Question:

Why does it seems so many want to adopt outside of American when there are so many in America to adopt?

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Yes I understand that overall Americans have very good lifes. I also understand other peoples should be given the chance at a good life when for sure they live in countries that do nothing for ophans. Im not against helping either. I just think we should help our own first, there are just so many needy kids in our own country that are without parents.

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21 ANSWERS


  1. because some people see them like little pets that they can keep.  or it's their way of thinking they are making a difference world wide.


  2. I totally agree. While I was driving to PA, I drove through the Appalachian mts. in West Virginia. Oh My God, talk about sad!!!! These kids don't even have shoes, or school supplies or indoor plumbing. I live in IL and there are kids that live in "hollers" less than 600 miles from me that don't even know what indoor plumbing is. That blows my mind. If I had the option of helping a child I would definitely start at home. `I think everyone heart is in the right place, they just view the US as such a rich country that they don't realize the suffering going on right out their back door. Who would guess that with our welfare system that any child would go hungry, or without school supplies or shoes? But it happens. I have seen it.

  3. Any adoption process is tedious and complicated.  I heard that adopting from other countries is much faster and less complicated... The previous answer(Pooka) is right!

  4. They want to be different or like a celebrity.

  5. they just dont like the people in their own country why do you think they spend thousands to keep you away from them

  6. Adoption is such a personal decision, no one can tell anyone else how to build their families.  If someone wants to adopt internationally, rather then domestically, that is their choice, not for you to force on them another choice that they aren't comfortable with.  

    People are allowed to build (or not build) their families anyway they want.  I do not go up to pregnant people and tell them that they should have adopted a child before bringing another into our all ready overpopulated world, and I do not think it is right for them to come up to me and tell me I should have adopted domestically.  

    It is not your business, it is not my business.  You build your family how you want to build it, and I will build my family how I want to.  If you are so concerned with the needy children here in the US, how many have you adopted???

    EDIT:  Also, most people do not adopt children in order to "rescue" them.  Adoption is just another way to build a family.  Since, of course, it is seen as not the "normal" way to build a family, a lot of people feel they have a right to judge the motivations behind adoption, when most people who are adopting are doing so because they want to be a parent, not because they want to save someone.  Adopting to save a child is so wrong on many aspects.  I do not want my child to feel gratitude to me for adopting them, "saving" them.  I want them to feel as much of an equal in our family as a biological child would.

  7. For the simple reason that when you adopt from another country, you go through a less invasive process than here in America. And it's quicker.

  8. I totally agree with you. I have asked myself that very same question.

  9. Some common reasons for adoption internationally are

    - Once an adoption is final, it is final.  There will be no legal challenges down the road to the validity of your adoption.

    - International adoptions involve children who are born and waiting for families.  There are no pre birth matches.  No risk for heartbreak in matches that do not work out once a child is born.  Many domestic adoption "professionals" pressure expectant women and potential adoptive families into matching before a child is even born.  This can lead to many complications for both parties after birth.

    - Many countries do not have social services.  If children do not have families they do not go to foster care.  They are turned out on to the streets, or worse.

    - International adoption is more predictable than domestic adoption.  You know up front approximately how long it will take and what is expected of you every step of the way.  You may wait for days or years to adopt domestically and the requirements are not as predictable.

    - Less financial risk.  Sometimes in domestic adoption a family financially supports an expectant mother during her pregnancy.  If she decides to parent she is not responsible for reimbursing the potential adoptive family.  In international adoption you don't run the same risk because all cases involve children who are already born and relinquished.

    International adoption is not necessarily faster or less complicated.  You have to deal with local government, state government, Federal government all the way to the FBI and then  you have to deal with a foreign government.  It's is in no way fast or easy.

  10. yes but the kids with no parents here have a meal and a bed everynight or a fosterhome. orphans in other parts of the world (russia, vietnam, africa...etc) most of them have no bed hardly any food. its much worse for them since they live in mostly 3rd world countries.

  11. Because most people want to adopt a baby, and in this country instead of letting good parents raise babies that perhaps can not be cared for by the birth parents, we just murder them.  I give a lot of credit to any mother in this country that has the guts to give a baby up for adoption instead of abortion.

  12. I know many parents of adopted children could find reasons to be offended by your question.  I, however, will assume you are sincere in your question and mean no offense.

    My wife and I adopted a little girl from China in March.  We are older and the american adoption system is really not designed for people such as us.  Public adoption agencies are not interested in older parents and private adoption, to us, felt more like a baby market.  First you have to sell youself to the prospective mother and then hope she doesn't change her mind.  

    Further, stories of adoptions being challenged in court just makes the investment of your heart and soul to risk having it all undone, seemed to great.

    I know there a many many children in foster care but most of this kids are older and we just didn't think we could face the problems that come with adopting an older child.  I truly admire those who do and wish we could.  But I thnk it is best to be honest and if you can't handle it then don't do it.

    We chose China because we truly believed that is where our daughter was.  The process for China is long, ours was almost 2 years, and it is getting longer and more and more people are choosing China and the number of children they adopt out is getting less.

    We love our daughter more than words can express.  China is a wonderful country with a rich history.  However, the fact is the future life for orphaned girls is pretty grim.  I cannot imagine what our daughter's future would have been if she had not been adopted.  

    Finally, while I agree with you that there is needs in america, especially with the older foster care kids, there is also a need in china.  Just because they are living in china does not make them any less deserving of a good home.    We are all God's children.  

    We might have gone through an american adoption if that would have been an option but it really isn't.

  13. Most of the people who end up adopting children abroad have probably gone through trying to adopt a child through lines in the United States. Yes it is true that there are a lot of unwanted Children in the United States, but obviously you haven't gone through the process to try and adopt a child in the States. You are put through so much paperwork and so many questions and there are so many barriers that you have to pass that they basically make it impossible to adopt a child in America. You have to be between a certain age, you can't be white and adopt a black child, you have to have an apartment that is a certain size, in a certain area. If you have been sick; ie had cancer in the past even though you are now clear, and your partner is completely healthy you are denied.  I could go on and on.  So, as it is so hard to adopt an American child people go abroad.

  14. How many children from our children have YOU adopted?  I hear this question asked so many times, and hear the answer "we need to help our own first".  Well, YOU (not just you, the asker, but YOU the people who question this are a part of that "we") have the ability to help those children also!

    Instead of questioning the motives of adoptive parents, do something about it yourself!  Then you have actually accomplished something, questioning others has not really accomplished a thing.

    Do you have biological children?  How is having your own biological children instead of adopting "our own" any different from adopting from another country instead of adopting "our own"?  Again, take action instead of just talking!

    The decision to adopt is a personal one.  We plan to adopt one or two little girls from China in the relatively near future (and we also have a daughter and a son, and another daughter on the way-all biological).  Why China?  Because that is where God has led us.  In our hearts, we believe our children are there.  I have felt that way since I was in my mid-teen years.

    It has nothing to do with feeling like I made a difference worldwide, I am simply making a difference for ONE child-the one that is going to be mine.  

    Adopting from the US is a wonderful thing, but it is not as easy as 'they' make it sound.  

    The private adoption of a healthy infant in the United States costs tens of thousands of dollars, can take many years, and the birth parents can come back sometimes YEARS later and try to disrupt your family (although in most cases this does not happen).  I have known several people, however, where the birth parents did come back within the specified time (varies by state) and they lost the child.  How absolutely heartbreaking, for both the adoptive parents and the child!

    Adopting from the US Foster Care system is also a great thing, something I would LOVE to do.  However, most children waiting in the US Foster Care system are not yet legally free for adoption.  Healthy infants are nearly impossible to adopt as the waiting list is so long.  You can adopt older children, sibling groups, and/or special needs children if you feel capable.  However, they often have a lot of issues after having lived in the situations they were removed from their homes for.  Also, in some cases they are placed with you for months or years before they are legally free for adoption, only for the courts to return them to the parents who abused and neglected them in the first place.  Again, a disrupted home for both the adoptive families and the children.  How heartbreaking for all!

    There are many wonderful turnouts in these cases, but you have to decide if you are willing to invest the time, money and most importantly emotions on the "dream" that you might be one of those cases that turn out well.

    With international adoption, which is also costly and in some cases takes a lot of time, there IS a baby at the end that IS going to be yours.  It makes the process much more bearable.

    I challenge all of you who speak against international adoption because we need to take care of "our own"...to go do it yourself instead of judging others!  ALL children of the world deserve a good home, and they ARE "our own".

    EDITED TO ADD: Adopting internationally is NOT less easier, less expensive, or quicker!  You have to satisfy requirements of your state AND the country you adopt from, as well as requirements of the USA to bring a child into this country on a VISA.  It costs a lot more than the foster care adoptions that you all are talking about (which are often free), and it can take YEARS.  

    I would think that people would atleast try to educate themselves somewhat on a subject they are answering a question about, rather than sounding ignorant by spouting off a bunch of c**p and citing it as "fact".

  15. Well, I was adopted from another country.  My parents were little older when they started the process, and Colombia was pretty quick and didn't have age restrictions.  I guess it was a faster and less invasive process then a local adoption.  I think they also didn't really want to have an open adoption and it was easier to have a closed adoption overseas.  I think my mom didn't want some one showing up on the door step 10 years later asking to see me and know me.  She wanted that to be my decision when I was an adult.  Also, in third world countries there isn't anyone to take in the children given up.  I am glad my parents gave me a chance.  As a mother now myself, I can appreciate everything my parents went through to get me.

  16. there are several reasons

    My wife and i are looking to adopt and decided on local but international was appealing because one it is actually quicker to get a child abroad in most cases Two it is cheaper than private or agency adoption. Three the birth mother has 30days to change her mind before the adoption is final so you run the chance of loosing your child.  where as abroad the children are in orphanges or the family  willingly gives you the child.  It is alot less hassel and heart ache to go abroad

  17. Why do we have to answer this question several times a week? Do a search, this question has been answered a dozen times already.

  18. American laws.

    You could adopt a baby, and generally, anytime in the baby's life the biological mother could change her mind, go to court, and take the kid back.

    Or, just change her mind last minute.

    Who wants that?

    International adoptions are "all said and done" when you meet the baby.  It just seems less "risky".

  19. A lot of people can not handle the disappointment of the mother taking the child back. In America you have a certain amount of time after the child is given up for adoption to take the child back even if you signed away your rights. In other countries you can adopt a child without the worry of the birth parents taking back the child. Do disrespect to you but you just can't come on here and say adopt from your own country. Be glad that people are adopting from all kinds of different countries. I know there are a lot of children in America waiting on someone to be a parent to them but so are children in Africa, Columbia, Guatemala, Cambodia, China, ect. If everyone adopted only from there own country there would be a lot more kids in the 3rd world countries without parents and maybe without hope. Don't tell people where to adopt a child from because unless you have adopted a child then you have no right to say anything to the people who have.

  20. Because an orphan in America is still much better off than an orphan from another country, particularly countries where women are mistreated. Many people feel they are rescuing a little girl from a life of oppression and servitude.

  21. Have _you_ adopted and/or fostered a U.S. child??? I always say "put your money where your mouth is!" (Also, then you won't have to worry so much about what everyone else is doing.)

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