stuff to think on, ok?  I live in what is called the ghetto, here in Va.

no those children whom are not yours to parent,should not be parented by you. My kids were raised in a strict environment, as I am autistic,and i get complements on how good they behave. I have,hoswever,seen kids whom I would love to smack silly,as the parents just watch and think the kid's bad behavior is funny. those are the types that should not have kids. I have lived in public housing,and I see that most kids ,for the most part,are decent,if they have proper parenting,and the parents arent crappy parents. money means nothing in this case. i was raised poor and I live in poverty. One can tell if the parents were successful,in their parenting,if the child behaves well,AWAY from the parents.

    Most parents are too care-worn to care if the kid misbehaves or not. Drugs/booze/bad habits, make bad kids,right?  Not always. I was expected to grow up like my drunken and drugged mom n dadn. I have never done such stupid things and ppl are suprised.

Most ppl would benefit from parenting classes, who has time?  Kids should be a form of investment, not an accsessory.

Answer 6

It's just lazy parenting.

There will be times that your child will act up & you will have to ignore it...but for the most part parents need to stop letting their children run the show.

Answer 7

You are absolutely right!  Some behavior is just kid behavior.  If it is bothersome then the parent needs to simply tell the child to please stop. If the child refuses, then it becomes defiant.  The behavior that needs to be addressed is the defiant behavior. When it comes to a test of wills, the parent has to establish the fact that they are the parent.  This had better happen during the toddler stage when a parent begins saying "no,no".  The child must learn to obey whether at home or in public.  If the parent allows the child free reign in public, then the child knows he has free reign in public.  I have 6 kids, one is very strong willed.  We had a very tough time in her two's and as a teenager.  (I cried in private many times) but, I never gave up on her...I picked my battles carefully, but several times I had to raise my voice and remind her, "I'm the parent, you're the child". Rose Kennedy said "You need to break the will, but not the spirit."  I remembered those words as I raised my kids. That strong willed daughter of mine is almost 20 now and has told me many, many times..."Mom thank you for being hard on me. I see how alot of my friends have turned out and I know I would have been just like them".

Yes, it bothers me to observe parents who allow their kids to defy parental authority.  Especially in public.  Ignore bad behavior?  That is poor life skills training.  Are their teachers supposed to ignore bad behavior, hoping it will stop?  As an adult, is their boss going to ignore innappropriate behavior?  Perhaps the police officer will look the other way and ignore bad behavior too. Children must learn to obey those in positions of authority.  It starts at home.

I keep my mouth shut when I see lazy parenting. My children almost always want to talk about it when we are out of earshot of the situation.  Great vicarious learning opportunity.

Answer 8

In certain situations (such as a temper tantrum in public) it is actually recommended to not enforce the behavior by giving the child attention for it - you're supposed to completely ignore the behavior so that it extinguishes itself.

Answer 9

Some parents in public,deal with the kids once they get home. Other parents just don't care. I don't understand those types of parents either. I hope this helped.

-Tara