Why does my 18 month old always want to be babied?

Question

My 18 month old daughter just wants to be babied, she is showing no 'normal' signs of toddler independence. She wants to be spoon fed, won't eat any finger foods, doesn't chew her food (I still have to blend it up for her like a baby), won't help get herself dressed, cries everytime I tell her to do anything. She is just so annoying (yes that sounds terrible, I love her so much but she's impossible to live with) and time outs don't work. Is this normal, or should I be worried about her?

Answer 1

I would talk to your pediatrician at her next checkup.

Answer 2

Every child is different.  I would not worry too much about this at this point, her independence gene will kick in any moment now.

Tomorrow, when she's leaving for the prom pull out this question from your memory book and have a good laugh.

Answer 3

You are allowing and contributing to the behavior.  If you will blend up her food she is gonna let you, why chew.  Now not to alarm you but you need to mention this to her doctor.  It might be nothing but her behavior is a bit outside general 19 month old behavior.  It could be that she is perfectly capable but since mommy will baby her, hey who wouldnt enjoy it and take it if they could get it?  You first need to find out if there is a problem and then you need to act and expect her to at the very least chew her food.  Stop the blending.  If she won't eat it, let her go hungry.  Crying is her weapon and you are falling for it every time.  She cries and you jump. who is training who here?  I am certain that you are stressed and a bit worried and annoyed but you must get a handle on those feelings because honey, this is only the beginning and you ain't seen nothing yet.  Wait until you try to potty train someone who has no idea what you want them to do and does not care about doing it.  Wait until you have a five year old that will not stop asking questions on top of questions.  Wait until you have a 12 year old that wants a push up bra and make up.  Wait until you have a 16 year old that is already two hours late coming home.  Annoying, oh girl  you think this is annoying?  This is the good part of the ride.

Answer 4

Every Child is different. My daughter wouldn't get dressed, and still cries if I tell her to do certain things*she is 2 and a half now* My daughter would cry if I put her down, and stuff. time-outs, for a 18 month old I don't think will work because 18 months.. is still a baby! They do need as much love and care as they can get, but I do know what you mean. Be firm when you say no to her, as annoying as it sounds, the back lash may be alot of crying.. but if you ignore the crying to an extent,... she should learn that she can't always get her way. By all means though, do get her checked out by a child-health nurse or doctor to be certain there are no other possibilities to why this behaviour is present..

Answer 5

All I have to say is: handle it while you can. Right now, she is a difficult toddler. If you continue to let her be spoiled and babied, she'll grow into a difficult child, and then a difficult teenager. Teenagers are difficult enough, you don't want a particularly aggravating one! Some children get better as they go to school though. Try enrolling her in a play school.

Answer 6

it is because you baby her

Answer 7

This is still quite young and not every child goes by the

book !  She could be quite introverted and shy , of course

this wont be evident till she is older.   You need to just keep

on giving all that love and hope to see some changes as

they develop.    If you really feel as a mum somethings are

too far behind ask your doctor to seek a specialist appointment for behavioural problems.

It is also quite likely there is a medical reason for her

delayed development.  Dig she have any major illness

she had to get over ?

If it is any comfort mine drove me nuts in getting themselves dressed or helping me dress them....i know it gets very frustrating.  You have to always allow an extra half hour with

children in doing anything, then you become less frustrated and less likely to take it out on bubs.  

i really believe you need a good break , even if once a week

you could get a day off say from 10 am till 630 pm , is there

no one in your family to help like this ?

From and experienced mum X3 , i really read in your question

the need for a break , everyone forgets it is a 24 hour job.

Answer 8

You may want to ask the pediatrician? but Im sure by the time she's 2 she will definitely find her independence she is still a baby but maybe just start telling her this is what big girls do....I know it sounds easier said then done but with time she should grow out of it... you should probally enjoy it while it lasts I have a 2year old and she definitely annoys me trying to do too much herself and it's not terrible to admit how you are feeling I think that's the problem with parents they lie about how they really feel due what another would think when really I think every mother has felt terribly annoyed at several points of parenting just hang in there I hope everything works out for you keep me posted

Answer 9

Maybe you are putting to much responsibility on her?   She is technically a baby still... at a year and a half they do not listen very well when told what to do, its not that they are ignoring you they just dont quite understand... and at that age they really shouldnt be getting themselves dressed.  The more a child feels pressure to grow up the more likely they are to go backwards... she sounds like she is just not ready to be as grown up as youd like her to be, maybe she needs to get that baby attention a little longer.

Answer 10

yes.this is not normal.if i was you i see a doctor.it is a big problem.pleas do it soon.

Answer 11

instead of blending it to puree, mush it with a fork and slowly add more texture to it after a few days to a week u could try whole food but cut up into little pieces........

lol, i have 2 children a 5yr old son and a 2yr old daughter

my son still wants me to dress him, don't know why this is maybe for attention.

and my daughter stills wants me to breastfeed her, all through the night every 3 hours, also in the morning and at afternoon rest, just like a young baby.

they both cry when i tell them to do something and yeah timeout doesn't work for me either. but yet agian i'm not following through.

Answer 12

she wants to be babied because she is a baby. Of course time out doesnot work she is 18 months old. In 6 monthsa it may work. You are expecting far too much from her. Babies have a 2 month window for introducing lumpy food and you have missed it so it will take time to get her chewing. Stop blending and mash the food instead. At 18 months she is too young to dress herself. It is your expectations that you should be worried about. Not your daughter

Answer 13

Have her checked out for autism.

Answer 14

All kids are different, most don't want to be "babied" for long (like my 18month old) so just enjoy it as much as you can, they grow up so quick, it wont last forever :)

Answer 15

no. this isn't normal or acceptable. talk to your doctor about ways to have her gain her independence. You need to stop babying her. I don't mean to be rude! Seriously. But if you don't stop this now it will continue on into when she starts school and beyond that. She should have started to pick up her own food when she was about 4-6 months old. Give her whole foods, green beans and soft things. Leave it in front of her. If she won't eat it then just tell her ok well then you're not eating. Its not like you're trying to starve her. She'll get hungry. She might cry. She should eventually get the point that she will have to pick up the food herself.  But thats the only way I can think of to get her to eat on her own! You need to make her asap! Good luck!

Answer 16

!8 months really is still a baby. Sometimes we have unrealistic expectations of what is the norm. In another 18 months she could be a totally different child but focusing on her insecurities and giving her time out for something she really has no control over is in my opinion being unreasonable and may even make the situation worse. Everyone develops in their own time in their own way. Its far too early to jump to conclusions and label her . Show her  love  , give her lots of cuddles, encourage her to do things on her own without being overpowering and hopefully she will respond in a positive way.

Answer 17

I'm not sure if you have any other children, but if you do, she may think she is not getting enough attention and chooses to have you do things for her to keep your full attention. Although she is still very young and may be a little slower then some children her age.I think maybe you could just enjoy what you can do for her because befire you know it she won't need or want your help.So just enjoy this special time all will pass eventually.

Answer 18

Common Sense, because she’s a baby.

A more in-depth answer… If you don’t give in, let her stay hungry until she eats on her own, don’t dress her, and I know it sounds horrible too, but mistreat her a bit, she will come around. I am not saying hit your child, I am saying, show her how she’s supposed to act. She knows she can get away with it, because you let her. Put a stop to it before she’s 13 and you’re doing her pre-algebra homework because she knows that  you’re a pushover.

Answer 19

Sounds like she needs some tough love.  It sounds mean but give her the food you want her to eat and give her the spoon.  If she doesn't eat then she goes hungry.  She will decide to eat on her own when she is hungry.  say things like "Lets go get dressed like a big girl"  or "lets clean up like a big girl".  and every time she does something that's independent make a BIG deal about it.  Praise her and tell her " good job, mommy is so proud, you are such a big girl". even if its things she already does.  This will make her want to do the action again.   Also if you have to help her with something, ask her if she wants to try, but make it sound fun.  It will spark her curiosity.

Answer 20

you should talk to your pediatrician. some of those things are normal and some of them are a little excessive..try beginning finger foods with cheerios just put them in front of her and be encouraging spoon feed her something else...

my 18 mo is clingy but feeds herself and uses a spoon with out help. Is also starting to talk really well.

Answer 21

Our girls are about the same age. I think you may have babied her too long. It's hard to break old habits, especially when they make us or our child feel better. My kids are independant because I trained them to be so. Trust me, no mom on here should make you feel bad about feeling annoyed! We all do especially when it is hard to introduce new things. I would try implementing new stratigies for her. Limit pick me ups first. She will cry and it is normal. Sit out a plate of crackers and celery bites. Leave it for her to play with. She needs to know it is ok to touch, play and eat it. Do you have dress up clothes for her? My girl loves walking around in my shirts or even underwear! I know, I have no idea why the underwear, but she does. Play games, like "let's throw this in the trash can, Yeah!!!" Small things help. Avoid making huge changes all together, this will only set her back farther. Time outs don't really work on my end either, yet Dr. Phil says if we are to do them; then first sit them where they are to sit; time for the age(2/ys is 2.min.) anything else is too long and they forgot why they were there to begin with! Then I hug my kids and tell them why they got in trouble and explain it to them. She is being normal. However, she is showing you that she is boss and spoiled. I know spoiled sounds harsh, but if she gets what she wants, then that is how she will act. One last suggestion, have her interact with other girls her age. She will view them as the norm and copy what they do. It will take time, but it is possible to change. Do you work outside the home? If so, don't feel bad, she may be wanting mommie all to herself, she misses you. If not, then you are around too much and interferring with the independance part, so go out with friends and have her go to one of the kiddie play gyms. Kid zone or something. Mom's can drop off their child to play with other kids, like a daycare, but more fun and you can just pop in and out as you need to. Or call Grandma!

Hope this helps out. Take care. You'll get through it, I promise!

I also agree with Flor. on the post too. She'll definately choose to eat than starve!

Answer 22

18 months is too young for time out! Gheez... Take her to the doctor. Maybe she just likes to be babied!

Answer 23

u are babying her.. put her in her highchair and give her finger foods... and start NOW because 18 months old is BIG for being spoon fed.. she should be able to pick up food with her hands by now... start treating her like a toddler and she will start acting like one.

Answer 24

its probably because shes a baby.

show her how you use a spoon/ fork. then you can hold her hand, with the spoon in it, and show her how it works.

as long as its things she likes to eat, and that are easy to chew, she'll learn. maybe put a mirror in front of her so she can see herself using the spoon. maybe finger foods first.

you don't have to starve her, but if she wont try on her own, let her be hungry. just for a little while. if she isnt developing you have to address that.

or go with grown up foods that are soft, like mashed potatoes, or sweet potatoes mashed with butter. mmm

get her moving, grow the independence, and soon you'll have a toddler that freaks out when she sees you blowing on her plate.

my 2 y/o does that. 'NO! I can!' and then blows on his own food, or forgets and goes 'uh oh, hot!' and then blows.