Why does my 21 year old daughter resents me?

Question

I mean me and her dad gave her everything. I have to admit i'm a bit of an enabler and we did spoil her a bit. She seems to get along fine with her friends but for some reason whenever she enters the house shes angry. Why is this?

Answer 1

my sister is the same way and we found out she was smoking pot, and that will alter your behavior, especially if they are out, i hope she is not taking drugs, and she would probably lie about if she was but good luck.

Answer 2

Sounds like a spoiled brat to me... sorry.  Did you give her enough quality time rather than ,aterial things?

Answer 3

There are 2 sides to parenting: yours and your daughters. Maybe the material items you gave her didn't replace loving her. Ask her about it.

Answer 4

she is just finding herself and needs some space. Spoiling/enabling in my opinion (based on personal experience, too :) can add to this a bit. What has worked with my 21 year old daughter... is exactly what you should probably do anyway (difficult as it can be)...I give her all of the space she needs and just try to be there for her. It does pay off sometimes. Last night I flew in from a particualrly fun, but emotionally draining trip. She had watched my house for me and stuck around and sat on the kitchen counter with me and then grabbed us some Indian take out and a dumb funny movie while I showered and unpacked. They get it, they are just going through an enormous transition at this age (at least mine is).

Answer 5

Maybe she has her own conflicts she's dealing with. A lot of teens and young adults don't talk to their parents about their problems because they may be ashamed, worried, or feel that they're at a point where it's time to deal with their own problems without the help of other people.

Talk to her. Ask her if there is anything going on that you might want to know about or if she just wants to talk in general. Tell her how you feel that she resents both you and her father. More than likely after hearing that you feel resentment she'll open up.  

Answer 6

Why not talk to her about it?  She'd be able to answer your question better than we could.

Answer 7

She might be having problems in her life. You might try talking to her about this.

She could very well be having boy/money problems.

it could be a variety of things.

good luck (:

Answer 8

Why don't you talk to her..she is an adult after all.

Answer 9

Why does your 21 year old daughter still live at home?

I suspect that is the problem.  21 year old adults should be living on their own.  If they dont, they tend to feel smothered by their parents.  I suspect if you get her out of the house, you'll notice that she's a lot nicer before real long at all, especially if you mind your own business and only give opinions or advice when she asks for it (which she will, dont worry).